weatherman
Platinum
Reged: 03/25/07
Posts: 1050
Loc: GA
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There's no such thing as being friends with an ex-spouse. Maybe it can be faked, but it's still fake.
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That itch ...Could it mean dandruff?
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Books29
Platinum
Reged: 02/20/08
Posts: 345
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I would NEVER be friends with my stbx. You just don't treat your friends the way he treated me. The emotional abuse, lies, and deceipt are just a few of the many reasons why I would never be his friend. And, I'm with you PinkRose. His emotional abuse at the end of our marriage has forever changed the very way I look at the world and people in general. Friends should be in your life to support you, to help make you a better person and you for them. I can't be friends with somebody who beat me down and destroyed the very thing that I held most dear in my life. He doesn't deserve my friendship. In response to your question, I guess it would all depend on how YOUR marriage ended. If it was mutual and there was no cheating or abuse in any way, then maybe I can see where you guys can be friends. But, if there was any type of emotional abuse or cheating, I just can't see how being friends would be a possiblity.
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juliacinaz
Platinum
Reged: 02/03/08
Posts: 857
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[quote]Right now, I have no real interest in being friends. I've seen how she treats her friends and it's better than she's treated me. Screw her. Friends stand by you. She isn't my friend. She's just someone I had a child with. She can be friends with Jason. [/quote]
WOO HOO! Right on! Way to go mfergel!
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juliacinaz
Platinum
Reged: 02/03/08
Posts: 857
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[quote]No way in hell would I be friends with my STBX. He
totally disrespected me and emotionally destroyed me.
I sure as hell do not need friends like that. [/quote]
This is how I feel exactly! He keeps saying I need to let it go but I am NEVER going to let it go! He told lies about me and tried to take our child from my life. No way in hell is he a friend of mine!
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taryn
Platinum
Reged: 05/31/07
Posts: 2258
Loc: Hell...but im coming back up, ...
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for the most part
'i want to be friends' is an easy let down for the leaving person,
and
is a source of false hope for the other person.
not always,
but a caution for you to consider.
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taryn.
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jakandme
Platinum
Reged: 12/30/07
Posts: 569
Loc: on my way up the hill
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I could never have anything but a coparent arrangement, there will never be "friendly" feelings there. There will always be a deep scar in my heart where he placed it. I will do the best I can to remain sensible, and civil. But no way in hell will he ever get the chance again to see even one of my emotions which is what friends get to see. Nope, not friends, not mortal enemies but not friends.
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What is the future but a mirrored image of the past? Only we can make it better or worse!
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happy2bme
Platinum
Reged: 03/28/08
Posts: 219
Loc: Phoenix, AZ
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I'm in a similar situation-- no kids, he wanted the divorce and then wanted to be friends.
It's been over a year since we separated. In that time, I have tried to be his friend, I really have. It's not been easy and I finally had to say sorry but the friend thing is not going to work for me when he forgot my birthday AGAIN this past Friday (he forgot it last week too). It's sad that you can be married to someone for seven years and when your birthday rolls around they are too busy to even send a text.
So yeah... sorry for rambling but for me, being friends is no longer an option and I would have saved myself a lot of heartache if I had just said forget about being friends from the get go.
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No man is happy who does not think himself so. ~Marcus Aurelius Antoninus
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mfergel
Platinum
Reged: 02/11/08
Posts: 1416
Loc: Richmond, VA
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It's been hard the last two days for me, especially with the no contact rule and going through the anger phase. I'm watching our daughter while she's in California for work. For some reason, her calls are going straight to my Voice Mail (seriously). When I get the message, I ask my daughter if she wants to call and she doesn't, so I don't. So, I called her today and I could tell she was really trying to make conversation and I essentially kept my responses to yes and no for the most part. I told her the reason I didn't call back was because my daughter didn't want to talk. I have the same thing happen to me when I call the house to say goodnight to my daughter and she doesn't want to talk. I think my ex is starting to realize that divorce means more than keeping things the way they were with the exception of me not being in the house. She wants to be friends. Screw her. She can be friends with Jason.
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Here I am ladies.......come and get me. :-)
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jjaann
Bronze
Reged: 03/16/08
Posts: 47
Loc: Virginia
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I am sorry but I have the same stuff from my STBX. He told my daughter he wants to be friends. He wants to be friends because our adult children don’t really want much to do with him. He almost ruined my daughter’s wedding with his affair. The kids just don’t have a relationship with him but if he was friends with me, he could hang out with them occasionally. So he will try to continue to use me.
I think it is a way for the person asking for the divorce to be gentle. I am sure there must have been a Seinfeld episode on something like this. Or was that the one about how it is “not you” “but me” break up.
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Robfrommichigan
Platinum
Reged: 12/13/06
Posts: 1402
Loc: Reality Sux.
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[quote]for the most part
'i want to be friends' is an easy let down for the leaving person,
and
is a source of false hope for the other person.
not always,
but a caution for you to consider. [/quote]
That's the best post right there...
I say it's fine to be friends..you betcha!! Why not?? life is short man...you never know when you might need that shoulder to lean on again.
Shame on all mean ppl.
Shame, shame, shame.
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Yesterday is history, tomorrow is a mystery, today is a gift, that's why it's called the present.
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