Home | Help | Site Map | Contact Us
Divorce Support Forums: Son and Girlfriend issues
 
Alert Message: as a reminder, you must register to be able to post in the forums.
Divorce Support Forums Divorcesupport.com
You are not logged in.
[Login]
[Register Here]
Main Index · Search Forums · Active Topics
New User Registration · Who's Online · FAQ · Calendar

General Forums >> Stepfamily Issues
Previous topic Previous   View all topics Index   Next topic Next   Threaded Mode Threaded  

Pages: 1
bb13576
New


Reged: 04/18/08
Posts: 2
Son and Girlfriend issues
      #197823 - 04/18/08 07:58 PM (76.230.74.220)
Edit post Edit   Reply to this post Reply   Reply to this post Quote   Quick Reply Quick Reply  

I have a 3 year old son that recently started having issues with my girlfriend. A little background about our situation: I got divorced from his mom about 1 1/2 years ago. Our son was 2 then. He is now 3. He lives primarily with his mother. I get him every other weekend, a full day during each week, and 5 days during the week every 6 weeks. I have been seeing my girlfriend for about a year now. He has known her about that time as well. She has a daughter that is about a year younger than he is (2 at this time). Our relationship is going well and is serious now. Until recently she and my son got along just fine. About a month ago he began crying randomly for no reason when she is around. He huddles around me and will not leave my side to go play or anything. If I go downstairs to the basement to do laundry, he cries even though he knows where I am at. He hardly plays with her daughter anymore. Like I said, everything seemed great up until about a month ago. He used to play with her daughter, he used to communicate with my girlfriend and everything else. My girlfriend treats him great. She has never done anything to him to ruin his trust. She does not yell at him or hit him or anything like that. She will correct him and make him sit in time out if she sees him do something wrong and I am out of the room. But, this has occurred nearly the whole time they have had a relationship together. Even when all of us are in the living room together, he just kinda sits there. He will not play or interact with anyone. He wants to sit as close to me as possible.
A few things come to mind. The first is separation anxiety. I believe he is afraid of me leaving him or has a fear that she is replacing his mother. Maybe he feels like I abandoned him when his mother and I split up and when I leave the room he is losing me again.
Second, I have a fear that his mother is saying negative things to him about my girlfriend and I. I have really no way to prove this or really anyway to stop it if this is happening.
It mainly bothers me that the problem has suddenly appeared. It would seem different if it had been like this for the last year but all of a sudden starting I am at a loss.

My questions to anyone are: One what would cause this? Are my theories right? Second and most important, how do I improve their relationship? I am not the kind of man that can have a relationship with another woman and have issues with kids be it me with hers or her with mine. She feels like she is doing something wrong. I tell her she is not to reassure her and honestly don't know what else she could do. I appreciate any feedback anyone could give or any similar experiences. Thank you.


Post Extras: Print Post   Remind Me!   Notify Moderator  
juliacinaz
Platinum
***

Reged: 02/03/08
Posts: 796
Re: Son and Girlfriend issues [Re: bb13576]
      #198108 - 04/20/08 03:54 PM (68.2.56.129)
Edit post Edit   Reply to this post Reply   Reply to this post Quote   Quick Reply Quick Reply  

If it was me I would spend more time with my child away from the GF and her child. Sounds to me like your son needs you and to feel secure about the relationship with you. Introducing another so early on can cause confusion for the child. Is the GF a live in? Maybe you can plan some time alone with your son.

Post Extras: Print Post   Remind Me!   Notify Moderator  
Pages: 1


Previous topic Previous   View all topics Index   Next topic Next   Threaded Mode Threaded  

Extra information
0 registered and 1 anonymous users are browsing this forum.

Moderator:   

Print Topic

Forum Permissions
      You cannot start new topics
      You cannot reply to topics
      HTML is disabled
      UBBCode is disabled

Rating:
Topic views: 388

Rate this topic

Jump to

Contact Us | Privacy statement Divorce Support Forums

Powered by UBB.threads™ 6.5.2

Terms | Privacy | Security | Contact Us | Recommend Us | Join the Directory | Site Map
Copyright © 1997- 2005 , All Rights Reserved.