I was wondering what advice any of you have as far as when or what to tell my kids (14 & 17 girls) about leaving.
My wife refuses to go to any kind of counsoling - because "she is not the f*&^ing problem> If all of you would just listen to me there wouldnt be any problem" etc... I have had all I can take, I have been seeing a therapist for about a year and half. I believe, and so does the therapist, that my wife is a high functioning mentally ill person.
The girls know, as they say on occasion, "somethings not right with her" Other days she could act perfectly fine, but that ended about 6 months ago. We ahvent had a SINGLE day since Christmas that there wasnt some incident of her actting "off" a bit. And when it gets bad enough, I take her bait and say a few things back that I am not proud of either. Once when I told my oldest that I was sorry waht she heard me say to her mom, she said "I wish youhad said it a year ago so she would realize how she is acting" This coming form one of the sweetest most compasionant teens I know.
So my questoin is; I am making plans to leave shortly - within a month for sure if I can make it that long. I am planning on taking the kids with me at first. With her mental state things could get ugly emotionaly if not physically. How far ahead of time should I tell them that I am leaving and this is the end of us as a family? I think in the long run they will be relieved that they wont have to put up with all of her hatered towards me all the time.
How have any of you handled it good OR bad that you would or wouldnt do over again?
I want them to be prepared, but not have to dwell on it either waiting for teh time to come,
it sounds as though they already know it is coming. Just explain to them in the most compassionate way you can without saying anything at all negatively about their mom. And before you move out, talk to their mother one more time about getting some help. Then you will feel as though you did everything you can. My stbx told our kids who are all under 10 that he doesn't love me anymore. I'm sure it hurts them to hear this and he takes every chance he gets to tell them this again and again. It is very disrespectful. I think at your girls ages though, they will be ok.
-------------------- What is the future but a mirrored image of the past? Only we can make it better or worse!
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