tiredofnagging
Gold
Reged: 05/09/08
Posts: 190
Loc: Las Vegas, NV USA
|
|
OK, I'm married almost 15 years, 1 child (age 8, a daughter whom I adore!). I no longer love my wife; she has been browbeating me for years and I'm just plain frigin tired of it. Aside from the monetary and property issues, I happen to want my daughter. She is adopted and my family paid all the costs, however regardless, I love her and I want to raise her even if by myself. Do judges rule for the mother in most cases other than demonstrated abuse by the mother?
Just one question out of many I'm sure they'll be.....
|
Jada
Platinum
Reged: 06/02/07
Posts: 3499
|
|
[quote]OK, I'm married almost 15 years, 1 child (age 8, a daughter whom I adore!). I no longer love my wife; she has been browbeating me for years and I'm just plain frigin tired of it. Aside from the monetary and property issues, I happen to want my daughter. She is adopted and my family paid all the costs, however regardless, I love her and I want to raise her even if by myself. Do judges rule for the mother in most cases other than demonstrated abuse by the mother?
Just one question out of many I'm sure they'll be..... [/quote]
If both of you want primary custody, then there is going to be a costly court battle. You are better off coming to an agreement with your wife, because you aren't going to get full custody unless you can prove that the mother is unfit. Just like she won't get full custody unless she can prove you unfit.
It would help if we know what state. Most states have joint legal custody, only 5 have a presumption of joint physical custody.
It doesn't matter who paid the costs of the adoption. You are the father and your wife is the mother, period.
|
tiredofnagging
Gold
Reged: 05/09/08
Posts: 190
Loc: Las Vegas, NV USA
|
|
That may be the good news, I live in Nevada. So when it's time, the whole thing should go down quickly.
I hear you about my daughter and that's what I figured.......so if I want to be a single Dad I've got to prove that my wife is unfit. That may be a task except she's threatened to leave "both of us" recently. Maybe the thing to do is get things like that on tape.
|
tookway2much
Platinum
Reged: 03/31/08
Posts: 627
Loc: Going toward the light!
|
|
Honey, be careful. Since you are the one wanting out, wife could become agitated and attempt to use your daughter to hurt you. My s2bx and I also adopted a daughter. I love her more than my own life. My s2bx does things to hurt her because at times he can't get to me.
Get you a good layer, a very good one. And be prepared for the fight of your life,
--------------------
I don't worry about the people in my past. There is a reason they are not in my future.
|
tiredofnagging
Gold
Reged: 05/09/08
Posts: 190
Loc: Las Vegas, NV USA
|
|
[quote]Honey, be careful. Since you are the one wanting out, wife could become agitated and attempt to use your daughter to hurt you. My s2bx and I also adopted a daughter. I love her more than my own life. My s2bx does things to hurt her because at times he can't get to me.
Get you a good layer, a very good one. And be prepared for the fight of your life, [/quote]
TY for your reply. I don't believe she would do that; she is a good person. Fact is, I do not love her anymore and I believe the feeling is mutual. Guess we keep going out of habit or maybe comfort level. Maybe for our daughter.
Secondly and FWIW, there has never been infidelity on my part and I would bet on hers either. Just "irreconcileable differences I guess. I do find myself fantasizing of life without her and I gotta admit, it sounds good. I suppose counseling may be in order but I don't see my feelings changing so why waste the time and money. There is no attraction anymore.
So I am in a major bind. Now I realize why they call it the "Institute of Marriage". Send me to the nearest institute.
--------------------
This Too Shall Pass
|
taryn
Platinum
Reged: 05/31/07
Posts: 2509
Loc: standing on the mountaintop! :...
|
|
[quote] Aside from the monetary and property issues, I happen to want my daughter. She is adopted and my family paid all the costs, however regardless, I love her and I want to raise her even if by myself. [/quote]
okay.
dont EVER let your little girl hear this line of reasoning.
she will feel bought and paid for.
and revamp your thought process in that arena!
that is NOT healthy for anyone!
try this line of thinking: if im getting a divorce my medical insurance company should have primary custody because they paid for most of the birth.
doesnt even make sense! See?
whatever means a child is brought into a family is how that child is brought into the family. and from there on it's in the past.
as for the rest....good luck.
is there ANY chance of saving this marriage?
irreconcialbe differences arent really worth the hell you, your wife, or you little girl will go through as a result of the divorce.
--------------------
taryn.
Edited by taryn (05/13/08 04:44 PM)
|
Jada
Platinum
Reged: 06/02/07
Posts: 3499
|
|
[quote]That may be the good news, I live in Nevada. So when it's time, the whole thing should go down quickly.
I hear you about my daughter and that's what I figured.......so if I want to be a single Dad I've got to prove that my wife is unfit. That may be a task except she's threatened to leave "both of us" recently. Maybe the thing to do is get things like that on tape. [/quote]
I threatened to leave everybody when I was still married. Usually when the kids were really acting up. I didn't mean it.
Unless she actually abandons her child, you aren't going to be raising the child by yourself. And if your wife is the primary caregiver, her chances of being the custodial parent is good.
Nothing you have posted proves the mother unfit.
|
juliacinaz
Platinum
Reged: 02/03/08
Posts: 961
|
|
Nothing you have posted proves the mother unfit. [/quote]
However I feel most of what you posted did not make you appear as a good person or parent. So basically you are done with your wife now but you still want the sweet child you bought? Unreal...I hope she gets custody. Maybe a long hard look in the mirror is in order? Just my opinion of course. I found the entire thread offensive. Have you any idea how emotionally and financially devastating divorce is on both parties? How emotionally difficult it is on children? Dang! Now I want to brow beat you too!
|
Jada
Platinum
Reged: 06/02/07
Posts: 3499
|
|
[quote
I threatened to leave everybody when I was still married. Usually when the kids were really acting up. I didn't mean it. [/quote]
Clarification, the above was never said to the kids. Just to ex after the kids went to bed. And he knew I wasn't serious about it.
|
EZmark
Platinum
Reged: 06/04/07
Posts: 292
Loc: Florida
|
|
+1! "Get you a good layer, a very good one. And be prepared for the fight of your life"
I would add start making financial preps-discuss with lawyer.
She's abusive and you want to get away from her and be fair right? Soon she'll get abusive to the kid too, then you'll have to do something. She doesn't sound like a good person, you better start making preps yesterday or bad momma gonna get long term alimony, assets and the kid w/15 yrs. + leave you with nuttin. You got a lot of money to fight? Settle fast if no or you gonna have financial ruin long after expensive fight, maybe run out of $ near the end and fold. Prepare to be "softened up" with all sorts of actics making you think "it's best for the kid".
Forget about proving mamma abusive, judge doesn't care. You need to prove your own worth, the best you can hope for is 50% and that is unlikely. Don't mix money in with the kids in any way, not in the same thought or paragraph. She can do that but you can't! Be very careful, have a witness around. Good luck, first line has best advice. Ask him his plan to win in an interview and interview several. martindale.com
|
Previous
Index
Next
Threaded
Edit
Reply
Quote
