Beat-Down
Platinum
Reged: 08/20/07
Posts: 207
Loc: Texas
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Ok my X informed me that her BF is down for a few days. She said that she picked him up from the airport last night and he doesn’t have a vehicle here. She told me that he will be coming with her to drop of the kids this afternoon. I know, I know, I know-this shouldn't be a problem. I got into a huge fight with this guy a bout 2-1/2 years ago. I went to jail but the charges were later dropped. I have never been in any kind of trouble before. He is the guy that she was having an affair with my wife. I really can’t stand him and I really don't want him coming to my home. Should I just suck it up and not let this bother me? I know that it is the right thing to do. The guy doesn’t know when to be quite and doesn’t make the best of decisions at times. He has a very bad temper. I also have a lot of inner anger towards him for all the crap he has done. And yes I know it takes two to tango so it isn’t completely his fault.
Now that I have vented a little. What should I do?
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Don't stop until it sounds expensive!
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Solorider
Platinum
Reged: 02/23/07
Posts: 707
Loc: At the bottom of the bucket.
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Tell your ex to tell him to stay in the car and not set foot on your property or you will have him arrested for trespassing. don't say a word to him...act like he's not even there.
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ATVILLAS
Platinum
Reged: 05/12/07
Posts: 2283
Loc: Lost in the post D maze!!
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If they are just dropping the kids off, suggest to your EX that the BF remain in the car!
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Help someone smile today!!!
Welcome to paradise!!!
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Beat-Down
Platinum
Reged: 08/20/07
Posts: 207
Loc: Texas
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She said that he wouldnt get out of the car. I know this is common and isn’t that big of a deal. It just aggravates me that she would bring him to the house that we built together. My feelings are hurt and I feel like she is rubbing it in my face. I know it is childish.
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Don't stop until it sounds expensive!
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Solorider
Platinum
Reged: 02/23/07
Posts: 707
Loc: At the bottom of the bucket.
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[quote]She said that he wouldnt get out of the car. I know this is common and isn’t that big of a deal. It just aggravates me that she would bring him to the house that we built together. My feelings are hurt and I feel like she is rubbing it in my face. I know it is childish. [/quote]
Well, you got the house didn't you? and he got her...who's winner in this one? You are.
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ssrachel
Platinum
Reged: 05/23/07
Posts: 1953
Loc: bottom of a pit
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i know it's frustrating! my stbx always brings the gf/ow to pick up or drop off my kids. he brings her to school functions and sports activities. he has her write the infrequent support checks. yes, it bothers the shit out of me, but i don't let on to him. i just vent to friends or here. don't let her know it bothers you. take the high road. remember, you are better than that!
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Live well. It is the greatest revenge.
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mfergel
Platinum
Reged: 02/11/08
Posts: 1324
Loc: Richmond, VA
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[quote]Well, you got the house didn't you? and he got her...who's winner in this one? You are. [/quote]
I guess that's all how you look at it. Since the separation, I've come to feel that material goods really don't mean much to me anymore.
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Here I am ladies.......come and get me. :-)
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Beat-Down
Platinum
Reged: 08/20/07
Posts: 207
Loc: Texas
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mfergel- I sometimes feel that way to. Occasionally I think that I would give up anything to just have my family back. But then I realize what all she did to me and how she treated me for no good reason. When I think about all that I wouldn't change a thing.
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Don't stop until it sounds expensive!
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happytobdivorced
Platinum
Reged: 03/15/07
Posts: 1057
Loc: Hell, USA
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I don't know how old your kids are-but if they are old enough to get out of the car and walk to your door-let them. If they are small-tell your ex to walk them to the door and if the bf gets out of the car-you will call the law and file a restraining order.
I know none of that changes how you feel. But try not to 'feel' just deal with what is necessary-and only that. No small talk, no arguing, you don't even have to look at her-nothing. Use 'NO CONTACT'.
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Message for my ex "I think you know by now, I'm not the person I used to be"
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Sarah1014
Platinum
Reged: 04/12/07
Posts: 2165
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She's the loser in all of this. She chose HIM and ended up with him. Take the high road and pretend he's not there.
