Sarah1115
New
Reged: 05/17/08
Posts: 3
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I thought my ex and I had a great arrangement... We did a self-divorce (no lawyers) about 3 years ago and decided to split time and expenses with our son 50-50. It worked for a while! Then my ex started getting serious with his current wife 2.5 years ago, and since has not been paying for our son's medical bills, daycare, prescriptions, or school expenses - to the tune of over $3000 (that's only his half!!!). He's strung me along over the years - promising to pay daycare (only to let it fall $400 behind) or promising to pay me $100/month (only lasted 1 month). Thankfully, my current husband is man enough to not bat an eyelash when it comes to financial support of our children! Now my X's new wife insists on being a part of all the financial decisions... I think she MAKES all the financial decisions because she told me - I have it in writing - that paying me back for my son's expenses is a very low priority for her... and since she entered the picture, I haven't been getting paid. Unfortunately, I make more money than my X does, so pursuing this through the court system would probably do nothing but earn me a monthly child support payment. Does anyone know - will the Kansas Child Support Enforcement help me recover the $3000 he owes? I don't want child support or change the parenting plan - I just want what is owed to me. If not - who can I count on? What should I do??? Note - I have documentation (statements and receipts) for all $3000 owed to me. Thank you!!!!!
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infinity386
Gold
Reged: 02/24/08
Posts: 131
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Questions...
1. Whats your current custody arrangement?
2. Does he pay child support or do you two split all your expenses 50/50?
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Jada
Platinum
Reged: 06/02/07
Posts: 3494
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If there is a court order that says he has to pay half of the medical expenses and daycare costs you can check with them to see if they will collect them for you if you submit the receipts to them.
If it's in the court order, you can always file contempt of court against your ex compelling him to pay.
How much more do you make than him? If you are going by what the two of you were making at the time of divorce, that may no longer be accurate.
Anyway, if it isn't that much more than him, he may end up paying you child support if you are the one who is paying for health insurance and childcare costs. Those amounts are add-ons to child support.
Who has the tax exemption? And is it tied into him being current on all of his financial obligations to you? If not, I would file for a modification to add that to the court order. That alone may be an incentive to him to keep current.
Personally, I would consult with an attorney, s/he should know if the agency that collects child support will collect for the medical expenses.
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KGrow
Platinum
Reged: 01/27/06
Posts: 3153
Loc: Colorado
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"I make more money than my X does, so pursuing this through the court system would probably do nothing but earn me a monthly child support payment."
In most states, child support obligation is proportional to income (and inversely proportional to parenting time). It could be that the current state of affairs is a fair deal in this light.
I'd look at Jada's questions and make your own assessment of it. Don't fight if there's nothing to be gained.
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Samsung
Platinum
Reged: 06/14/07
Posts: 2222
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Your ex is in the wrong, and you would prevail if you took court action. At the same time, he is within his right to ask for child support, so you would most likely pay many times over would you would get if you went to court. You can get an estimate of what child support would be at allaw.com.
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theanswerguy
Platinum
Reged: 04/12/07
Posts: 2304
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Does anyone know - will the Kansas Child Support Enforcement help me recover the $3000 he owes? I don't want child support or change the parenting plan - I just want what is owed to me. If not - who can I count on? What should I do??? Note - I have documentation (statements and receipts) for all $3000 owed to me.
>>>>>>>>>> Kansas CSE will only enforce repayment for the debt after it has been reduced to a sum certain judgement ( you'll need to go to court to do this ) . A request for repayment is certain to trigger a modification request and with the larger income , you'll most likely end up owing him CS . The Kansas CS guidelines can be found here :
http://www.kscourts.org/Rules-procedures-forms/Child-Support-Guidelines/default.asp
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Never let your sense of morals get in the way of doing what's right. Isaac Asimov
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Sarah1115
New
Reged: 05/17/08
Posts: 3
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Our current custody arrangement is that we split our son't time 50/50. We live close enough that we alternate days during the week and alternate weekends.
Neither of us pays child support. In lieu of that, we agreed to split expenses.
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Sarah1115
New
Reged: 05/17/08
Posts: 3
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The divorce decree states that we agree to split costs for the care of our son.
I'm guessing I make roughly about $20-25K more than him annually.
Also, we alternate claiming our son every year at income tax time. I suppose I should be thankful that I got to claim our son during the year of the economic stimulus package!
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Determined_Dad
Silver
Reged: 02/02/07
Posts: 92
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Unfortunally, the only way to resolve your issue would be to take it to court. If he's not voluntarily giving you the money based on your agreement, then there's no other option.
However, it sounds like you have been getting the better side of the deal anyways. Basically, if you are making $25,000 more than him, and custody is 50/50, then you would owe child support. In order for your child to benifit from the income that both parents make in an income share model, then you would be entitled to pay him money. Not only would you have to pay him, but he would no longer be entitled to pay half. But instead, only a % based on yours/his total income. You may be better off eating the $3,000 as it appears you'd by much more than that in the long run. However, most people in this group would be quick to state - your getting out of paying child support that your child is entitled to - so your only hurting your child by going around the system.
Just for fun, I ran a senerio in the Tennessee Child Support worksheet, which may or may not be similar to Kansas's system, but if you made $65,000 and he made $40,000, and there were no child care expenses involved, then you would have to pay him $260 /month in child support.
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EZmark
Platinum
Reged: 06/04/07
Posts: 292
Loc: Florida
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He owes you $3000, you say. Guidelines say you owe him $260 monthly for 3 years =$ 9,360, and by % reduce the 3K by 20% to $2400. Balance you owe is $7,000 and his support gets reduced. I say you you go to court and get it modified to what is actually fair and best for your son since you are making more money and only have expenses 50% of the time. You can trade the $7,000 for paying the attorney fees. Judge can't vary the guidelines more than 5% without extraordinary circumstances. Miscalculations on the guidelines worksheet are straightforward basis for motion/modification, I'm surprised he hasn't filed yet he has an easy case.
I sense you're anger at the lack of true justice but it's a wash, IMO any "victory" would be hollow. There is no mommy card to play as it's just about numbers and you've singed off on everything else. CS is always modifiable.
You were obviously decent and level headed enough at one time to agree to shared custody and avoid a destructive court battle, you may have to swallow hard and do it again. and again.
It's a lot better than what I have to live with.
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