chatter box
Platinum
Reged: 11/09/07
Posts: 1185
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X is claiming I that I withheld her as the mother, can't have my wife pick up daughter, did not list her as emergancy contacts.
should I even send this?
Please send me a copy were it says in any order that (my wife) cannot pick (daughter) up from school or any other place. Why is it that you think I withheld you as the mother of our daughter and not included in any information, even in emergency purposes? In fact were is it stated in the court documents that I have to provide any place your information for emergency contact. I have however offered in the past and you refused to give me the emergency information. If you want me in the future to list you as an emergency contact then you will have to provide me with the information.
You are requesting progress reports for the tutoring which is something the school does not offer. The teacher can explain this to you today.
(wife) is (daughter) step-mom and will continue be there for (daughter) in the future. (wife) will continue to support her, taking her to events and to school. (wife) will continue to be involved with her psychological session and medical sessions when needed. (wife) is not (daughter) mom but at least I do not have to seek legal action just to have her do these things, wish I could say the same for you.
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numbnms
Platinum
Reged: 10/18/07
Posts: 641
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Believe me I understand the anger and the resentment of wanting to jab and needle when being accused of doing things that I did not do. However what will this letter accomplish?
Will it make you feel better? Maybe in the short term but in the long run it will bother you.
Will it make her act better? Not a chance in hell, it will probably invoke a biter reply and the vicious cycle will start over.
Will it help your daughter? Very unlikely.
Will help your wife? No it will drive the wedge even further between your wife and your ex's resentment of each other and make all future contact that much more unbearable.
So again I ask what is the point fo the letter?
(wow what a difference a few days makes, my recent posts are much less bitter than normal!)
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Forget waiting for the storm to pass
Learn to dance in the rain
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germangirl631
Platinum
Reged: 04/04/08
Posts: 851
Loc: NJ
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It was good therapy for you to write the letter. Now fold it up and either burn it, or put it away. Maybe 5 years down the road you will appreciate the fact you didn't send it. Right now, that's hard to fathom. But, I think it will only shake up the hornet's nest if you do send it.
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chatter box
Platinum
Reged: 11/09/07
Posts: 1185
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[quote]It was good therapy for you to write the letter. Now fold it up and either burn it, or put it away. . [/quote]
your right and I will shred it.
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KGrow
Platinum
Reged: 01/27/06
Posts: 3098
Loc: Colorado
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Your letter gives this observer the impression that you're trying to displace the mother with your wife. That's a no-no. You need to find a way to integrate her, not alienate her. I'd start by apologizing for leaving her off the emergency contact info.
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tookway2much
Platinum
Reged: 03/31/08
Posts: 624
Loc: Going toward the light!
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WOW!!! Has someone been nipping the bottle or what? Why should he apologize for having someone to share his daughter's life with. Children need a village to raise them......
We can't control the quality time our X spouses spend with our children after we are divorced. Any more than we can control them using every little detail as to how unfair life is to them. Tell the B@#$H to grow up. It's all about your daughter, not her.
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I don't worry about the people in my past. There is a reason they are not in my future.
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KGrow
Platinum
Reged: 01/27/06
Posts: 3098
Loc: Colorado
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It is fine for him to include his wife and put her as an emergency contact. No need to apologize for that.
I am suggesting he should apologize for omitting the mother. Although chatter box has tried to justify doing that, there's really no excuse.
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mistake#2
Platinum
Reged: 07/19/06
Posts: 3116
Loc: Florida
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[quote]It is fine for him to include his wife and put her as an emergency contact. No need to apologize for that.
I am suggesting he should apologize for omitting the mother. Although chatter box has tried to justify doing that, there's really no excuse. [/quote]
Is there really no excuse?
I think chatterbox would rather have the ease of knowing that himself or his wife would be contacted in case of an emergency instead of a mother who does not take proper responsibility for the care of her child.
I know my situation is a bit different as my ex is 1300 miles away, but I don't list him as an emergency contact either. I do not have him listed on school registration cards so he may not pick up the children without my knowing about it. I've had situations where I was unsure if he was going to try and get the kids from school when he shouldn't have but felt less nervous knowing that he would have to bring court papers with him and that they would call me before releasing the children anyhow.
As far as Chatterbox sending the letter though, I definitely think there is no purpose in it. If the mother thinks that step-mom shouldn't be involved, let her try to put it in an order and then he can react...in the meantime there really isn't any point other than getting it off his chest, which has been accomplished just by putting the words down on paper.
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**4 weeks to go**
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jersey girl
Platinum
Reged: 08/07/06
Posts: 1511
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Guys - I am with Kgrow on this. If legally, you are required to list the mom as the emergency contact, then that contact SUPERCEDES the step mom. Period. Please chatter, don't tell us that you don't have a home, work or cell phone number for the mother of your children.
You signed that agreement. You need to live by it or change it LEGALLY.
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