Divorce Support Forums: mother refuses to cooperate

Ok,when they were together,my son had an accident that left him brain injured.At the time they were headed for divorce anyway but it looked like they would work things out.My son,although brain injury persons never are the same,made a real good recovery.Every time that a problem came up ,if we suggested that it was the brain injury she claimed it wasnt,that he was like that before the accident and that he was using the brain injury to get sympathy.She made little effort to help him recover and she let him drink,wouldnt insist on him taking his medication and she even allowed him to drive knowing these were things that he wasnt supose to do for at least a year afterwards.
Now ,she is saying that because of his brain injury he isnt fit to take care of the children alone.She has had complete control of things for the three years that they have been seperated and she has made it a living hell.When they first seperated she agreed to joint custody because she had no proof that he wasnt fit and he was alloed to have the kids alone,take them places,do things with them and he did great.But at some point she decided she wasnt going to cooperate anymore and she told me that she would just tell the courts that she didnt know he wasnt released to drive and that he wasnt taking his medicine or seeing his doctor anymore.She has told people that he was abusive and that she didnt want to be alone with him although she was alone when he would come to her house to visit with the kids.
She has allowed her brothers to call him and make threats to him and even her boyfreind has threatened him.She has told the school that he isnt allowed to take the kids from school,he isnt alloed to take them anywhere alone and she even withheld the kids from him until he signed a paper saying he agreed to supervised visits.The paper was typed on the computer and signed by him without her there or a lawyer or even filed of any sort.{his lawyer threw it in the garbage when he gave a copy of it}
He has paid child support alhtough there is no order and he has done what she has demanded of him for the last htree years.He found another doctor ,started taking his medicine and the doctor released him to drive,But she says that wasnt good enough because it is a different doctor and this doctor doesnt know how things were before.{dah,the doctor has his records from the last doctor}.The stbx found out it will cost her to get the records from the old doctor.
Since the accident,my son had went back to work 6 months afterwards and he was even made manager of his department.he was driving full time about the same amount time.Although he will never again be the same ,physically he has made a full recovery and he functions just fine.
I have been watching the granddaughters since birth and I know more than I care to know.At one point I became really good friends with the Stbx and she trusted me fully.I knew every move she was going to make and when she told me she was going to lie in court I deflated and lost all respect for her.She wants to claim my son is not fit for things that she herself is guilty of...
She never has the kids on the weekend that is supose to be hers.I make the doctors appointments for the kids and take them 90% of the time.In fact I do 90% of the kids that the mother should do but wont because she has something else to do.Now in the past 6 months it has been a boyfreind in the picture.A boy that she met when he was two weeks out of prison for theft,possesion and assault.A boy that ask her to marry him on valentines day and now she tells the kids he will be the stepdaddy.She tells me he helps her make decisions about the kids.{and she cant understand why my son is angry and dont want the boy to be a part of the childrens lives at all}.She pays no attention to the kids when the boy is around and she moved him in just a week after he met the kids.
She has always left food in the sink foe days at a time ,she has let the kids sleep in beds they have peed in,she lets the dog sleep with the kids and for about a month now she has allowed the kids to sllep in the floor in the living room.The children get bath only if she feels like it and she forgets to give them their medicine at tmes.She has almost caught the house on fire because she forgot about something cooking while she was on the phone with the boy.She even had the boy come to the school when the children had a fitting for danceline outfits because my son was there.The boy came in so fast he was sideways in the school parking lot.When they were leaving the boy put the children in his car and was going to drive them home but since she wont allow my son to drive the children down the drive he wasnt about to let the boy take them anywhere alone.They argued in the parking lot.The boy pushed my son around and my son told him he was about to get an a** whopping.Now the boy is trying press charges against my son for a threat.{just something she can use in court because the law told her she couldnt press charges}
She isnt around to see how well my son takes care of the kids yet she feels she will get full custody.She feels as if she has it now because she says so although there is no order of any kind for anything.She says when she went to see her lawyer last she forgot to ask about temp custody.NOBODY FORGETS THAT...And the real kicker is this....If something was to happen to her she wants to have it fixed so that the boy gets the kids.Not the father,not me,not even her mother whom she adores,but the boy that she has known for 6months.I told as it is now that the kids would automatically go to my son and she says it wont because the judge will not allow it.
She has us all on pins and needles because she has already tol us if we go against her we will only get to see the kids on our sons weekends as oposed to every day like it is now.My son hasnt had a vacation with the children in three years,yet she has taken them out of state many times for vacation.She gets the holidays she chooses and always gets christmas eve and christmas day.She thinks it is her right as a mother and the father comes second or third,whichever she thinks at the time.
I must go now,I will finish this later.What do you think so far.