taryn
Platinum
Reged: 05/31/07
Posts: 2460
Loc: standing on the mountaintop! :...
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cheaters are NOT in my happy book.
but at least you were honest in this thread.
that having been said....
what you do is what you do,
BUT
IF you have kids keep them away from the bf/om for this entire process.
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taryn.
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ssrachel
Platinum
Reged: 05/23/07
Posts: 2070
Loc: a better place :)
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Quote:
I am in the process of getting a divorce. Just a little back ground, I did cheat on my husband, but I an totally in love with this other person. My lawyer told me that I can not see him until after my divorce is final. I have read almost every post on here and it seems like everyone is dating other people before their divorce is final. I just wanted to know how many of you dated someone before their divorce was over and why is it that my stbx seems like the only one that wants to make that an issue. I live in Alabama and not sure if it is a no fault state or not and does it matter?
are you for real? you're not just talking about going to dinner with someone you just met after you and your husband split up. you CHEATED. you are way beyond "dating". give me a break.
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What you reap is what you sow and so it goes...
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taryn
Platinum
Reged: 05/31/07
Posts: 2460
Loc: standing on the mountaintop! :...
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Quote:
Quote:
t matter?
are you for real? you're not just talking about going to dinner with someone you just met after you and your husband split up. you CHEATED. you are way beyond "dating". give me a break.
thats pretty much what i was thinking,
but i figured at this point this chick really doesnt CARE about the wrongness of her choices.
so i figured it's best to focus on the kids.
(but here here to KAT!)
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taryn.
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derkacz78
Gold
Reged: 05/07/08
Posts: 190
Loc: MIchigan
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Quote "She says she met him about a week before we separated and that he had asked for her number but she didn't give it too him until a couple of weeks later. I think bull crap. I think she had met him before we were separated. No, I don't think she did anything physically, but I think she had been talking too him, etc." END QUOTE.
Mark,
Wow, That is word for word what my STBX told me. She called her new man while we were still together. She spoke with him several times for hours at a time. Then she left me and started screwing him. She never spent a second alone.
WOW, that is so scary how word for word that is.
QUOTE " I'd love to know how " survivable " a relationship like this could be . How could the other person fully trust their partner knowing they hadn't bothered to end their prior relationship before starting another . Seems like a recipe for future disaster to me ." END QUOTE.
theanswerguy,
I agree with this statment. I think my STBX told her new man that she was divorced and had left me along time ago. The funny part about my STBX's new relationship is that her new man, well, he is divorced as well, the best part, is that he left his wife because she was cheating on him. What makes him any better than his ex-wife now?? Look what he did to my STBX? My STBX may have not been happy, but I could have fixed it. She was complaining to him about us, and he just started working his magic. What an ass. Why would anyone fu*k their patient....
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mfergel
Platinum
Reged: 02/11/08
Posts: 1467
Loc: Richmond, VA
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My stbx's boyfriend is separated as well. He's only been separated since January. Rebound for both of them. What do you think the chances are of that relationship lasting? Plus, they both involved the children in their little relationship. They are both a couple of selfish assholes.
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Damn it's good to laugh again.
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derkacz78
Gold
Reged: 05/07/08
Posts: 190
Loc: MIchigan
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Mark,
I am not sure how long their relationship would last. If I look at myself, my relationship and marriage with my STBX was a rebound as well. I left a relationship and my STBX left a relationship and we hopped into bed with each other and she moved in my place in less than two weeks. We lasted four years, but we didn't last forever.
If your STBX has always had a track record of jumping relationships, then she will never have a successful marriage again. She will always run to the next best thing if it comes along. That is what my STBX told me. She, and I quote, said "I have always left my boyfriends for the next best thing." end quote. What a little slut.
My STBX may end up having a family with this guy. She may end up getting married to her new guy. But there is one thing that I do know. She will never be happy again untill she learns about herself. She needs time alone to figure herself out and what she wants. She is making to many changes to herself that aren't her style to fill the void of what happened to us. She must of really been hurt.
So the chances, again, it could be four years, or six months. I hope for the sooner than the later.
Dave
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mfergel
Platinum
Reged: 02/11/08
Posts: 1467
Loc: Richmond, VA
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yeah, I was a rebound guy as well for my stbx. Heck, I was more than a rebound guy. I think I was the cheat. She was living with the guy. The day he moved out I was already spending the night. Truth is, we flirted with each other while she was involved with that guy. I had even joked to her parents before we were even dating that I was going to marry her one day. Guess the joke was on me. Should have told them I was going to be divorced from her one day.
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Damn it's good to laugh again.
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PinkRose
Platinum
Reged: 07/09/07
Posts: 1828
Loc: Not sure!!!
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Well my STBX and his lady love were both married when
starting their romance. I am his 4th marriage and his
lady love is on her 3rd. I really do hope that he has
found his lifelong partner because at least another
family will not be wrecked. I don't want anyone to go
through what I have been through. So when they get
married 60 days after our divorce is final they will
be on marriage #9 between the both of them.
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I'm a living sunset... there's light in my bones. You can push me to the edge, but my will is stone!
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Samsung
Platinum
Reged: 06/14/07
Posts: 2210
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I hope there are no kids in this equation. My feeling is anyone that would cheat on their spouse, should not be a primary parent, as they have shown by example they will continue to put their own needs above their children. The only exception I see to this, is when a divorce takes more than a couple years.
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PinkRose
Platinum
Reged: 07/09/07
Posts: 1828
Loc: Not sure!!!
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My STBX's lady love has four kids that live with their
fathers. I have primary custody of my son from marriage
#1 (I am bellying up on marriage #2). My STBX used to
say to me all the time that he was #1, the dogs
were #2 and I was #3. I always thought he was joking but
I guess the joke was on me. My STBX has always married
women with children. That is the main reason why I
hope that his lady love is his everlasting love, I would
hate for more kids to go through the destruction that
he has caused in so many lives.
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I'm a living sunset... there's light in my bones. You can push me to the edge, but my will is stone!
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