is it over
Platinum
Reged: 11/19/06
Posts: 331
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Very interesting.. now you have all of us who have ever had sex on date 1,2, or 3 questioning if we were now classified as a "fall back girl".. I think that SOMETIMES.. a good relationship can occur despite quick sex.. so maybe you could answer some questions.. like.. if u then continue to date the guy for 4-5 months.. does that take you out of fallback girl status? If he comes over and cooks dinner for you, are you fallback girl? If he comes over to play scrabble with you, are you fallback girl? What if you do all of this after having kicka** sex on date #3? Mebbe at the time we wanted to have sex.. it seemed like a good idea, but it doesnt mean we do it all the time.. and it might even mean it was the first time we did it... but sh** happens.
I dunno. I like this thread tho....
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taryn
Platinum
Reged: 05/31/07
Posts: 2460
Loc: standing on the mountaintop! :...
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well,
except you know what?
i honestly thing there is some very real truth in this.
(okay, now back to my hiding spot in the sand...)
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taryn.
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Tranquility
New
Reged: 05/22/08
Posts: 22
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Taryn,
You're NOT a fall-back girl, so get your head out of the sand. Unless there's a buff beach body in there somewhere.
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Armor
Platinum
Reged: 10/27/06
Posts: 438
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Truthfully, I wouldn't put a woman in my "fallback" column (if I had one...lol) just because she had sex with me sometime in the first few dates. Rather, I would put somebody there if she had sex with me reguardless of how I acted or treated her. The actual point at which she first had sex with me in the realtionship would have very little to do with it.
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ATVILLAS
Platinum
Reged: 05/12/07
Posts: 2331
Loc: West Palm Beach FL
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""how long until sex is EXPECTED?""
Before you get off the dance floor???
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Help someone smile today!!!
Welcome to paradise!!!
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cedc
Platinum
Reged: 03/02/07
Posts: 560
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There is ALOT of truth to this. Alot of the men I know do this and it's talked about quite frequently in male circles. Yes, you should question the short term relationships that quickly cooled after sex was had. It's amazing how this "great guy" who is "so nice" and 'wait till you meet him" turns into the biggest dick walking the planet shortly after you gave it up. "What did I ever see in him anyway?" Sheesh, what an ass! Coincidence? Nope. How do you tell a woman you were just leading her on just so you could get a little sheet time? You don't, you blow her off, act like super jerk and SHE dumps YOU. Next! My friend is a confirmed bachelor for life and this is his gig. He does it aaalllll the time, and has done so for years. He is just one of many. Sure, he'll come over and cook you dinner after your scrabble game and then have blazin hot $ex with you all night. When the relationship gets a little too much, he is out of there.
Too much game play for me. I just turned 40 and I have to go thru this? Oy, I just want someone to grow old with and don't want to leave a string of pissed off women in my wake. I tried dating right after I got divorced and way too soon IMHO. I got sex,sure. Life mate? Not even close. So when I posted about RELAX, Take care of YOU, and let things kinda happen when they happen, I meant it. WAY to much fretting about finding a partner.
Me? Not dating, no fall back girl, no games. I'm rearranging my life for ME and MY KIDS and letting the chips fall where they may.
Just remember, LOOKING for love just gets you laid, love usually finds you by chance.
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My X makes Peg Bundy look good.
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derkacz78
Gold
Reged: 05/07/08
Posts: 190
Loc: MIchigan
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I just don't get it. What is it about women that want a guy that is treating them like crap. What I mean is a guy that is playing with them or a guy that is hard to get?
Vesus a guy that is nice, has morals and values and will treat you right?
What is that attraction......Is that what I need to do?
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Armor
Platinum
Reged: 10/27/06
Posts: 438
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Some women are funny that way...some of them like the "bad boys" so to speak. I remember I used to work with this guy a long time ago, and he always had gorgeous women hanging all over him all the time. When I asked him what his secret was, he told me "treat 'em like dirt and they come running...."...didn't make any sense to me, but it seemed to work for him. I don't know, maybe they view it as a challange or a project...maybe they think they will be the woman that makes him change....who knows....
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taryn
Platinum
Reged: 05/31/07
Posts: 2460
Loc: standing on the mountaintop! :...
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Quote:
Some women are funny that way...some of them like the "bad boys" so to speak. I remember I used to work with this guy a long time ago, and he always had gorgeous women hanging all over him all the time. When I asked him what his secret was, he told me "treat 'em like dirt and they come running...."...didn't make any sense to me, but it seemed to work for him. I don't know, maybe they view it as a challange or a project...maybe they think they will be the woman that makes him change....who knows....
well...interstingly it would appear that i, taryn, like the familiarity of a bad relationship! (thank you, my therapist)
and am drawn to someone who treats me a bit nice, a bit ickky, a bit nice, a bit ickier, and so on.
so.
therapy needs to increase, guy contact needs to continue being on a little to none basis until i get this
down.
you know,
at the very beginning of things,
my therapist told me i woudl have to watch that i wouldnt get back into another abusive, controlling relationship.
i thought she meant physically. but she meant overall.
now...to figure out what a nice guy is REALLY like....
maybe ill go read a book on this,
while i eat my yummy grilled chicken cooked just for one this fine evening.
....ummmm...anyone HAVE a book on this?????
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taryn.
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Armor
Platinum
Reged: 10/27/06
Posts: 438
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Curious...why do you honestly think you are drawn towards men like that?
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