mfergel
Platinum
Reged: 02/11/08
Posts: 1201
Loc: Virginia
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Personally, I think my ex has trashed herself by essentially jumping into a relationship the minute I was out the door. People will figure it out on their own, unless of course she's trashing me and telling them something else.
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This space for rent. :-)
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stoltz
Platinum
Reged: 01/29/07
Posts: 1359
Loc: Texas
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What's that saying about keeping your enemies closer?
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mfergel
Platinum
Reged: 02/11/08
Posts: 1201
Loc: Virginia
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[quote]What's that saying about keeping your enemies closer? [/quote]
All the more reason to go to that birthday party with the wifes friends.
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This space for rent. :-)
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chatter box
Platinum
Reged: 11/09/07
Posts: 968
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I try not to trash except on here. I think I do a good job but I'm sure there is always room for improvements though. I get so tired of spending my day just trying to repair the damage she does by trashing me. I've been on the phone all day trying to straighten out all the medical mess she has created, the teacher's frustration in dealing with her and my daughters psychologiest dealing with the X and that is just today. I've had to explain myself to cops, my wifes X, friends, landords, boss's, CPS and countless others just because of her trashing me. I've tried over and over to just be civil and I'm tired of it. Didn't mean to ramble or still the thread I'm just PI$$ED OFF.
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juliacinaz
Platinum
Reged: 02/03/08
Posts: 335
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[quote] I've had to explain myself to cops, my wifes X, friends, landords, boss's, CPS and countless others just because of her trashing me. [/quote]
My ex trashed me in the court documents; to all our friends and family and neighbors. To this day I think he convinced himself there was truth in some of it. He sat in court with his brain injury and all telling the judge he was the premium parent and I was not worthy of any alone time with our child. Can you imagine? I just sat there shaking my head as the judge ripped his head off. What comes around goes around. Give them enough rope and they will hang themselves.
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taryn
Platinum
Reged: 05/31/07
Posts: 1870
Loc: Hell...but im coming back up, ...
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my stbx tried to say everything i filed against him was a lie.
over time his behavior is following him.
he's not quite getting caught,
but i know when things are not all 'hunky dory' the gf says the SAME things about him that i did.
he's back to drinking and a bit of whoring here and there.
while none of it's documented yet....i figure give it time...
as for the kids,
yeah. i HOPE They dont find out who their dad really is,
but they are figuring out the jist simply in his relationship with them.
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taryn.
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scbeck
Platinum
Reged: 12/29/07
Posts: 603
Loc: New Brunswick Canada
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[quote][quote] I've had to explain myself to cops, my wifes X, friends, landords, boss's, CPS and countless others just because of her trashing me. [/quote]
My ex trashed me in the court documents; to all our friends and family and neighbors. To this day I think he convinced himself there was truth in some of it. He sat in court with his brain injury and all telling the judge he was the premium parent and I was not worthy of any alone time with our child. Can you imagine? I just sat there shaking my head as the judge ripped his head off. What comes around goes around. Give them enough rope and they will hang themselves. [/quote]
As I sit and read through this thread I have realized I am also guilty (especially in the beginning when the pain was so so fresh) of trashing my stbx to many of my closer friends and even unfortunately to my daughter a few times in a haze of so much pain that I didn't even know I did it. I have tried to let it go, I think my daughter has managed to forgive me, but there is still this tiny piece of me that beats myself up for that. Then I got to this post from Julia. And a flash of hope hit me dead center. My stbx also has a brain injury and I have no doubt has cinvinced himself that he is perfectly justified in leaving me after looking after him for the last 10 years, finding someone else to take my place before he had even moved out of our bed, stopping sending money to support his daughter while we try to get settlement details worked out, even for bringing his new GF here to this property while he finally came to get his things. I am waiting very patiently for a court date because he refuses to answer any of my lawyers requests for financial information from him and he has stopped sending the support that was at least keeping me from slipping into bankrupcy while I try to get this house sold. I only hope a judge will be able to see as clearly as I and everyone else I know does just how unfairly he has been treating me and in turn his daughter. I also hope I can find the strength to vent here when I need to but keep my cool with everyone else (especially our daughter)until I can finally have some closure.
Christine
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This is the first day of the rest of my life.
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juliacinaz
Platinum
Reged: 02/03/08
Posts: 335
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Christine,
I am so so so sorry for not being more sensitive to your situation. I have so much animosity for my ex. He sits in judgement of others when it is plain to all that he can barely care for himself. The longer the brain injured go from the time of their injury the harder it is for them to realize how damaged they are. Unfortunately this war will do for brain injury what Christopher Reeves did for spinal cord injury. Make people aware. My ex is very good at faking. He keeps notebooks filled with details and plans of what to do and say in situations because his brain injury is in the frontal lobe. Once you reach a certain point in the relationship he has nothing left to give. Had I not gotten pregnant on our 3rd date I would never have married him. Besides he told me he had no residual problems from his 8 day coma??? Trust me he has them. He cannot keep a job in his field and friends come and go. The only friends he maintains are from before the accident. Our 7 year old can tell he has a problem. Soon she will not want to continue their relationship. She is advancing past him.
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tiredofnagging
Gold
Reged: 05/09/08
Posts: 109
Loc: Las Vegas, NV USA
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[quote]Christine,
I am so so so sorry for not being more sensitive to your situation. I have so much animosity for my ex. He sits in judgement of others when it is plain to all that he can barely care for himself. The longer the brain injured go from the time of their injury the harder it is for them to realize how damaged they are. Unfortunately this war will do for brain injury what Christopher Reeves did for spinal cord injury. Make people aware. My ex is very good at faking. He keeps notebooks filled with details and plans of what to do and say in situations because his brain injury is in the frontal lobe. Once you reach a certain point in the relationship he has nothing left to give. Had I not gotten pregnant on our 3rd date I would never have married him. Besides he told me he had no residual problems from his 8 day coma??? Trust me he has them. He cannot keep a job in his field and friends come and go. The only friends he maintains are from before the accident. Our 7 year old can tell he has a problem. Soon she will not want to continue their relationship. She is advancing past him. [/quote]
Well it looks like your bad choices affect your ability to be objective regarding others.
What a shock!!!
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This Too Shall Pass
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Robfrommichigan
Platinum
Reged: 12/13/06
Posts: 1376
Loc: Reality Sux.
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Nice post mar...Good advice for all to live by.
The moral high road may be a difficult climb, but in the long run., it's worth it.
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Yesterday is history, tomorrow is a mystery, today is a gift, that's why it's called the present.
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