tired123
Bronze
Reged: 03/09/08
Posts: 25
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I tried to bring up everything what I consider most important - feelings, purpose of marriage, and finally the best thing what two of us have - our children. Appears we're not on the same page. Our conversations ends with very drie and point blank - whatever, or I don't care, just sign the postnup, and everything will be fine. I just really can not believe how can wealth affect some people. It breaks my heart apart . And we had very sweet begining - both worked our but-s of, trusted each other, shared everything we'd have, no thoughts about any prenuptials or so. And you know why - at that point we had just enough. Now I see what happends when money start pouring in between two people...Call me silly, for not knowing how to just shut up , sign pretend nothing happened and enjoy the life. I'm just not that type, I'm very direct and can't tolerate dishonesty, and I miss my husband from 5 years ago.
Is it wrong?
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tired123
Bronze
Reged: 03/09/08
Posts: 25
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Just to give you an idea - I don't have any credit cards (joined account), he just simply canceled everything till I sign( or for good...) All I get 500/week to manage kid's activities, babysitter, food, pets , ect.
And besides all that has enough steam to drop line such as - at least 3 ladies would love to take your place, that's how great your life is.... Who wants to switch with me?:) Thats obnoxious.
Edited by tired123 (05/09/08 11:51 AM)
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JenH03
Platinum
Reged: 02/07/08
Posts: 204
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"All I get 500/week to manage kid's activities, babysitter, food, pets , ect."
So you get about $2,000 a month from him to basically feed your kids and pay for activities and that's not enough? Why would you need to pay a babysitter if you are a stay at home mom? I'm assuming he makes your house payment and pays for your other day to day living expenses (utilities, cars, etc.) so how can that money not be enough? And as far as your other post about your 2 kids from another man, your current husband is not and would be under no obligation to support them if you two separate. Why do you not get child support from their father? That is who should be helping you support them. It is doubtful you'd get $500/week in CS and/or alimony if you left him. You'd only get CS for the two kids that are his, not all 4, and it's not very likely you'd get that much money per week, since it would be based on only two kids, and it's not likely you'd get anything but temporary alimony since you've not been married very long. You'll eventually have to find a way to support yourself.
I'm not saying your husband isn't a jerk for this whole post-nup or I'll divorce you stuff, but you have to have realistic expectations of what could happen.
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Jada
Platinum
Reged: 06/02/07
Posts: 3234
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[quote]Just to give you an idea - I don't have any credit cards (joined account), he just simply canceled everything till I sign( or for good...) All I get 500/week to manage kid's activities, babysitter, food, pets , ect.
And besides all that has enough steam to drop line such as - at least 3 ladies would love to take your place, that's how great your life is.... Who wants to switch with me?:) Thats obnoxious. [/quote]
Well, you can open a credit card account in just your name. He can't close what he isn't authorized to use.
And if your name is on the joint account, you can go and withdraw money from it.
And I would. And take that money and hire yourself a lawyer. Given his attitude, he's doesn't want to be married. He just wants to make sure he gets the settlement he wants before he files.
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Samsung
Platinum
Reged: 06/14/07
Posts: 2019
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"Besides that, all this time I was working for free anyway"
I didn't realize someone would consider raising children a job, to be paid later. I've never considered parenting to be a job, but a privilige to be cherished and done to my best ability. Money has never been a part I've even considered.
As for the 2 stepchildren, they are not his financial responsibility. They are yours, and the father of those children.
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tired123
Bronze
Reged: 03/09/08
Posts: 25
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Why I need a babysitter - definately not because I'm late from one salon to another, I have a little business myself, started it not just to be plain housewife. To make some money and put it a side for my children from previous marriage,since their bio father went down the hill with alcohol abuse,and I'm not that desperate to plea my current husband to put some money into their accounts for the future. And I things like doctors, my oldest modeling job,since she is still 15 - I have to drive her everywhere. We're runing pretty busy schedule, babysitter is a must in our case. But it is good to know different opinions as well, appreciate all of them.
As for accounts, and that bothers me, he closed everything we had joined together, and trying to keep me as short on a leash as he probably imagines. And not painting myself as an angel or mother earth - but I'm not a spender at all, don't remember when I had shopping damage for myself, that's why it hurts. It is all to make me drop the signature, and assure his easy walk away one day. Probably sooner than later. It's just my gut feeling, I'm just confussed, and don't feel like becoming a push over.
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tired123
Bronze
Reged: 03/09/08
Posts: 25
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I agree 100% - children is the purpose of life. I'm just being realistic - then why, even in the court systems, housewife's position is considered as a FULL time job? I do take it as a very responsible job -raising children,unless you would be a hands-off parent.
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tired123
Bronze
Reged: 03/09/08
Posts: 25
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Too late... He filed for divorce...I'm stunned.
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Samsung
Platinum
Reged: 06/14/07
Posts: 2019
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I'll tell you what really concerns me. Here are a couple small parts of your previous posts:
"we're married 5 years, 4 kids later" and "Kids - they absolutely support me and when he pushes me to sign - they are absolutely stunned how their father is over protective and hungry for his money. I don't think they even going to miss him a lot"
Do you realize, that no matter how dedicated you are as a parent, that you could lose custody with what you've done? Make sure you tell you tell your attorney exactly what you've said here, so they can do try to do some damage control measures.
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Jada
Platinum
Reged: 06/02/07
Posts: 3234
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[quote]Too late... He filed for divorce...I'm stunned. [/quote]
Get yourself an attorney. This was what he had planned on. He was just hoping that you would sign the postnup before he filed.
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