justme1961
Gold
Reged: 03/11/08
Posts: 196
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Okay-
So,last week I find out my ex has hired a lawyer for our hearing in 2 weeks. He owes me around $18,000, he is currently unemployed, yet he can afford to pay a lawyer. ARGH.......I know I will probably never see any of the money. I know he is running scared because he is facing jail time. Well, who's fault is that??? It is not my fault he is financially irresponsible. How can someone who earned over $135,000 last year have NO MONEY??? Plus, his wife works.
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chatter box
Platinum
Reged: 11/09/07
Posts: 1309
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It's called priorities and he doesn't have his in order.
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JenH03
Platinum
Reged: 02/07/08
Posts: 227
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"How can someone who earned over $135,000 last year have NO MONEY??? Plus, his wife works."
When you find out the answer to that question, let me know, cuz my husband's ex made at least that much also and claims broke all the time too. And her husband also works. I don't get it either. If my husband and I made that much money, plus got the CS she gets, we'd be quite comfortable.
I guess some people just live beyond their means.
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germangirl631
Platinum
Reged: 04/04/08
Posts: 1332
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[quote] I guess some people just live beyond their means. [/quote]
What?? You mean that's not the American Way?
I wish high school taught people how to budget and live in the real world rather than just reading, writing and rithmatic. My parents taught me about budgeting and stuff (mostly because they didn't let us kids ask for the sun and expect it and we had to work and save up for things we wanted to buy as we got older) but I don't think a lot of parents teach these things because they don't know it themselves. Any new man I meet who I might consider a prospect will need to show me how they budget. I'm not falling into the spendthrift trap again.
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JenH03
Platinum
Reged: 02/07/08
Posts: 227
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My stepson actually had a project in his Econmics class (which I remember doing also) where he had to pretend to get a job, a car, an apartment, figure out living expenses, etc. I'm not sure how much he really learned from it but at least it was something, cuz he definitely isn't learning the value of a dollar from his mother!
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ATVILLAS
Platinum
Reged: 05/12/07
Posts: 2355
Loc: West Palm Beach FL
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[quoteI wish high school taught people how to budget and live in the real world rather than just reading, writing and rithmatic. [/quote]
Did schools here start teaching that again? I thought it was puters,sports and cheerleading!!!
--------------------
Help someone smile today!!!
Welcome to paradise!!!
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Samsung
Platinum
Reged: 06/14/07
Posts: 2223
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I had a business class in high school in the 1970's, where we were to invest a "fake" $200 in the stock market, after the teacher gave us a few pointers. One of the students, who had a job, actually invested $200. He put it all into a local power company, and never took it out. I talked to him recently, and it's worth about $16K. His only comment beyond that, was he wished he had taken the $2500 he had saved at the same time to buy a car, and put it there, as it would be worth over $200K now!
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Toadsrus
New
Reged: 05/23/08
Posts: 9
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[quote]Okay-
So,last week I find out my ex has hired a lawyer for our hearing in 2 weeks. He owes me around $18,000, he is currently unemployed, yet he can afford to pay a lawyer. ARGH.......I know I will probably never see any of the money. I know he is running scared because he is facing jail time. Well, who's fault is that??? It is not my fault he is financially irresponsible. How can someone who earned over $135,000 last year have NO MONEY??? Plus, his wife works. [/quote]
I had my first court date yesterday. The stbx and I agreed that neither of us were going to get attorneys as neither of us could afford it. Well, I walk into the courthouse and here comes her attorney introducing himself. Last week she was trying to squeeze money out of me because she told me she couldn't afford to buy groceries or clothes for the kids, then she shows up with a lawyer that required a $5,000 retainer! She couldn't even feed the kids! (and yes I have been paying her child support since our separation, without any court order. She just spends it all on trips to wineries and concerts and limos and fancy dinners and $1,000 shopping sprees, then tells the kids it's somehow my fault when they can't have something they want)
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katyb66
New
Reged: 06/01/08
Posts: 9
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Hi justme,
Have your attorney check into this law, if the man was making that much money and not paying child support then he looks to be "willingly" not paying. Refer to section below of $10,000 being a felony. Check your state OCSE to find out how they handle someone who is $10,000 or more behind in C/S. Some will have him sign an agreement and if he misses ONE TIME then he goes to prison- not jail but prison.
hope this helps.
