HardKnox
Platinum
Reged: 06/13/07
Posts: 2764
Loc: Wisconsin
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[quote] "Shaming tactics are emotional devices meant to play on a man’s insecurities and shut down debate." [/quote]
I know.
And that's what so goddam comical about it.
Do women REALLY think that by criticizing a man's perceived "sexual inadequacies" that we're going to curl up in the fetal position and weep over our inadequacies? Maybe we should go dress shopping together stoltz. I've had my eye on this one, blue, with little yellow flowers.
I've heard "you've gotta stop" too many times for any of those tactics to work.
Lost interest in sex? You bet I have.
But it's not because Mr. Knish is flying at half-mast.
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stoltz
Platinum
Reged: 01/29/07
Posts: 1494
Loc: Texas
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I agree. And, while I can't speak for you, I haven't lost interest in sex, per se, - just lost interest in all the extra baggage (time, emotion, conversation, money) that it almost always requires. 10-15 minutes (maybe even sooner) with no other strings attached and I'd be content.
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liberated
Platinum
Reged: 10/02/07
Posts: 562
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[quote]I agree. And, while I can't speak for you, I haven't lost interest in sex, per se, - just lost interest in all the extra baggage (time, emotion, conversation, money) that it almost always requires. 10-15 minutes (maybe even sooner) with no other strings attached and I'd be content. [/quote]
That's just sad. If you have reduced making love to 15 minutes without emotion, conversation or bonding, then you deserve your hand...that's not what anyone wants! If you don't want a relationship, that's fine--once you decide that it's no one's business but your own. But don't confuse sex (what many marriages are reduced to in the end before a divorce) with making love...That's a horse of a different color.
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Kimberley
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saamrodi
Platinum
Reged: 06/14/07
Posts: 2911
Loc: here
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As I reread my reply, it comes off as tacky even to myself, when in actuality I was agreeing to a point.
I agree that roles have definately changed and that it affects men in alot of areas. Some of them good, some bad, some really bad.
I also agree that some women feel or revert to the same kind of aversions for some of the types of men that are around. The kind that dont want to be in the traditional roles. My ex masculinity was never ground into the dirt because I was a more "liberal" authoritive figure. I wasnt. Im not. Im very traditional and the lack on his part to even just be the male figure in responsibilities and a partner turned me off to him in more ways than one.
Intimacy became non-existant and then the act just completely disappeared due to my choice. It happened over time till I wanted absolutely nothing to do with the physical aspect of our relationship.
Maybe, the view of the men being more of the victim is more prominent in other areas, but my situation is more common here from experience.
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"...And what a beautiful mess this is
It's like picking up trash in dresses..."
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malone
Platinum
Reged: 12/30/07
Posts: 2039
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[quote] The combination of "no-fault" divorce and "marital property" law is a pernicious and deadly evil, which destroys marriages, and could only have been crafted in Hell, by the Evil One himself! There can rightly be only one or the other, but not both. For infantile fools to believe otherwise is equivalent to wanting to "have your cake and eat it too". [/quote]
Good grief.
That's enough to put anyone off sex. Women included.
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stoltz
Platinum
Reged: 01/29/07
Posts: 1494
Loc: Texas
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==============================================================
That's just sad. If you have reduced making love to 15 minutes without emotion, conversation or bonding, then you deserve your hand...that's not what anyone wants!
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I take it you're not a man. As far as "making love" goes, see below.
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If you don't want a relationship, that's fine--once you decide that it's no one's business but your own.
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Precisely. Now, what was your question? :-)
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But don't confuse sex (what many marriages are reduced to in the end before a divorce) with making love...That's a horse of a different color.
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As I never mentioned "making love" in my post, I think you may be the one that is confused???
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stoltz
Platinum
Reged: 01/29/07
Posts: 1494
Loc: Texas
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saamrodi - I can definitely understand. As I have mentioned on here many times, a lot of what I "preach" is to the "choir". I'd say 99% (or more) of the people who come to this site are the "victims" in their failed/failing relationships, so much of what I say falls on deaf ears. I've accepted that reality when I post here.
However, sometimes there are those who - due to their failed/failing relationships - like to place the blame on their partner in which it isn't so much a single relationship failure as it is outside forces that cause the relationship to fail - like women taking on more traditional male roles. Again, hoorah for them! Only, don't expect a lot of men to celebrate their increasing "liberation" with them. Its hard to draw an analogy, but it would be like men wedging themselves more and more into female roles (some, with the aid of legislation) while at the same time losing much of their masculinity in the process. And, perhaps with this study, we are beginning to witness the cusp of this affect.
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malone
Platinum
Reged: 12/30/07
Posts: 2039
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[quote] ...it isn't so much a single relationship failure as it is outside forces that cause the relationship to fail - like women taking on more traditional male roles. Again, hoorah for them! [/quote]
What do you mean? What are you calling a traditional male role?
Plenty of women on here have had to take on a traditional male role because of divorce or the situation leading up to divorce. They've become the provider for their family because their ex-husband's simply DON'T WANT TO DO the traditional male role of providing.
What's sex got to do with it?
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stoltz
Platinum
Reged: 01/29/07
Posts: 1494
Loc: Texas
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=============================================================
What do you mean? What are you calling a traditional male role?
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Traditional male roles is a broad definition taking on several meanings. One being characteristics, like assertiveness, "breadwinner", disciplinarian, and so one. Another meaning actual positions in society, like a fireman, where guidelines may need to be adjusted in order to facilitate differences in gender physiology, so as not to get sued. Another is with things such as Title 19, DV laws, and child/support - things that give preferential treatment based on gender.
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Plenty of women on here have had to take on a traditional male role because of divorce or the situation leading up to divorce. They've become the provider for their family because their ex-husband's simply DON'T WANT TO DO the traditional male role of providing.
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I don't deny that at all - hence my reply above mentioning 'preaching to the choir' on these boards.
As I alluded to earlier in this thread, men want to "make love" to a woman - not a female with increased masculine characteristics. A man can "have sex" with just about any female, but it takes a WOMAN in order to illicit the psychological/emotional bond within him - and not just during "the act" either, but ALL THE TIME.
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ATVILLAS
Platinum
Reged: 05/12/07
Posts: 2355
Loc: West Palm Beach FL
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stoltz
You seem to be very narrow minded when it comes to women and their abilities, both in the world of commerce and romance.
Perhaps to have been misplaced in a time warp, seems you may fit better in the 40's or 50's era. JMO
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Help someone smile today!!!
Welcome to paradise!!!
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