KU girl
New
Reged: 05/28/08
Posts: 10
Loc: Denver
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We are going to be creating ours and I just don't want to leave any stone unturned. I realize each situationn is different, but wanted to see if you unfortunately left anything out or included anything I might be missing.
I'm referring to things like:
No out of country trips without prior approval from other parent
No overnight guests while son is with parent, until engagement or marriage
etc
Thanks in advance!
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lexigirl
New
Reged: 05/28/08
Posts: 6
Loc: California
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There are a couple books at the library that are all about parenting plans & agreements - not sure of the names but I looked at them when I was trying to write up a settlement. ( I'm still not divorced) My stbx went on a trip with his girlfriend while he was still living in our house, her husband died and they got money from a preschool garage sale to help her with finances and they all went to an amusement water park a couple of hours away and stayed in the same condo - my stbx and daughter on the pull out couch - her sons and her on the bed in the bedroom - with the door open so they could all see each other. The kids were 4,4, and 7 and my lawyer said I could not do anything about it. The stbx did not even give me an address in an emergency - only a cell phone number. So I am not sure about putting no sleepovers until engagement, marriage - some states don't care about that . I guess CA is one of them. I think in some states like NC, that would be a big deal.
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KU girl
New
Reged: 05/28/08
Posts: 10
Loc: Denver
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Thanks. I'll check and see what Colorado's laws on that are.
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faith4two
Platinum
Reged: 11/11/07
Posts: 353
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So that you're not creating any ill-will, I'd include days which you don't typically find on a state standard visitation order, such as: kid(s) are with you on your b'day and the STBX's on what I assume to be "his" b'day, alternating Valentine's, and alternating the child's birthday.
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gigi
Platinum
Reged: 11/06/06
Posts: 5141
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Realize that "no overnight guests" is VERY un-specific and could include not lettin gyour son have overnight visitors, not letting grandparents come stay, etc. It would also prevent you from taking vacations with a romantic interest and hsi family and your son.
Right of first refusal for babysitting is a good one. CHild stays in current school as long as one parent remains within the school district unless both parents agree to switch the school... and if the parents both move out of the district and can't agree on a new school district, it will be whichever is rated better.
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juliacinaz
Platinum
Reged: 02/03/08
Posts: 911
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I regret the during the week school nights visitation. Our daughter is too tired and then sleeps on my evenings. I do all the work...get her to bed and up for school etc while he plays santa dad. I wish I would have let him have her for 1 whole week so he could pay for lunches and get her to school and have some of the difficult parts. Instead I have most of the hard stuff and she just plays with him and eats fast food. I on the other hand make sure the homework is done and wash all the clothes etc. My ex has a brain injury and I do not trust him to have her for extended periods of time. He refuses to clothe her also so I have that expense but at least I know she is covered. He sent her to school once in a skirt with no panties on! WTF?
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Sarah1014
Platinum
Reged: 04/12/07
Posts: 2348
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I don't know if this really falls under the parenting plan but it's good stuff.
We didn't indicate that oral surgery was part of orthodontia. Now I'm possibly into it for half the oral surgery. Oral surgery may actually be medical, BUT--you wouldn't have this particular surgery done in an absence of braces!
Also: If there are college savings, indicate the current balance.
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leesie
Bronze
Reged: 05/28/08
Posts: 28
Loc: Wisconsin
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I would put in a stipulation about what to do if both parents do not agree.
Pick out a consuler or a mediator who you could give tie breaking authority to. I mean, how awful would it be if you wanted one thing, he another, and there was no way to decide who would win?
Thats the biggest thing I regret.
--------------------
I can't live within you-- David Bowie
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KU girl
New
Reged: 05/28/08
Posts: 10
Loc: Denver
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Thanks everyone!
I never thought about orthodontia/oral surgery, etc.
And I will make sure to define what I mean by overnight guest (any stupid skank [censored] who is there for the sole purpose of boinking my STBX.) I kid, I kid.
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Jada
Platinum
Reged: 06/02/07
Posts: 3463
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[quote]Thanks everyone!
I never thought about orthodontia/oral surgery, etc.
And I will make sure to define what I mean by overnight guest (any stupid skank [censored] who is there for the sole purpose of boinking my STBX.) I kid, I kid. [/quote]
Don't be surprised if you don't get that. Unless you live in the bible belt or he agrees to it, you aren't going to be able to impose your morality onto him.
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