Beat-Down
Platinum
Reged: 08/20/07
Posts: 207
Loc: Texas
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Ok my X informed me that her BF is down for a few days. She said that she picked him up from the airport last night and he doesn’t have a vehicle here. She told me that he will be coming with her to drop of the kids this afternoon. I know, I know, I know-this shouldn't be a problem. I got into a huge fight with this guy a bout 2-1/2 years ago. I went to jail but the charges were later dropped. I have never been in any kind of trouble before. He is the guy that she was having an affair with my wife. I really can’t stand him and I really don't want him coming to my home. Should I just suck it up and not let this bother me? I know that it is the right thing to do. The guy doesn’t know when to be quite and doesn’t make the best of decisions at times. He has a very bad temper. I also have a lot of inner anger towards him for all the crap he has done. And yes I know it takes two to tango so it isn’t completely his fault.
Now that I have vented a little. What should I do?
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Don't stop until it sounds expensive!
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Solorider
Platinum
Reged: 02/23/07
Posts: 707
Loc: At the bottom of the bucket.
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Tell your ex to tell him to stay in the car and not set foot on your property or you will have him arrested for trespassing. don't say a word to him...act like he's not even there.
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ATVILLAS
Platinum
Reged: 05/12/07
Posts: 2284
Loc: Lost in the post D maze!!
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If they are just dropping the kids off, suggest to your EX that the BF remain in the car!
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Help someone smile today!!!
Welcome to paradise!!!
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Beat-Down
Platinum
Reged: 08/20/07
Posts: 207
Loc: Texas
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She said that he wouldnt get out of the car. I know this is common and isn’t that big of a deal. It just aggravates me that she would bring him to the house that we built together. My feelings are hurt and I feel like she is rubbing it in my face. I know it is childish.
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Don't stop until it sounds expensive!
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Solorider
Platinum
Reged: 02/23/07
Posts: 707
Loc: At the bottom of the bucket.
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[quote]She said that he wouldnt get out of the car. I know this is common and isn’t that big of a deal. It just aggravates me that she would bring him to the house that we built together. My feelings are hurt and I feel like she is rubbing it in my face. I know it is childish. [/quote]
Well, you got the house didn't you? and he got her...who's winner in this one? You are.
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ssrachel
Platinum
Reged: 05/23/07
Posts: 1966
Loc: bottom of a pit
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i know it's frustrating! my stbx always brings the gf/ow to pick up or drop off my kids. he brings her to school functions and sports activities. he has her write the infrequent support checks. yes, it bothers the shit out of me, but i don't let on to him. i just vent to friends or here. don't let her know it bothers you. take the high road. remember, you are better than that!
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What you reap is what you sow and so it goes...
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mfergel
Platinum
Reged: 02/11/08
Posts: 1347
Loc: Richmond, VA
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[quote]Well, you got the house didn't you? and he got her...who's winner in this one? You are. [/quote]
I guess that's all how you look at it. Since the separation, I've come to feel that material goods really don't mean much to me anymore.
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Here I am ladies.......come and get me. :-)
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Beat-Down
Platinum
Reged: 08/20/07
Posts: 207
Loc: Texas
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mfergel- I sometimes feel that way to. Occasionally I think that I would give up anything to just have my family back. But then I realize what all she did to me and how she treated me for no good reason. When I think about all that I wouldn't change a thing.
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Don't stop until it sounds expensive!
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happytobdivorced
Platinum
Reged: 03/15/07
Posts: 1083
Loc: Hell, USA
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I don't know how old your kids are-but if they are old enough to get out of the car and walk to your door-let them. If they are small-tell your ex to walk them to the door and if the bf gets out of the car-you will call the law and file a restraining order.
I know none of that changes how you feel. But try not to 'feel' just deal with what is necessary-and only that. No small talk, no arguing, you don't even have to look at her-nothing. Use 'NO CONTACT'.
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Message for my ex "I think you know by now, I'm not the person I used to be"
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Sarah1014
Platinum
Reged: 04/12/07
Posts: 2221
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She's the loser in all of this. She chose HIM and ended up with him. Take the high road and pretend he's not there.
You would be eating out of his hand if you reacted in any other way.
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