rdpotter
Silver
Reged: 02/01/06
Posts: 94
|
|
Ladies on this site, or gentlemen if you would like to comment:
It has been eons since I have been on the dating scene. What are the rules ? So far, I can see, is that guys say a lot of things they don't necessarily mean and you would be a fool to take anything seriously. I find that kind of sad. I don't play games and I almost always say what I mean. The result is that I'm getting slaughtered in the dating arena. Any help and advice would be appreciated from someone who has done this for a bit. HOw does one go through this emotional minefield or do you have to approach it with your head only ? God, I don't know how people do it. It drains me and I don't think my skin can get tough enough fast enough. The last rejection really smarted because I just didn't see it coming. Nothing in our conversation hinted at that. And I don't mean on-line dating. I just can't do that right now. I mean just people you meet randomly and really hit it off. Do you just learn how to do this like any other life skill or are there ways to make this easier ? sometimes I would rather sit home, watch TV than go out with face the dating hazards. I know there are nice guys out there. I've met them. Of course, most of them are already attached but it's comforting to know they exist. I never go out with the intention of looking but sometimes you meet someone and there's lots of chemistry so if someone can help me out, I would really appreciate it.
|
mfergel
Platinum
Reged: 02/11/08
Posts: 1349
Loc: Richmond, VA
|
|
I hear you. It seems like women want a guy to be honest and be himself, but when you do that, they act like you aren't exciting enough. It's like they say one thing and do another......wait, women would never do that. :-)
But seriously, I don't think women (or men) really give each other enough time to really know each other. Even online. You read a profile and think you know everything about the person and have decided already whether to contact them or not.
--------------------
Here I am ladies.......come and get me. :-)
|
taryn
Platinum
Reged: 05/31/07
Posts: 2126
Loc: Hell...but im coming back up, ...
|
|
if it's fun and casual it seems to last a bit longer.
there has to be chemistry too of course.
i think a lot of people get turned off by hearing too much
'drama' or 'ick' during dating.
i REALLY kept things light as possible.
and i found i appreciated the same.
it wasnt until dating someone for a while that bits of the 'real' stuff comes out.
the other think i noticed is boredom!
lots and LOTS of boredom is part of dating.
LOL. i asked questions and showed interest in stuff that made me want to grit my teeth i was so bored 
i dont think there are dating rules,
there is just dating....drama, boredom, dumping, dumped, and SOME fun thrown in the mix until you hit it off with someone.
hang in there.
OR
take a break from it all.
that's what ive done and believe me
once i get back out there the first few times WILL be
a disaster because im so totally out of practice.
--------------------
taryn.
|
mfergel
Platinum
Reged: 02/11/08
Posts: 1349
Loc: Richmond, VA
|
|
Maybe I should offer myself up as a practice date. You know, I could take you ladies out and this way you could see what dating is like again. :-)
--------------------
Here I am ladies.......come and get me. :-)
|
rdpotter
Silver
Reged: 02/01/06
Posts: 94
|
|
you're funny mfergel. You're on if you're ever in Canada. We can check out the polar bears. haha I noticed you said "ladies". Casting a wide net aren't you ?
|
ATVILLAS
Platinum
Reged: 05/12/07
Posts: 2284
Loc: Lost in the post D maze!!
|
|
rdpotter
What part of Canada. I lived in the Ottawa area for many years.
--------------------
Help someone smile today!!!
Welcome to paradise!!!
|
taryn
Platinum
Reged: 05/31/07
Posts: 2126
Loc: Hell...but im coming back up, ...
|
|
Quote:
Maybe I should offer myself up as a practice date. You know, I could take you ladies out and this way you could see what dating is like again. :-)
that could work,
but i have to tell you
mfergel...once i get my mojo back...i might make you CRY! LOL
--------------------
taryn.
|
mfergel
Platinum
Reged: 02/11/08
Posts: 1349
Loc: Richmond, VA
|
|
Quote:
Quote:
Maybe I should offer myself up as a practice date. You know, I could take you ladies out and this way you could see what dating is like again. :-)
that could work,
but i have to tell you
mfergel...once i get my mojo back...i might make you CRY! LOL
Bring it on. Let's see what you got. :-)
--------------------
Here I am ladies.......come and get me. :-)
|
taryn
Platinum
Reged: 05/31/07
Posts: 2126
Loc: Hell...but im coming back up, ...
|
|
[quoteBring it on. Let's see what you got. :-)
damm it!
im STILL in my 'no dating' phase and i cant break out of it.
give me a few more weeks.
junish.
then we can go on a few practice dates to get my mojo back.
then...yes....you might just cry....
have a nice night mfergel!
it's good to see you able to joke around,
even for a second!
every day, minute and second is one step closer
to healing and feeling better.
--------------------
taryn.
|
is it over
Platinum
Reged: 11/19/06
Posts: 322
|
|
First.. figure out what you want. If you want sex or just fun.. admit that to yourself.. and then you don't have to waste time worrying about whether he pays his bills on time, and you can focus on whether he will suck your toes or not.. LOL. KNOW WHAT YOU WANT.
People in general appreciate honesty, but like Taryn said, that doesnt mean they need your life story (thats what we are here for). If u think u are ready for something serious, don't fall too fast. Take your time. If its meant to be, it will come. You don't have to rush it. Its really not that bad being alone.
Oh.. some of us ladies get lonely.. and we are flattered when a decent guy asks us out. But instead of worrying if he likes you.... take the time to figure out if you like him. Don't go to drag races just to please someone. I promise you.. its not worth it. Don't start out by compromising.. because he doesnt know you are, and he will think you like drag races or go carting. Be true to yourself. If you want a mate.. a partner who is better matched to you than the one that landed you here, find someone who you genuinely have a good time with.
Uh.. as I write this I am sitting home alone.. lol.
|
Previous
Index
Next
Threaded
Edit
Reply
Quote
