I keep seeing the same thing pop up over and over in peoples' stories. That their only true friend was their spouse. Why is this so common?
I know in my case, I didn't want to make friends only to be embarrassed in front of them by my stbx. So, I didn't really have any friends to speak of. Just my sister who live 30 minutes away, and some college girl friends I get together with 2x a year (girls-only outings). However, I would never admit to anyone we were having marriage difficulties because I felt like I was failing. Who wants to admit failure?
So, I kept all my problems to myself and they only escalated since my stbx basically told me they were MY problems. Not OUR problems. Counseling was out of the question for him. Harboring ill feelings can definitely cause you to become depressed and miserable. That's what my stbx told me when he asked for the divorce. That I was miserable. (well, I was! but he wasn't willing to work on anything with me!) Being married, and still feeling alone is a horrible existence.
I now realize that maintaining healthy friendships with other couples, as well as individuals is one of the keys to maintaining your marriage. And, admitting you're having trouble isn't the end of the world. Someone else might actually have gone through the same thing and be able to help you.
It is a horrible feeling girl. But finding the difference of being alone and being lonely are two very different things. You really don't need any thing but to feel comfortable with yourself. Friends are nice but they come and go. you will always have you. It's true we keep hearing the same things from everybody here both new and old. Things get so low sometimes it's discusting. " It does get better " Good Luck I hope you find yourself and I'll bet you"ll be PROUD !!!!
My problem is that my wife was never my best friend. I don't feel like I've had a best friend in a long time. A lot of things I never talked about with my wife because I felt like she would never understand. I think our relationship was one of those things. As distant as our relationship might have been sometimes, she was still more than a friend too me, she was my family. Losing her would be like telling one of my brothers that I no longer consider them family or a friend. I'm 41 and we were together for roughly 12 years. That's a quarter of my life with someone. I miss my friend.
-------------------- Here I am ladies.......come and get me. :-)
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