is it over
Platinum
Reged: 11/19/06
Posts: 330
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Lately I've noticed alot of posts about people finding someone new.. someone wonderful. I love reading these posts..and they give me hope that my someone special is out there somewhere for me.
I posted a few weeks back on ATVILLAS post about my dream man.. I said we had a casual/fun/non-drama relationship and I loved it. It seemed no sooner did I write those words and the drama began. I sit here pondering my path. Is there really a man out there who is compatible with me? Maybe I'm not all that good of a catch after all. I refuse to settle for ho-hum.. yet the real thing is so elusive for me.
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stoltz
Platinum
Reged: 01/29/07
Posts: 1489
Loc: Texas
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I remember someone telling me once that relationships were like shadows - the harder you try to catch them, the quicker they run from you. However, stop and walk your own path and the shadow will follow.
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saamrodi
Platinum
Reged: 06/14/07
Posts: 2899
Loc: here
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Quote:
I remember someone telling me once that relationships were like shadows - the harder you try to catch them, the quicker they run from you. However, stop and walk your own path and the shadow will follow.
Nice Stoltz, very nice...
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Nish
Platinum
Reged: 02/18/07
Posts: 1295
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Great words and I totally agree with it. I wasn't looking for anyone when the wonderful man I married 2 years ago, came into my life.
I was finishing up on dealing with the aftermath of my 2nd failed marriage. He entered my life like a soft gentle breeze and softly surrounded me, but always leaving me the freedom to do and be whatever I wanted.
What he has helped me to learn is, love is patient, caring and kind. It doesn't have to be rushed or forced. When the time is right and if you allow another to come in, I mean completely in, the end result is the most satisfying, rewarding and loving relationship two people can experience.
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stoltz
Platinum
Reged: 01/29/07
Posts: 1489
Loc: Texas
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Nice Stoltz, very nice...
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Thanks, however, it CAN backfire as well - I'm living proof of it.
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happytobdivorced
Platinum
Reged: 03/15/07
Posts: 1118
Loc: Hell, USA
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I'm sure there is someone out there for you. Sometimes I think we are too scarred to be able function sucessfully in a relationship again. I try to resist the urge to act in ways that are defensive or to shut down. But it is a hard habit to break.
I also think our expectations and criteria is so high that we feel like finding someone compatible is unreachable.
Think about what about you or your expectations caused the drama. I know I do it. A situation that reminds me of something from my past that I dealt with my ex on makes me react-either verbally or just mentally in my head.
I hope I just made sense?????
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Message for my ex "I think you know by now, I'm not the person I used to be"
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gigi
Platinum
Reged: 11/06/06
Posts: 5050
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Just when I start to think you're hopeless, you say something wonderful like this! Are you SURE your wife and you are over? Isn't there some way to make it work?
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stoltz
Platinum
Reged: 01/29/07
Posts: 1489
Loc: Texas
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Just when I start to think you're hopeless, you say something wonderful like this! Are you SURE your wife and you are over? Isn't there some way to make it work?
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Thanks.
Psychologically? Yes. Just too much over the years to even think of rebuilding a relationship. Looking back I can now see the red flags, but hindsight is always 20/20. If it weren't for the kids, we'd have split long ago. She's with me for financial support (not that she needs it, but it allows her to stay at home and spend money without working), and I'm with her for the kiddos. (For those who don't know, she's mentioned several times that if we ever split, she'd make SURE I'd never see the kids, and she's the type that would do it, too) We don't have huge blow-ups anymore, which is good, I guess, but love left long ago. I figure the day after the last one leaves the nest, we'll officially split. The good news is that all the emotional/mental anguish people suffer after a divorce won't be there as it's pretty much already occurred.
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is it over
Platinum
Reged: 11/19/06
Posts: 330
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I've been thinking about my part in the drama as HTBD said.. a good idea. Here's the short version.. tell me if I'm over-reacting.. We were to meet at my house.. I was 10 min late. He called (from my house) "Where r u?".. I said on the way I got a speeding ticket I'll be there in a few min".. I hurried him off the phone because I was on the other line making a dr. appt and I didnt want them to hang up on me. When I got to the house, he was gone.. he came back 30 min later, and was MAD.. said I sounded "like I was lying" on the phone. I got mad and told him he was behaving like a jacka**.. and so we really haven't talked since Nor do I want to. I'm still mad.. and hurt... what would I be lying about????
I was thinking maybe a guy would recognize this behavior.. picking a stupid fight to make the girl dump u so u dont have to dump her?? I just want no drama.. nice guy.. not jealous or dreaming up lies when there are none.. wtf?
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mrpat
Platinum
Reged: 09/12/07
Posts: 2638
Loc: Michigan
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wtf indeed............not worthy.
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People don't care how much you know.........until they know how much you care.
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