cedc
Platinum
Reged: 03/02/07
Posts: 560
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Not the norm. My single male friends have multiple girlfriends and the woman I was ( key word being was)seeing had two boyfriends other than me. Yup,she was havin sex with all three of us. Grossed me out when I found out and ran away from that relationship like a scolded dog.
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My X makes Peg Bundy look good.
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taryn
Platinum
Reged: 05/31/07
Posts: 2460
Loc: standing on the mountaintop! :...
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Quote:
Not the norm. My single male friends have multiple girlfriends and the woman I was ( key word being was)seeing had two boyfriends other than me. Yup,she was havin sex with all three of us. Grossed me out when I found out and ran away from that relationship like a scolded dog.
see...that is SO gross!
i am SO glad i decided to not date (AGAIN...LOL),
and just do the friend thing.
eventually dating does involve sex and
really i cant take the drama.
(or that gross concern!)
i think there really should be a 'one person' RULE.0nce you start having sex. Honestly!
the thing that gets me is
even if ONE PERSON (me in this case) says they are being exclusive. there really is no way to know if the other person is being honest too.
Multiple sexing is WAY more rude and disguisting than even the "3 date rule"!
ps.just for the record
(oh and i AM going to be all "woe is me" here  )
i REALLY want to run over my stbx's foot for being such a ^%$@#$% [censored] that, at my age, im dealing with this dating drama. UH!
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taryn.
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germangirl631
Platinum
Reged: 04/04/08
Posts: 1281
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I should think you'd want to run over other body parts. A foot is too gentle...
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KGrow
Platinum
Reged: 01/27/06
Posts: 3153
Loc: Colorado
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Quote:
So how many dates?
or
How long can 2 adults date before this becomes a problem?
My experience is you get, at most, two dates. After two dates, you should know where you want to take it. You may not be comfortable either going deeper or telling him to bugger off. but you know. I can tell by your posts that you know.
To answer your question more directly, dudes who want to have sex with you are generally going to start gunning for it on the third date.
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cedc
Platinum
Reged: 03/02/07
Posts: 560
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dudes who want to ONLY have sex with you are generally going to start gunning for it on the third date.
And if you give it up on date #3 we are usually gone shortly there after. Men that are really looking for a commited relationship are turned off by you ladies being a little too easy. You dont commit with a woman like that, she becomes sex only. And a pretty good indicator that your being fished for is Taryns Guy #2. Loads of attention then *poof* gone. Repeat this a few times and it builds attraction. I don't know why, but his kinda behavior drives you ladies nuts. We act like we couldn't be bothered and it drives you closer to us. The height of frustration builds and HELLO it's sex time. Then were gone. Damned if you do,damned if you don't. If your chasing a man,all your doing is taking the bait. Men that want more than sex will chase you.
That being said, I let the cat out of the bag and now I have to go surrender my Man card down at the lodge.
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My X makes Peg Bundy look good.
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gigi
Platinum
Reged: 11/06/06
Posts: 5141
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Oh... and here I was thinking the only reason I only ever lasted 3 dates with many guys was because I refused to have sex that quickly, and that if I HAD, that maybe the'd have stuck around to get to know me better. In hindsight, I realize that they were wrong for me for other reasons... but... But Hmmm...
So what you're saying is that it doesn't matter whether or not sex is involved... it's 3 dates and out for most relationships? Well, that makes me feel a lot better about a few unsuccessful relationships. Interestingly, if I was the one doing the rejecting... it was ONE date and then done. A guy woudl not GET to date number 3 with me unless I was thinking it was likely we could be longer term. And it was always frustrating when a guy would get to date number 3 with me and then nothing more after that... usually with the complaint accompanying it that I was too prude.
Interestingly, that complaint never changed my behavior... just frustrated me, about the state of the world, but never changed who I was. If it wasn't right, it wasn't right.
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Armor
Platinum
Reged: 10/27/06
Posts: 438
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I let the woman set the pace on that one, and I let her know it's at her pace, not mine. If she's not ready for sex after 3 dates, that's fine with me...it's a lot more enjoyable anyway if you wait until she's totally ready and into it. And I've found that letting her know that it is on her pace, not mine, takes a lot of pressure off of her. She tends to be more relaxed knowing I'm not going to pressure her into sex, and because of that, when they are actually ready and totally into it themselves...wow, it's good...LOL
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cedc
Platinum
Reged: 03/02/07
Posts: 560
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I'm not saying it is 3 dates and out. But yes, this does determine the TYPE and LENGTH of said relationship, at least from my male perspective. If I go out on a date and I'm having sex on the first or second one. I'm thinking hmmm, just how many other guys has she done with? And I am certainly not thinking, Wow this chick is easy! I'm gonna go out and get that ring and introduce her to my kids!!!!. Not..going..to..happen. BUT guess what that makes you? Fall back girl. When looking for a life partner and having no luck at all, there is always fall back girl. *Whew* I'm not saying all, but alot of guys have multiple fall back girls and all were easily had on date 1,2 or 3. and are called upon until the guy finally finds "the one". This "one" is the woman that HE has been chasing after for along time.
Very early sex=Fall back girl.
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My X makes Peg Bundy look good.
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taryn
Platinum
Reged: 05/31/07
Posts: 2460
Loc: standing on the mountaintop! :...
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Quote:
I should think you'd want to run over other body parts. A foot is too gentle...
yeah,
but a foot is easy access and the worst place a foot has been is the ground.
im thinking any of his other body parts i dont want even my CAR to be near!
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taryn.
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taryn
Platinum
Reged: 05/31/07
Posts: 2460
Loc: standing on the mountaintop! :...
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Very early sex=Fall back girl. [/quote
fall back girl? FALL BACK GIRL!
i am HORRIFIED that guy #2 would think im the damm
fall back girl!
i LIKED him and he made me one of Many fall back girls?!
for heaven's sake...i am NO FALL BACK GIRL!
this is the ONLY person who dogged me!
i dogged the rest for crying out loud!
AND i didnt sleep with them either!!!!!!
this is SO not fair!
i am NEVER EVER going to like someone else again.
EVER!
you know what kind of rule there should be?
HERE!:
*no dating until youve been separated for MUCH longer than i was last summer.
*NO guys should be allowed to be all smooth and such to newly divorced girls!
CUZ WE think they MEAN IT!
*NO assuming because all of the sudden, with ONE person, a girl has sex a little soonish it's how it was with everyone!
cuz that is NOT a fair assumption!
i dont even have anymore rules.
i am so embarrassed that someone thinks im the fallback girl.
and even worse you all think/know i am.
im going to go hide in the sand for a few days.
Goodness.
that first series of dating after you separate is such a whirlwind. youre so vulnerable and want to prove something to yourself. it's not fair to base who a person is on that first few months. NOT that you all are at all! But still, at that point, I wasnt myself. not even close. NOW im me! and NOW i wouldnt make even close to the same choices i previously made.
but history is history.
im going to go hide in that sand a bit.
see you all in a few days.
ps. i am NO [censored] FALL BACK GIRL....snifff...Im NOT!
sniff
(and yes..i am 'woe is me' and 'boo hoo'. but not 'cuz i dont have man. LOL)
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taryn.
Edited by taryn (05/29/08 10:17 PM)
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