faith4two
Platinum
Reged: 11/11/07
Posts: 353
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Okay folks, I'm truly stumped here. I've spent time digging into the Texas laws regarding education. I even have an email out to the Texas Education Agency.
Obviously, a parent is responsible for ensuring their child is educated, there is a public school system available, but is it some requirement or entirely up to me to decide what that curriculum is going to be and where she gets it, as long as it meets the state standard requirements at the ages designated by the state?
The genesis of this is because she's in a Montessori program now - one which is NOT accredited by either of the two organizations in the US. The only regulations that govern this school are the state childcare licensing regulations.
So now that she's school-aged, can she, by law, attend what's more or less a daycare center with a Montessori shingle hung in the yard? And could the STBX call this a "private school"???
I was fine with the place considering she was a pre-schooler (she's attended since Jan. 2002), but now that she's reached 6, I'm thinking it's time we begin looking at the public school system (since we can't afford a genuine accredited "private" school).
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liberated
Platinum
Reged: 10/02/07
Posts: 550
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Well, from your tone, it sounds like you don't want her to continue there? The law states that you are required to provide an education and yes, you get to decide what that consists of. We homeschool and the requirements are that we teach Reading, Writing, Math, Spelling, and "good citizenship", whatever that looks like :) The only other stipulation is that we do it in a "bona fide manner". Homeschools are considered private school, as would be your Montessori or any other school like it.
Realistically speaking, a Montessori education, accredited or not, is probably superior to any public school around, especially for a 6 yo. I love Montessori and would love for my little ones to have had that. Maybe you could go in and talk to the administrator and see what they do at that level. You might love it!
Edited to add: the other thing you might want to consider is continuity for your daughter. You say she's been there since 2002...that's a long time for one so young. That's her world. With the divorce and other instability in her life (is she moving homes? other changes resulting from the divorce?), you might want to leave her there just for the sake of normalcy. Fewer changes at that age is best. Just a thought...
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Kimberley
Edited by liberated (05/01/08 05:02 PM)
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KGrow
Platinum
Reged: 01/27/06
Posts: 3109
Loc: Colorado
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Choosing private vs. public is something that both parents get to weigh in on in a joint custody situation. If you can't agree, your first step is going to be to find a mediator to help you work through it.
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faith4two
Platinum
Reged: 11/11/07
Posts: 353
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I don't have issue with Montessori philosophy AT ALL.
The issue relates to how the school is handling the D between my STBX and I. Neither of us has primary conservator. We are 50/50, and nearly a year post separation, we still have not had a temporary hearing to determine who does.
Even IF the STBX had primary, the school, nor he, can control certain aspects of my involvement or decision making regarding pickup/dropoff on my parenting days, yet this has been what has been attempted and backed by the school director (our child's teacher's mom) under the guise of "state regulations". It was initially successful.
I have not been a wilting violet. I did my homework and presented copies of the state childcare licensing regulations to the director. I thought we had the issue resolved; however, upon needing to exercise my parental rights to designate someone else for pickup/dropoff, her daughter made yet another attempt to tell me "as long as STBX approves". This was three months after I thought it was a done deal.
Director's mom was in her last days, and the director was absent. I called her and had a brief conversation with her regarding what her daughter (our child's teacher) had said. I took it one step further and wrote a letter to our child's teacher with copies of state regulations and the resolution I had come to with her mom several months earlier.
Okay fine. I got done what I needed to get done. However, since that day, our child's teacher literally RUNS back into the building when I drive up. I can only imagine what she would do if I showed up to observe our child's class....
The teacher brings her new puppy to the school. While I don't have issue with that in and of itself, the director buckled our child into the carseat one day stating that all the parents had to sign a release that it would be okay for the dog to be in the building. Yet I never saw that release form and heard nothing of it either from the STBX.
The nonsense cited as "state regulation", which I research and can find no inkling that supports what they're saying, that has me very concerned about our child attending the school in the future. Rather than continuing to call the school on the table and being labeled as a bonafide biotch, I would like to see our child in a different program.
And as I stated, as a result of the D, the money isn't there for her to attend this daycare/educational program next year.... unless STBX is going to foot the bill (I agreed to pay in June of last year, but wasn't expecting that it would be indefinite), and again, that just creates a whole new set of issues.
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MommaMia
Platinum
Reged: 02/17/07
Posts: 376
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If this private school and the tuition payments are in your papers, you would have to go back to court to change them.
