emllc
New
Reged: 04/16/08
Posts: 9
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I'm having an affair and want to get a divorce but don't know what my rights are and what will happen w/ my children. Help!!
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Samsung
Platinum
Reged: 06/14/07
Posts: 2009
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Much more detail is needed.
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emllc
New
Reged: 04/16/08
Posts: 9
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I'm having an affair and I'm in love with this person. I want to leave my husband. I'm afraid of what's going to happen when I file for divorce b/c I have 2 children. I wonder what will happen to the house, the kids, etc. I work out of my home and my husband makes a lot more money than I do. We just bought the house we're in now in Sept. and put a lot of money into it fixing it up and now due to market changes won't get back what we have outstanding. My children have special needs and I've fought to get them into the right school system, which happens to be the most expensive town in the state, and I don't want their education and needs to suffer from this. I'm not familiar w the laws and I don't know what will happen, so I'm afraid and conflicted.
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Starion
Gold
Reged: 03/04/08
Posts: 122
Loc: South Florida
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Why not walk away from it all ?
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emllc
New
Reged: 04/16/08
Posts: 9
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What do you mean??
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Starion
Gold
Reged: 03/04/08
Posts: 122
Loc: South Florida
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Gather your clothes and personal possesions and leave and file for divorce. The kids are set in their life and home and school life - why would/should that change ? You are the one that wants to leave for this new guy - so go and leave everything except your kids behind. Get standard visitation of every - other - weekend and one night a week with them and continue to be their mother and start a new life with this new guy - from scratch.
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KGrow
Platinum
Reged: 01/27/06
Posts: 3098
Loc: Colorado
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[quote]I'm having an affair and want to get a divorce but don't know what my rights are and what will happen w/ my children. Help!! [/quote]
You generally have a right to half of the marital property/debt and you have the right to some amount parenting time with your children. The rest has to be worked out through negotiation and/or court rulings. The place to start is to decide what it is that you want and try to discern what it is he wants. You will eventually find a point somewhere between that will suck for both of you and suck even more for the kids. Good luck.
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Starion
Gold
Reged: 03/04/08
Posts: 122
Loc: South Florida
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Depends on where she lives. If she lives in a "fault" state then she most likely won't get half - she'll get what they determine she contributed - maybe. Lots of variables.
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movingon2
Platinum
Reged: 12/06/07
Posts: 209
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Were you having this affair before you bought the house last Sept? You’ve got your children into the right school system and spent a ton of money fixing your new home up? Something doesn’t add up, so I’m going to guess that you’ve recently met this guy and he’s swept you off your feet. Think about the person you are married to, does he abuse you? Does he abuse drugs or alcohol? Does he make life unbearable for you? If not, hold on and think very hard about what you are giving up and the pain this will cause your husband, and more so your children. If your spouse is an overall good guy, but the zest has gone then get some counseling. If I was you (and your husband is willing), I would look at saving my marriage before hiring an attorney. If your husband is in the dark about the affair well that is down to you telling him about it. Divorce is hell! Good luck.
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faith4two
Platinum
Reged: 11/11/07
Posts: 353
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I see this post and the responses, and it's a reminder to me of why I selected this site as my online support "home", and not one of the competing sites where the unfaithful deserved a fate just shy of a public hanging. Not one of you has made a sarcastic or hateful remark about the original poster's dilemma....and for those who are tempted to do so, you haven't.
To the original poster, I've sent you a private message... you can get to it by hitting the "My Home" link.
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