kmr88
New
Reged: 10/14/07
Posts: 14
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My Xw has sole custody of our children. I have visitation.
I have had to change jobs twice in 6 months, however, I am back at my previous job with stable income, benefits, and more money. My xw doesn't want joint custody if it's split like 2 wks a month. I guess I would be open to something else., XW says it would not be in the best interest of the children, which I understand, but we work different schedules and visitation is not enough. I feel it's important they live with me part of the month.
The kids are doing OK and it was agreed that she have custody at the time of the divorce, I was finishing school. There are many things about the divorce agreement that were stated that are now null and void.
One of them was she move to South Carolina which she now doesn't plan to do. I am currently 900.00 behind in child support for which I plan to pay this week. I want joint custody of my children. I want ironclad advice before I retain my attorney for this ANSWER MAN, PLEASE!
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theanswerguy
Platinum
Reged: 04/12/07
Posts: 2147
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The easy answer is to ask the mother for a stipulated agreement changing custody from sole to joint . If she won't agree , you'll need to prove a " significant change in circumstances " for a court to modify the custodial arrangement and visitation . You can enhance the possibility of this happening by living very near the children and taking the kids as much as possible ( with accurate records ) for at least a year .
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Never let your sense of morals get in the way of doing what's right. Isaac Asimov
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kmr88
New
Reged: 10/14/07
Posts: 14
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A year?? What if my oldest says she wants to live with me? She's 14 yrs. old.
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theanswerguy
Platinum
Reged: 04/12/07
Posts: 2147
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The wishes of the child , however sincere , are usually not enough to meet the " significant change in circumstances " standard needed to modify custody , it is one factor among many that a court would consider . The child's preference could result in increased visitation .
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kmr88
New
Reged: 10/14/07
Posts: 14
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I'm not looking for increased visitation. The child can't ultimately make a decision of where they want to live??? Thanks
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kris_fla
Silver
Reged: 07/01/08
Posts: 70
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No, unfortunately they can't. I have found that most judges have the attitude that's if it's not broke, don't fix it. I moved from Fla, for my husband's job, my ex prepared for a long nasty battle in order to keep our child in Fla. Not wanting to put my child in the middle and knowing that the judge would more than likely side w/the ex, I moved, he took Primary and I had visitation several times a year, flying her up North. We moved back a year ago, after being gone for 3 years. I immediately sought as much visitation as my ex would allow, it's been a year, I filed a modification, we have our mediation appt. this month and I am asking for Joint (more like 60/40). Being that my child wants to come back to living with us..I am focusing on that fact, that joint custody benefits my child. She has new infant siblings, a new step dad (we married after we moved), I'm a stay at home mom, etc. etc. I listed all of the benefits that both families offer. I am asking for her every other weekend, every school break (spring, fall, 4 day weekends) and the entire summer with my ex getting her every other weekend during the summer. It comes out to me having her 125 days and my ex 239 (he will have 57 more days a year than me). What hopefully will help me is that I had Primary up until she was 7.5 years and that I aggressively sought visitation after returning. Does that make sense? I would butter up the ex and try and finagle as much visitation as you can, showing the court that your intentions are legit
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Seize the day. Remember all of those women on the Titanic who waved off the desert cart. E. Bombeck
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