If there is no mention of this in your papers, if it was me I would say I want your daughter in a public school, period. Then take it from there if your ex doesn't agree.
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liberated
Platinum
Reged: 10/02/07
Posts: 550
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Okay, well I thought there might be some backstory...it's hard to know the whole situation in one post :) I don't have a clue what you should do :) but it sounds like you may need legal intervention to change the status quo...
Good luck and let us know how it turns out!
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Kimberley
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Jada
Platinum
Reged: 06/02/07
Posts: 3234
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[quote]Okay, well I thought there might be some backstory...it's hard to know the whole situation in one post :) I don't have a clue what you should do :) but it sounds like you may need legal intervention to change the status quo...
Good luck and let us know how it turns out! [/quote]
If the child is going to be entering kindergarten in September, then it's not status quo that she is attending private school as most preschools and prekindergartens are private.
Since the parents don't agree, legal intervention is going to be needed to determine whether it's a public school or a private school.
And in this case, given the expensive nature of private school over public school, the parent wanting the private school is going to have to show that the public school isn't adequate in order to prevail. Unless the child attended Kindergarten at this place, then the parent who wants the public school is going to have to explain why the private school is no longer good enough.
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faith4two
Platinum
Reged: 11/11/07
Posts: 353
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I am aware that it's going to take legal intervention. I don't think the STBX or I thought we'd be a year into this process and still be where we are.
It's not that a Montessori program isn't good enough. In fact, I'd be happy (see the caveat) for her to continue in a different Montessori school where HER best interests are kept at stake, and the administration and staff don't interject themselves into our divorce by showing even a hint of bias toward one parent. I'm prohibited, whether implicitly or explicitly, from speaking to the teacher directly, and I am concerned about how their opinions impact her progress.
They appear to have taken a divide-and-conquer approach. The director is the only one who will speak to me about my inquiries about our child. Her daughter, our child's teacher, deals with him.
Even if one of us had a hands-down-no-questions-asked primary role, the staff should behave in a non-biased fashion - ALL of them, regardless of how they feel about the D. I am legally within my parental rights, even if I was named NCP, to be involved in her educational process.
The caveat is that I was ordered to pay the tuition for the daycare/school (nearly a year ago) when I had a job. I was fired from that job thanks to the STBX sending me a video clip of our child and I which had a silent install of keylogging software so that he could keep tabs on me. My employer didn't want to work with me to resolve the issues and gather the evidence to prove it. In this right-to-work state, I was terminated by phone, and mailed a stack of papers to sign, which a labor-employment attorney reviewed and informed me that they set me up, making it appear to be a voluntary separation.
So, I guess the next question becomes, if we're at this point thanks to his actions (and there is enough evidence against him to have legally halted other aspects of the divorce), and considering that pre-separation we'd discussed public school for her once the child did reach school-age (before I realized her daycare/school had no accreditation other than state childcare licensing regulations - which was FINE for me as she was a pre-schooler), do I flip burgers to keep her there another year, or go back to court and fight for public school for the 08-09 school year?
That essentially means I'd have to up the ante on getting primary designation before the 08-09 school year starts, uuggghhh, and I think I'm answering my own question here considering how much of this process is out of my control at present....
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Jada
Platinum
Reged: 06/02/07
Posts: 3234
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The parent who gets primary is going to have the school district.
There is just one problem with your situation and that is the status quo has been 50/50 from what I have gathered from your posts.
Document everytime you are not sent something home from school regarding your child. Document everytime they ask if it's okay with the father if the person that you designate someone to picks up your child. Send a letter to the teacher and director of the school, certified, return receipt requested, making it clear that ALL information about your child, including her academic performance, school trips, any accidents at school, being sent home (and make it clear which days you are the parent to call when your child is sick) due to illness. And give your lawyer a copy of the letter and the proof that they received it.
If you document well, even if you lose the public school argument, you may be able to get your child in a different school if you can prove the school is totally disregarding the fact that you are the parent.
I doubt you could prove that your stbx is the reason behind them cutting you out, but if you could, you would have primary in a heartbeat.
As for the court ordering you to continue paying, if you can prove that your stbx is the reason why you got fired, you may be able to have him foot the entire bill. But you need irrefutable proof that he did what you said he did. I don't doubt that he did it, but I am not the judge that will be hearing your divorce.
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