loonzilla
New
Reged: 05/26/08
Posts: 1
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Wife has been off doing drugs and drinking, draining our cash assets. I gave her ultimatum; she's enrolls in treatment, gets a job, and signs a document (in the form of a prenup) to protect my assets in case her actions cause a divorce. My question is, where/how do I obtain this document and what is the process for obtaining one? I love her to death, but the drug demons are sometimes stronger than love, so I need to protect myself and she's agreed. Any ideas? Thx.
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Jada
Platinum
Reged: 06/02/07
Posts: 3463
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[quote]Wife has been off doing drugs and drinking, draining our cash assets. I gave her ultimatum; she's enrolls in treatment, gets a job, and signs a document (in the form of a prenup) to protect my assets in case her actions cause a divorce. My question is, where/how do I obtain this document and what is the process for obtaining one? I love her to death, but the drug demons are sometimes stronger than love, so I need to protect myself and she's agreed. Any ideas? Thx. [/quote]
Contact an attorney. It may not have the effect that you want as any of the assets that were purchased during the marriage aren't just yours.
An attorney would better be able to advise you on the legality of a post-nup (a pre-nup is before the marriage, not after).
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theanswerguy
Platinum
Reged: 04/12/07
Posts: 2267
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What state ?
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Never let your sense of morals get in the way of doing what's right. Isaac Asimov
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jbar
Platinum
Reged: 12/16/06
Posts: 1066
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Don't get fooled by lawyer-enriching "pie in the sky" which could have disastrous consequences, and may not be recognized in a divorce, if even legal in your state.
Get as much hard evidence as you can on her illegal activities, and on any statutes of limitations for criminal prosecution for these activities. When she finds out what you know, she will go along with anything you ask.
Edited by jbar (05/27/08 04:50 AM)
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Jada
Platinum
Reged: 06/02/07
Posts: 3463
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[quote]Don't get fooled by lawyer-enriching "pie in the sky" which could have disastrous consequences, and may not be recognized in a divorce, if even legal in your state.
Get as much hard evidence as you can on her illegal activities, and on any statutes of limitations for criminal prosecution for these activities. When she finds out what you know, she will go along with anything you ask. [/quote]
Keep in mind that what Jbar has suggested you do is illegal.
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stoltz
Platinum
Reged: 01/29/07
Posts: 1493
Loc: Texas
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>>>> "Keep in mind that what Jbar has suggested you do is illegal."
It is?
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gigi
Platinum
Reged: 11/06/06
Posts: 5141
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If what you are trying to save is worth the legal help to save it, then pay for several hours worth of lawyer time to make that happen & get yourself a post-nup. If it's not worth the fees (we're not talking MULTIPLE thousands here, probably)... then it's not worth your time either. If the things you're worried about are sentimental, family heirlooms or your own personal memorability from before marriage that are yours even if you divorce, and you just want to make certain she doesn't pawn grandpa's pocket watch in order to buy drugs, then until you can trust her, rent a small storage room in your name only and take all your heirlooms & papers and memorability out to the storage place. Keep one key where she can't find it for yourself and the other give to a family member or friend (for the security code, don't give that one out fo anyone, not even hte family or friend). Then when you're feeling more secure with her recovery you can go bring the stuff back.
I know people whose kids broke into thier house and removed everything of value, one item at a time... big screen TV was pawned and good for a week's worth of high... Antique grandfather clock only lasted one overnight. Those people caught on and arranged for security way too late, after most of the house was emptied and their hope in thier child was lost forever. Very sad.
Some treatment facilities will help you with creating a contract/having a confrontation... what they call an "intervention", if you've ever heard the term. A contract like what you're contemplating can become part of this. The intervention is very powerful because it's not a piecemeal thing like what it seems you're trying to do... instead of having one person at a time abandon her and tell her that they can't support her behaviro any more, they ALL get together and confront her with what awful things she's done and also with everyone at the same time, all coming to an agreement not to be "co-dependent" any longer... in other words, refusing to be her support system for her illness... and so she does no thave the thing in hte back of her mind during the confrontation that she's just going to walk out of the room and go find a friend to live with or a mother to support her or a cousin who will lend her money for her next binge. When her husband, mother, friend and cousin are all in the same room, saying they refuse to let her sleep over, borrow money, and USE them any longer, it can be a VERY powerful thing.
But if you want a post-nup first and then do an intervention, go to a lawyer to get the stuff you need in writing for that.
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KGrow
Platinum
Reged: 01/27/06
Posts: 3153
Loc: Colorado
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A nuptial agreement signed under duress (e.g. threat of divorce) will not be enforcible.
Probably the best way to protect yourself is to file for divorce. That's not going to right any wrongs but it will stop the bleeding. It will also surly get her attention. If she manages to pull her self around, you can always abandon the filing before finalizing the divorce.
Edited by KGrow (05/27/08 12:54 PM)
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jbar
Platinum
Reged: 12/16/06
Posts: 1066
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===========================================================
A nuptial agreement signed under duress (e.g. threat of divorce) will not be enforcible.
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That's about as rational as everything else in divorce law.
Perhaps if the person wanting the post-nup were to simply suggest that he may have "irreconcileable differences" with his spouse, which only could be resolved by a post-nup, this would make the resulting post-nup valid.
Why the HELL should the threat of termination of a "partnership", unless its terms can be modified by mutual agreement, render such a mutual agreement invalid when such termination is expressly permitted in the first place, by law, at any time and by either party??
Don't the fools responsible for this kind of nonsense realize that such law is likely to cause more divorces?
Edited by jbar (05/28/08 01:00 AM)
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