mistake#2
Platinum
Reged: 07/19/06
Posts: 3068
Loc: Florida
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My hubby suggested that I log down every conversation that I have with ex, every phone call and voice mail and also make a note of dates he has talked to the kids.
I wish I had started two months ago as it would be clear that he started harassing me when I didn't respond to him the way he expected.
Hubby thinks that ex is trying to document my lack of cooperation...but I think a bigger issue would be if he tried to say that I was keeping him from talking to the kids, which I'm not.
Here's what I got:
Home phone:
4/29 - 6:41 J called home phone & talked to kids
5/6 - 6:42 - J called home phone & talked to kids
5/7 - J talked to J, J tried to set up visitation through J and I said that he needed to discuss with me. He said he'd call me later.
5/10 - Jo called dad via cell phone, I spoke with J in regards to visitation time.
5/11 - 7:43 pm - J calls asking to speak to me
5/12 6:41 pm - J leaves message for me
5/13 6:33 pm - J leaves message for me
5/14 - continual phone calls...Harassment has started & I unplug phone during day as my hubby works 3rd shift, no caller id. but noted that he was calling home phone multiple times during daytime hours.
5/16 4:45 pm - J leaves message for me
5/17 5:31 pm - J leaves message for me
5/18 - calls at some time during day but kids are busy and don't pick up the phone.
5/19 11:53 am - J leaves message for me
5/21 8:24 pm - E talks to dad and he asks her to give me message. Says he doesn't have time to talk to J.
5/22 7:59 am - leaves v/m
5/22 8:00 am - calls but leaves no message
Cell phone calls
5/11 - 6:42 pm - suggests taking J June 1st
5/12 - 5:41 pm - v/m to call him back
5/13 - 9:40 am - v/m to call him back
5/13 - AM - I returned call & told him kids are not out of school on June 1st, phone died mid-conversation.
5/13 - 11:00 am - v/m asking for date kids get out of school
5/13 - 6:31 pm - J talks to dad, dad asks for me. length of call 46 sec - I think phone cut out?
5/14 - 3:03 pm - v/m to call him back.
5/14 - 6:31 pm - E talks to dad, dad asks for me. length of call 1:59 sec.
5/14 - 8:34 pm - v/m to call him back.
5/15 - 5:32 pm - v/m to call him back.
5/15 - 6:37 pm - leaves page to call at ###
5/15 - 6:37:55 - leaves page to call at #
5/15 - 6:38 pm -
5/15 - 6:38:26 - leaves page to call at ###
5/15 - 6:39:12 - leaves page to call at #
5/15 - 6:39:39 - leaves page to call at ###
I return call - 5/16 - 6:30 am - I leave message for him that I'm returning his call.
5/16 - 3:44 pm - said missed call, phone on vibrate...call him back.
5/17 - 12:07 pm- v/m to call him back
5/17 - 5:31:35 - leaves page to call at ###
5/18 - 6:12 pm - leaves v/m to call back
5/19 - 11:50 am - leaves v/m to call back & asking to speak to kids.
I return call - 5/19 - 12:05 pm - tell him date that kids are out of school, that he may not take J in June & phone cuts out.
5/19 - 12:06 pm - he leaves v/m with condascending remark and asking to call him back.
5/19 - 6:36 pm - v/m to call back
5/19 - 9:33 pm - leaves insulting v/m & asks for call back
5/19 - 9:34:20 - leaves page to call at ###
5/20 - 12:03 pm - leaves v/m stating wants to talk to kids
I text "my phone isn't working properly can only text intermittently...t mobile suks n keeps giving me $credits but cant seem to fix problem.
5/20 - 12:04 pm - leaves v/m asking to call & says wants to talk to kids - they are obviously in school however.
5/20 - 12:09 pm - leaves v/m demanding I pick up the phone
5/20 - 12:09:28 - in response to me texting him that I am having prob. with phone and can only intermittently text due to the service issues - texts, "then answer your phone so we can talk about visitation"
5/20 - 12:10 pm -
5/20 - 12:10:52 - leaves page to call at ###
5/20 - 12:12 pm - leaves v/m telling me to pick up my phone.
I text "took several attempts to send last text n I don't have long distance on any other phone...already told u no june"
5/20 - 12:18:36 - texts," your home phone is not working either? If thats the case then e-mail me. This is my new address ...incorrect e-mail address"
5/20 - 12:22:01 - texts, "correct e-mail address"
5/20 - I send e-mail stating "The kids are out of school on June 4th, you should be responsible enough to look up dates pertaining to their school on the website if you didn't keep the calendar mailed to you at the beginning of the school year. You cannot take J in June. I recently mailed you a request for medical reimbursement and included pictures of E in her ROTC uniform. Stop calling me repeatedly"
5/21 - 11:43 am - leaves v/m stating that his e-mail is not working properly and cannot receive incoming e-mail due to change in internet services. Also asking to speak to the kids though knowing full well that they are in school.
5/21 - 8:22 pm - leaves v/m stating that he is mailing letters?
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Jada
Platinum
Reged: 06/02/07
Posts: 3191
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Do you keep your phone records? If so, go through them and write down how many times he has called or you have called him so that the kids could talk to him.
And if you do get that letter, respond to the dates: Those won't work could he send another list of dates for you to consider? I would also tell him that the telephone harassment needs to stop, everything can be handled via snail mail.
Be sure to send it certified, return receipt. You're not going to be able to put him off much longer. And I wouldn't send him anything that states that you won't consider any of his dates. Just let him figure it out on his own.
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chatter box
Platinum
Reged: 11/09/07
Posts: 1157
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I like using a cell phone because my statements list every call local or not. There are even some cheap programs for the computer that will do the same for home phones with caller ID. You might even look into some of the stuff dispatchers use to record their phone conversations and logs. Dispatchers use there records in court all the time so it has to be easy to use and admissable in court.
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mistake#2
Platinum
Reged: 07/19/06
Posts: 3068
Loc: Florida
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I keep cell phone bills that log all the calls. I'm going to be going through those next...that will show the times the kids have called him as I don't have long distance on home phone so when they call him it has to be via cell phone. He almost never called my cell phone before this as the kids answer the home phone so it will show that too.
I only got caller id on home phone recently due to our move...it's hooked up through my cable so when I'm watching tv and phone is unplugged I do see who is calling but it doesn't register on phone id.
The letter should be an interesting read...wonder if he sending it certified for proof?
Regardless I have decided that when it comes time to mediate that I will also be asking that he pay a higher portion of the transportation costs on top of asking for the visits to be supervised. I know it's going to end up in front of a judge so I may as well ask for everything.
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mistake#2
Platinum
Reged: 07/19/06
Posts: 3068
Loc: Florida
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Well his new message stated that he was sending copies of his phone records to FOC...I don't know what he thinks he will accomplish by this as I'm not under any court order to answer my phone or discuss summer visit with him, but the message did accomplish making me MAD. I hate that I let him get to me. I shouldn't have called him back, it did show again that my cell phone isn't working though cause I called several times and couldn't finish a connection. He stated he will call my home phone later. I'm going to keep it short & sweet, "I don't know if those dates will work...but I don't respond well to harassment, insults and threats. I'll call my attorney." "If the harassment continues I will file charges along with a restraining order."
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**5 weeks to go**
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