The Law Today
Today, a child support violator can be prosecuted under Federal law if the following facts exists: 1) the violator willfully failed to pay; 2) a known child support obligation; 3) which has a) remained unpaid for longer than a year or is greater than $5,000 (misdemeanor), or has b) remained unpaid for longer than two years or is greater than $10,000 (felony) 4) for a child who resides in another state, or 1) the violator traveled in interstate or foreign commerce; 2) with the intent to evade a support obligation; 3) if such obligation has remained unpaid for a period of one year or longer-or is greater than $5,000 (felony). See 18 U.S.C. §228.
Edited by katyb66 (06/01/08 07:29 PM)
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Samsung
Platinum
Reged: 06/14/07
Posts: 2223
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I wouldn't mind these kinds of laws, as long as they apply to all debt. If you are $10K behind on credit cards or child support, the penalty should be same.
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katyb66
New
Reged: 06/01/08
Posts: 9
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I would hope if your credit card debt is behind $10,000 that it's because your children are not going w/out basic necessities however if your C/S is behind $10,000 most likely your children are going w/out basic necessities.
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EZmark
Platinum
Reged: 06/04/07
Posts: 292
Loc: Florida
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There can be perfectly legitimate reasons for being behind 10K in CC debt, custody battle, emergency, etc. There can be perfectly good reasons for being behind 10K in CS, accident, unemployment, etc. In all cases the payer should be responsiible enough to make the proper legal notifications but even that won't change the reality of the situation.
Speaking of reality, any CS who would let their child go without basic necessities (as you stated) because somebody else wasn't paying something should not be a CS. Your agenda is typically clear, use threats of jail and child's sufferring as a tool for $ from X. No surprise finding you here. Despicable.
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mistake#2
Platinum
Reged: 07/19/06
Posts: 3268
Loc: Florida
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[quote]There can be perfectly legitimate reasons for being behind 10K in CC debt, custody battle, emergency, etc. There can be perfectly good reasons for being behind 10K in CS, accident, unemployment, etc. In all cases the payer should be responsiible enough to make the proper legal notifications but even that won't change the reality of the situation.
Speaking of reality, any CS who would let their child go without basic necessities (as you stated) because somebody else wasn't paying something should not be a CS. Your agenda is typically clear, use threats of jail and child's sufferring as a tool for $ from X. No surprise finding you here. Despicable. [/quote]
Okay lets be fair here...how often do you hear NCP's that DON'T pay their child support obligation stating that the CP doesn't need their money or that the CP is just a money grubber that is out doing their nails or something. What does the NCP not paying REALLY mean for the CP? It generally means that the CP has to often tell their child no, they can't afford XYorZ and it often means that the CP has to work more hours which means less time with the child. Does it mean that the child goes without basic necessities? Usually not cause if a CP didn't provide even the basics then THEY could lose their children & possibly go to jail for neglect. Most CP's are going to work their butts off to provide (just as majority of NCP's are going to pay the child support obligation) for those that won't...whether that be a CP or an NCP, they both SUCK and should rot!
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katyb66
New
Reged: 06/01/08
Posts: 9
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Speaking of reality, any CS who would let their child go without basic necessities (as you stated) because somebody else wasn't paying something should not be a CS. Your agenda is typically clear, use threats of jail and child's sufferring as a tool for $ from X. No surprise finding you here. Despicable.
The custodial parent asked what her options were, I did a simple google search and found that law. So what is the problem w/ me in this forum? You write as if you know me considering this is the first time I've posted in this forum so you must have me mistaken for someone else.
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katyb66
New
Reged: 06/01/08
Posts: 9
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agree with ya mistake#2 as to how unrealistic that statement was as it being one being a reply to another unrealistic reply about children and credit card being of same worth.
Back to the original post, the parent states the ncp makes over $100,000/year and is over $15,000 in debt on c/s. The law is there to be used and should be used. Both parents are responsible for the kids not just one. Why should the other parent get off from paying their part of the child support, does the parent who has the child get to not pay for what is needed in the household or school, diapers etc just because they have other obligations? Nope because the parent who has the child is the one who has to witness that child going w/out. There's the difference.
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EZmark
Platinum
Reged: 06/04/07
Posts: 292
Loc: Florida
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Original poster is crying for more $. $he has the kids, sounds like his relationship with the kids is being strained (one has to wonder why?), $he doesn't mention herself working, but $he's received CS & alimony, and is married, and living off a new man, pity he forgot to put that clause in the MSA to end alimony upon remarriage or cohabitation. (Pay attention to that men, if $she cheats and shacks up with him it can save you alimony!).
He's unemployed and reported it and working as much as he can while looking for a job. $he thinks he's gotten away OK, so $he's angry and wants the ezmoney $he's thinks $he's entitled to, and to hurt him in any way too.
