Down
Platinum
Reged: 12/19/06
Posts: 465
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Too true. I just recently turned my case over to the county, too. X is over $3000 behind and has quit paying completely despite the court order.
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ttina
Platinum
Reged: 02/28/08
Posts: 398
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When will it stop????
I hope i am jumping the gun here... school office said two weeks ago it would be the last day of school.... 6/9.... the school website calender says 6/10
I am talking about 8th grade graduation/awards. Apparently happening the same time as court. Ex's nonsupport of his child has interfered in my life too many damn times. I do not have to be at court... not that it would be a choice.... I'mma be at graduation. I will talk to the caseworker and see if she can bump it to later in the day. It cannot be postponed because ex has been served.
I am tired of my life being effected by ex's stupid choices. I divorved him dammit!!! Yes, I know he is the father of my child... I have come to terms with him being in my life.... but I left because of his irresponsibility, drug use and immaturity (ironically he is 22 years older than me). Last night DH wanted to take me out.. all I wanted to do was mope at home with a few drinks. I was NOT good company. DH went to his 2nd job and I could have went along but I couldn't stand to be around myself... I knew I'd be a downer so I stayed home. Why does this man keep interfereing with my life? DH says I need to talk directly to ex.... to have it out with him. I am so afraid that if I were to start I couldn't stop.... I would say do things that would effect son. I work so damn hard at being neutral when it comes to ex and son's relationship.... Ex doesn't pay support but just this past weekend takes son to see iron man and buys him the AVP2 game. Son comes home saying how great his dad is.... I taste blood from biting my tounge... I wanna ask son.... so I'm not so great.... I keep aroof over your head, insurance, and food in your belly?!?!? But that is expected of me.... why isn't it expected of his father?
Yeah I am a momma... I do it because I love son, not for recognition or even a thank you. because I do not want to alienate son from father I spend most days with the taste of blood in my mouth and tears in my eyes and a great amount of anger at the situation. This high road sh!t is for the birds.
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ttina
Platinum
Reged: 02/28/08
Posts: 398
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Son just called.... apparently he's won a movie dvd... at Frankie's.... another of the things I cannot afford. Frankies is like a teenager chuck e cheese.... full of video gmaes and tokens to turn in for prizes. IT SUCKS that his dad will take him but not pay support.
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Samsung
Platinum
Reged: 06/14/07
Posts: 2223
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You've really got the wrong outlook on some of this. Anything that benefits the child, whether from you or their dad, is good for the child.
My ex married someone whole family has "old" money, and they have probably 10X the income I have, or more. My kids benefit from the higher lifestyle at their home, regardless if I can't provide the same here.
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ttina
Platinum
Reged: 02/28/08
Posts: 398
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If you read some of my posts, i have overlooked alot because it benefits Son... that has been my mantra for five years... I am finding it hard to keep this outlook when my face is being shoved in the inequities of the responsibility/fun factor. It is threatening to drag me into a depression. This is where I'm at today.
Plus ex says he can't pay CS... continues to do the fun stuff and won't get a job that drafts out CS payments
Edited by ttina (05/10/08 03:36 PM)
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Samsung
Platinum
Reged: 06/14/07
Posts: 2223
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I'm sorry, and I can relate to what you are saying. I've been in the same boat (although from another angle) for many years. I've learned to accept it and more or less celebrate it, rather than have it get me down. From a parental standpoint, I know I give far more to my kids than my ex, and there is satisfaction in that.
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ttina
Platinum
Reged: 02/28/08
Posts: 398
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If it were a matter of extra... I'd be happy for son. I am glad for oppritunities.... I am trying to push him to go on a missionary trip with the teens with our church to philidelphia this summer... habitat for humanity type experience. Son refuses. I want hime to have all the oppritunities I didn't. My anger is with ex who goes out and does all the fun stuff and leaves me with the mundane and no support. I don't tell son about CS other than when we have court (at son's request). This is starting to eat at me. Maybe it was the 10,000.00 mark that did it, I dunno. My mantra isn't working.
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nucleus
Bronze
Reged: 04/02/08
Posts: 43
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hey ttina,
man i feel your pain. i am just starting this whole process and stbx hasn't paid me a dime. it is hard to seperate visitation and child support only b/c they get to be the good time charlie all the time and we the mother's have to do the heavy lifting. the only satisfaction i have in all of this, and what keeps me going everyday, is the fact, one day the kids will figure it out and you won't have to say a word. i have this internal rage and i can't let it out. when my son goes to bed that is when i cry. i just don't understand why some men can't step up? even if they didn't want to give you the money, ok, fine, write the check out directly to the bill collector. i don't care! KWIM? anyway, i just wanted to offer support and let you know that you are not alone.
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justme1961
Gold
Reged: 03/11/08
Posts: 196
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It sounds like we are both in the same place. The anger towards my ex and his lack of support (both financially and parentally) consumes me. My husband tells me to let it go, but I can’t. Maybe things will be different after court next week.
I saw my daughter yesterday. She told me my ex is going to try to get custody of my son. He tried this last year, we got tangled in a big mess (in 2 different courts) and then he DROPPED HIS MOTION FOR CUSTODY. WTF! Now, he wants to try again. It is all about the money with him-he has told others he would like nothing better than for ME to pay child support to HIM. My son is not a yo-yo. My husband and I provide a very stable and loving home for him.
This weekend was my ex’s visitation-but I am supposed to have the kids on Mother’s Day. So, he dropped my son off at my house at 6:00am yesterday. He didn’t have his keys and we can’t hear the doorbell from our bedroom, but luckily the dogs went wild when they heard him. He came in all excited because Dad and his wife had a party Saturday night and he met a guy who played in the NFL for a short time. Supposedly this guy is going to mentor my son in football. Football is his (my son’s) life.
I think my son sees what his father is doing, but I am not certain. I refuse to talk to him about it. I know for certain my daughter gets it. My ex and his wife are both habitual liars and love nothing better than to stir up trouble. They both need to grow up!
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utdivorce
Gold
Reged: 02/26/07
Posts: 147
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Don't want to sound rude and mean but that's what you get when you marry someone who is 22yrs older than you. I thought six yrs was bad (that's the difference between ex and I), but 22yrs is really bad! I think you just have to deal w/the fact that only your son will enjoy his dad's money. My philosophy w/money is: if I work for it then I've earned it, i.e., It's my money. I never really liked the welfare system this government has created. Have some work and then give it to others. No good.
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