Divorce Support Forums: women: is there any answer that would comfort you?

[quote]So sorry, but I don't get why you are so concerned with her playing the disability card? Are you afraid that your reputation will suffer or something? You know why you are leaving. Tell her. If you have, and she still won't listen, throw up your hands and leave already. She will then be forced to work it out on her own. Sympathy or not, it sounds like you are enabling her more than helping her. [/quote]

she thinks i'm leaving because she is disabled. She cannot wrap her head around that its because she hasnt tried to do the most basic things all these years and i did it all. So yes i am not happy when she says i'm leaving her because of the disability. As far as rep, she has no friends in the area and my friends know the truth...and all her family is hours away from here so the only rep i'm concerned with is mine with her and of course should this ever go to court i want it known she has the SSD just for migraines and PTSD and nothing physically has ever been found wrong with her.

And she is committing slow suicide by smoking so much after all the DR tell her not to smoke, so she can heal. And she is diabetic and buys huge quantities of sugar snacks (4 boxes of ringdings the other day). Wont get up and move around and her back looks horribly bruised from not moving around..doesnt listen to the Doctor when he said move around. hasnt called a new doctor to get any relief...just cries to our general doctor that he MUST up her pain patches...so he did a bit after a LOT of convincing. I cannot and will not watch my wife commit slow death. I just cant.

also i know you havent followed my story but since she has no one in the area SHE must leave not me. So i'm doing my best to take care of her until she moves out. she assures me it will be less than a year. and yes i've told her multiple times why i'm leaving, both in therapy and at home.

and yes enabling her is one reason i'm getting a D, i cant do that anymore. It's amazing what she is doing now that i said i want a D though, smoking away from me, calling all the DR for prescription refills, calling the insurance company, even putting away all the dishes.

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call me WWIL...PA resident 39 year old , married 11 years, together 12...splitting in 13th year.