If she is working and contributing to support their kids and if he's really making 100K+ and not supporting his kids he'll be foolishly supporting attorneys instead, but it looks to me like another case of it's still not enough.
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mistake#2
Platinum
Reged: 07/19/06
Posts: 3268
Loc: Florida
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[quote]Original poster is crying for more $.
**I think she was stating that he isn't paying the court ordered support, not asking for even more...
$he has the kids, sounds like his relationship with the kids is being strained (one has to wonder why?),
**I don't think she stated anything beyond that he is behind in support and makes good money so she doesn't understand why...
$he doesn't mention herself working,
**No, she didn't mention herself working but probably assumed that everyone else would assume that she's supporting herself and fulfilling her obligation to her child, but we'd have to ask specifically if she's working to know for sure...
but $he's received CS & alimony,
**She didn't state anything about alimony, did I miss something there?
and is married, and living off a new man, pity he forgot to put that clause in the MSA to end alimony upon remarriage or cohabitation. (Pay attention to that men, if $she cheats and shacks up with him it can save you alimony!).
**She stated that HE WAS REMARRIED...unless it's in a post that I missed, she didn't state that she was re-married or cohabitating...nor do I remember seeing that she shacked up with some guy after cheating on her ex...again did I miss something there?
He's unemployed and reported it and working as much as he can while looking for a job.
**The poster said that he made something like $135,000 per year yet wasn't paying his child support obligation? Not that he was unemployed...
$he thinks he's gotten away OK, so $he's angry and wants the ezmoney $he's thinks $he's entitled to, and to hurt him in any way too.
If she is working and contributing to support their kids and if he's really making 100K+ and not supporting his kids he'll be foolishly supporting attorneys instead, but it looks to me like another case of it's still not enough. [/quote]
**It looks to me like it's more of a case of the NCP not wanting to pay for a child that they should be responsible for...and the CP is frustrated that NCP isn't responsible enough to put the children first so she's venting here and wondering if there is more that can be done.
Not every case is a NCP getting screwed out of time with the kids or nickel and dimed and used as an ATM...sometimes it's really about fulfilling a legal obligation to support the children by both parents that both parents were responsible for bringing into this world.
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justme1961
Gold
Reged: 03/11/08
Posts: 196
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Ezmark/Mistake #2
Some facts:
My ex is re-married (2nd time since our divorce).
I am also re-married.
I also work.
My children are teenagers, not babies.
My ex-husband was laid-off and he is working where he can while he looks for a job in his field. He could not collect unemployment right away because he got a severance package. (That is what he told me anyway).
Yes, I am supposed to receive alimony-a small amount each month.
No, I did not cheat-my ex-husband did (8 affairs during our marriage).
Mistake #2- Thank you for your understanding and objectivity.
Ezmark- Maybe you should read my post "Karma is Confusing" on the "Life After Divorce" forum. I am not a blood-sucking, money-hungry witch. You obviously feel scorned by your ex. Don't take it out on everyone else. An apology would be in order, but I will not hold my breath.
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katyb66
New
Reged: 06/01/08
Posts: 9
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a couple of things here JustMe, if he got a serverance(sp) pkg you should have been able to get a good chunk of your missing c/s payments out of this settlement and c/s is collected under Unemployment benefits. What is collected under unemployment benefits may not be the full amount you're suppose to collect but it will be a portion of it. Hope this helps.
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justme1961
Gold
Reged: 03/11/08
Posts: 196
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Hi Katy-
Ya, I know I should have received child support on his severance package. Our original divorce decree stated I would receive a % of all of his income (salary plus commissions). However, the court changed it to a set monthly amount based on his salary plus the % on his commissions. His company was sneaky (probably at his request) in the way they took the CS deduction. They took the monthly amount out of his last paycheck (conveniently there was not even enough to cover the court-ordered monthly payment)then they paid him his severance package.
He stated in court 2 weeks ago he used the money from the severance package to pay bills. And he also did the same with his 401k. We are still waiting for the court's decision.
It is all a moot point now and I will probably never see any of the money he owes me. He was arrested for his 4th DUI last week and for violating probation for a domestic assault charge on his wife from last fall (if he was good for one year the charges would have been dropped). His wife also filed a restraining order against him. He is currently living in our 2nd family room over the garage, as he had no one else to turn to and nowhere else to live. His next residence will, most likely, be jail.
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katyb66
New
Reged: 06/01/08
Posts: 9
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well hopefully your lawyer checked into your state laws about severance pay before you guys went to court because alot of the states allow back c/s to be taken out of any lump sum the ncp recvs.
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