You would be eating out of his hand if you reacted in any other way.
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Beat-Down
Platinum
Reged: 08/20/07
Posts: 207
Loc: Texas
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It stinks because we have been geting along much better while he has been out of state. Is there anyone here from Georgia? Maybe you could hook em up with someone really special while he is there. Just joshing- I wouldn't wish him on my worst enemy
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Don't stop until it sounds expensive!
Edited by Beat-Down (05/14/08 12:59 PM)
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mistake#2
Platinum
Reged: 07/19/06
Posts: 3068
Loc: Florida
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Practice ignoring him on his level...instead create a business like persona that you would have if you were having to get stinky cheese from the local deli.
I have to talk to the OW all the time, as my ex married her and lets her handle everything from finances to visitation...I get to listen to my son call her mom. It takes time, but you can get to a point where you feel nothing for the act they did. If they are idiots to boot, then that can sometimes make it easier to deal with too.
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**5 weeks to go**
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mrpat
Platinum
Reged: 09/12/07
Posts: 2606
Loc: Michigan
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Wish I lived by you. I'd come over and beat his azz for you. Your ex is a dipsh!t.
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People don't care how much you know.........until they know how much you care.
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Beat-Down
Platinum
Reged: 08/20/07
Posts: 207
Loc: Texas
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Well I have already learned that he doesn’t catch on to the Azzz whooping thing to well. Slow learner. The panty waist called the cops on me last time. He got exactly what we deserved and then had the gawl to file charges on me. It is a good thing that I have learned my lesson. He isn’t worth it and neither is she.
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Don't stop until it sounds expensive!
Edited by Beat-Down (05/14/08 01:29 PM)
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Beat-Down
Platinum
Reged: 08/20/07
Posts: 207
Loc: Texas
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Ok I told her that it was fine if he rode with her to drop the kids off. I said it was no problem at all and it didnt bother me. I told her that I would be inside and to just send the kids to the door when they got there. I live in the country and the kids are plenty old enough to walk to the door by them selves. I had to my tongue. OUCH!! GRRRRRRR.
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Don't stop until it sounds expensive!
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HardKnox
Platinum
Reged: 06/13/07
Posts: 2590
Loc: Wisconsin
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Well, you COULD choose that moment to clean the ol' shotgun out on the porch while you're waiting. Usually just one good *ka-schlick* of a pump-action Winchester 1300 gets their attention. Not a good idea to play with firearms in front of the youngsters, however.
Or, you COULD pound the living crap out of him again. And end up in prison. Somebody's girlfriend. Ow....your butt.
Or you COULD just ignore the loser(s). Demonstrate to them youngsters your maturity and good sense in dealing with an extremely difficult situation.
I remember your original post BD.
I'm sure you'll do the right thing.
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Beat-Down
Platinum
Reged: 08/20/07
Posts: 207
Loc: Texas
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HK- You know I will do the right thing. My kids are the very most important thing to me. How they are raised and the things that they are exposed two are also very important. I would never let them see anything negative from me. It's all good and this to shall pass.
Thank you all for listening to me rant this morning. I am better now, I think! <smiles>
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Don't stop until it sounds expensive!
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picasso
Platinum
Reged: 09/16/07
Posts: 1839
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If your kids are going to be there, I highly suggest that you dont let them see daddy acting like a jerk.
IT isnt their fault, and remember, they can only have ONE dad....show them that you love them by swallowing your pride for a few minutes.
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NO FATE
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tookway2much
Platinum
Reged: 03/31/08
Posts: 619
Loc: Going toward the light!
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Next time.......... I'll come down and hide in the bushes. You take the children inside. I'll jump out in front of the car. When she stops< I'll grab her out of the car, smack her face, and bite his big nose.......... yeah, yeah, that's a plan.
It's not a matter of jealousy, it's a matter of being disrespected.
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I don't worry about the people in my past. There is a reason they are not in my future.
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