tired123
Bronze
Reged: 03/09/08
Posts: 30
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I'm going to met with attorney next Friday, I guess will take from there. As for comment from previous writtings - what damage I've done, to whom? My children know about postnuptial, because it has been said loud, in front of kids. They just make up their own opinion about the situation. Should I still try to paint my husband as a very honest, genuine person? They see it , I can not lie to them, my husband tells if your mom does not sign - we will have to divorce! And he did. My gut feeling never lies...
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Samsung
Platinum
Reged: 06/14/07
Posts: 2222
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Maybe I'm misunderstanding your posts. Haven't you been married for 5 years, and have 4 kids? Aren't they all then under 5 years old?
They should no nothing about any of it. If they heard about it, they shouldn't know what a postnuptial is, unless it was explained to them (and it shouldn't have been).
"Should I still try to paint my husband as a very honest, genuine person? They see it , I can not lie to them"
So, are you going to tell them your favorite sexual position? Or, how much you get paid on a job? No! Some things are not told to kids. What you may not realize, is that when you paint either parent in a negative light (even if deserved), it is damaging to kids. Go to google, and read about parental alienation syndrome.
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tired123
Bronze
Reged: 03/09/08
Posts: 30
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Fortunately I have 15yr.old, 8 , toddler and a baby. As you'd assume older children fully aware of situation and understand more than I'd imagine. This hurts them. Besides he was trying all this time to be a great dad, but since he got married late in life - it is some lack of parenting skills, and he often lets his steam(built up over stressful businessman day) go on the kids, and sadly on the stepkids, older ones. This I can not tolerate, that's how we got where we are + a lot of other issues, sexual possitions has nothing to do in this case, I'd appreciate if this irony would be kept asside.
Edited by tired123 (05/10/08 11:51 AM)
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jbar
Platinum
Reged: 12/16/06
Posts: 1075
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===========================================================
...why, even in the court systems, housewife's position is considered as a FULL time job?
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Because it was, one hundred years ago, when these laws were written. In those times a woman had no modern, work-saving conveniences and appliances, had an average of six children in the house and usually had to get up at 5AM to milk the cows and make breakfast for "the hands"! Politicians will never reform a law in any way which reduces any "giving" to anyone. This is because they consider the people (perhaps rightly) to be morons who never stop to think that the courts don't have anything, to "give" to anyone, until or unless they first take it away from someone else!
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Too late... He filed for divorce...I'm stunned.
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Well, you had it made and you blew it. Now you will find out in what way(s) he has protected himself and his assets.
You traded known security and his acceptance of his understood, and clearly agreed, obligations to you for the miasma of divorce and false visions of grandeur--all because of greed. In the event that the divorce is "bitter", and he believes that he was "screwed", I wouldn't want to be in your shoes.
Edited by jbar (05/11/08 02:17 AM)
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Jada
Platinum
Reged: 06/02/07
Posts: 3499
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[quote]Fortunately I have 15yr.old, 8 , toddler and a baby. As you'd assume older children fully aware of situation and understand more than I'd imagine. This hurts them. Besides he was trying all this time to be a great dad, but since he got married late in life - it is some lack of parenting skills, and he often lets his steam(built up over stressful businessman day) go on the kids, and sadly on the stepkids, older ones. This I can not tolerate, that's how we got where we are + a lot of other issues, sexual possitions has nothing to do in this case, I'd appreciate if this irony would be kept asside. [/quote]
I am sorry that you are going through this and that your stbx is being a greedy jerk.
I would gather copies of bank statements, w-2 forms, tax returns and start putting together a list of the household items that are valuable. Take a picture of them and catalog them, make sure that the date shows on the picture.
Your stbx sounds greedy enough to have hidden marital assets or to start trying to do that.
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EZmark
Platinum
Reged: 06/04/07
Posts: 292
Loc: Florida
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"Besides that, all this time I was working for free anyway"
You are not entitled to leach off their father now because in the past you bore children and took care of them with his $2000 a month while he took care of you. You better figure out how to support yourself now. Go play your poor mommy card in court, it sounds like he was smart enough to have prepared to fight your greed. If half the time with the kids and half the assets are not enough I hope you get what you deserve, which will be a significantly less than half now after the long upcoming legalities. And keep up the alienation too, the kids will be better off with him when they get older and realize what you are.
You are a good candidate for mediation if he has already presented offers. Accept half in mediation. Make plan for re-entering work force and littles one's care WITH dad. Move on amicably for everyone's sake. Don't make your kids suffer through it.
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tired123
Bronze
Reged: 03/09/08
Posts: 30
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Poor mommy card? That is quite sad expression. I might be stunned, but definately don't consider myself that low. I believe I did right choise not signing any postnuptial. And it is not difficult for me to be "poor but proud", that is how I was raised, so I rather keep my head up, get what I will get, and go on with my life. I could not live knowing my husband pushed me to my limit, and made me do something I'd later regret. On another hand I'm glad problem is solved. He can make someone else sign anything he wants.I'm done with ultimatums.
Edited by tired123 (05/11/08 11:52 AM)
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KGrow
Platinum
Reged: 01/27/06
Posts: 3153
Loc: Colorado
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Tired, I admire your grace here. You have a good head. Good luck. Let us know if you need any help with divorce issues. It sounds like it will be a bit complicated and contentious.
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tired123
Bronze
Reged: 03/09/08
Posts: 30
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thank you all guys, for support...I'll be back, to unwind...:)And get some good advices. And sarcastic ones as well:)
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tired123
Bronze
Reged: 03/09/08
Posts: 30
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Well, divorce sucks, big time. I wish I'd be tougher, but not I'm not. It was pretty hard to read these papers. Is it just me, or most people go through that emotional stage? It hurts somehow...I'm not sure how to deal with all that. The most important, we are divorcing over such a stupid issues, nobody cheated or did something really bad. It's just situation - more money, less trust... It's SAD.
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