kent
Platinum
Reged: 06/13/07
Posts: 2993
Loc: a melted glacier
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Not a big deal. Just SIGH. That is all. No pout. ..... Just sigh.
A gal that I will admit that I am interested in, and I SUSPECT is also has some level of interest in me .............
well ...... how do I put this ....... I think for the time being it is best to keep the just friends and only friends basis going.
She is also a member of the divorce roller coaster. She is still in contact with her ex (no kids). It seems that there are some potential complexities there (they communicate OFTEN).
Agreed?
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Today you are You, that is truer than true. There is no one alive who is Youer than You.
Dr. Seuss
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jakandme
Platinum
Reged: 12/30/07
Posts: 569
Loc: on my way up the hill
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It does puzzle me as to why they would stay in communication so often if they have no children? That would be a problem for me, of course cancerians like me are sort of jealous. haha I don't know, I think I would take it slow and steady. I'm trying to right now do that same thing. why is it that after going through the hardship one goes through during this hell ride that when someone comes along and shows interest that we want to snatch it up quicker than mom's pancakes? maybe it's just me? God I hope I don't jump straight into relationship mode with this guy because I still haven't figured out the worst of my role in the break up. oh lord, I didn't mean to hijack with my own little fretting there. sorry....I think you know what you would like to do about it right? Just do it! Ok, was I talking to you or myself with that one? LOL
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What is the future but a mirrored image of the past? Only we can make it better or worse!
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mrpat
Platinum
Reged: 09/12/07
Posts: 2763
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Agreed.
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mfergel
Platinum
Reged: 02/11/08
Posts: 1468
Loc: Richmond, VA
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You know Kent, I have the same thing going. I dated a girl last Tuesday. We had been chatting every day for a week prior. We chatted every day for about 2 or 3 days after and then all the sudden she's been kind of distant. Not sure. I didn't ask her to marry me, etc. I'm not really concerned and I'm fine being friends, whatever, but it was just weird the way she kind of changed.
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Insert witty comment here. 
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ljlost
Platinum
Reged: 09/30/06
Posts: 5382
Loc: HELL
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I agree Kent. There is some reason they are still communicating like that. Im sorry though. But atleast you have a new friend!
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mrpat
Platinum
Reged: 09/12/07
Posts: 2763
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wait till you divorced
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kent
Platinum
Reged: 06/13/07
Posts: 2993
Loc: a melted glacier
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Thanks all. As LJ said - at least I have a new friend. This gal pal is one of my better new friends. We get along very well and understand one another well. A truly valuable friendship.
At this stage of the game to quote a poster who used to use the signature "No drama, no bullsh!t." Right or wrong that is how I am trying to live right now. It is the only way I can at this stage of the game.
Who knows ... given time after she works through whatever she needs to ..... but I am not getting my hopes up (or waiting).
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Today you are You, that is truer than true. There is no one alive who is Youer than You.
Dr. Seuss
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Nish
Platinum
Reged: 02/18/07
Posts: 1394
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Kent,
You are 100% correct to tread cautiously with this woman. Two scenarios come to mind. A. She is still hoping that somehow things will work out for the two of them or B. She is wanting to remain connected and try to avoid a nasty court battle.
I am sure there may be other possible reasons. Whatever it may be, until she has things figured out and shows signs of finally moving on, you don't want to be in the middle of it.
Sure, if you feel like it, offer advice if asked. Don't rush to her rescue. She really needs to do this on her own. You know that all too well. Another person can offer support and encouragement, but at the end of the day, this is her marriage/divorce that she needs to work through and heal from.
Whatever happened to the lady who was going away for a month? What about the new teacher at your school this year, I don't recall an update. Sure, call me noisy, but I am interested and you don't even have to share any intimate details. Just a general summary will do nicely.
You are doing great post divorce and hey, your Iceland trip is not far off now, is it? Remember we want to hear all about that trip of a lifetime, once you get back.
Hugs and Just Keep Being The Great Man You Are!
Nish
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kent
Platinum
Reged: 06/13/07
Posts: 2993
Loc: a melted glacier
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Thanks Nish.
I agree that the whole contact thing is odd. Their divorce, like mine, is FINAL ... so I do not think it has anything to do as a legal ploy. I suspect it is more to do with regret and hope. Not a place I plan to go.
Rush to rescue ----???? me?? a good enabling care giver? Yeah that is what I am making sure I avoid!
As to ....
the very cute (like stare worthy), nice, ... teacher ---- small school, dating at work = bad idea. We talk often. I do believe the attraction is mutual, but dating at my school with a coworker is not a good idea.
As to my friend that went away for a month -- back, but gone on another one. A very busy person. (VERY BUSY). Another good person to develop a nice friendship with (but she does not have the drama ....)
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Today you are You, that is truer than true. There is no one alive who is Youer than You.
Dr. Seuss
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gigi
Platinum
Reged: 11/06/06
Posts: 5176
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She's in a different stage than you are but that doesn't scuttle the whole relationship forever. It just means that you need to know that she is not ready yet, but maybe when she is, you will seill be available.
Eventually, it will settle itself for her just like it does with all of us. Either she will never speak to him again or resolve her lingering issues or maybe jus tget the business part of the divorce over with. OR she will realize that her continued connection with him is making her unable to mvoe on and she'll either explain it to you in a way that makes sense (our parents are best friends forever and we've been business partners & will continue to be forever but he's gay & I've come to terms with that so it's more like he's my brother than anything else, something like thhat)... or she'll cut off contact with him.
But for now, stay her friend, provide support the way you'd do if she were a member here, and remember that ALL of us eventually are ready to move on. It just takes longer for some than it does for others.
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