chk
New
Reged: 05/29/08
Posts: 7
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My xh gets d12 with CP only 1 or 2 times per month for weekend visitation. Parenting Agreeement says for her to go his home every Thursday pm, but due to her medical and physical needs, during school yr. she does not go there. The problem: I am totally exhausted mentally and physically. I need a break. I want to date and move on with my life, but due to d12's needs, I can not. XH left me for a younger Korean woman (my ex-employee/friend/church member)over 2.5 yrs. ago. So now they have freedom to do whatever they want. But they don't want to care for her (because of her handicap-no walking, talking, still in diapers, must be fed, takes about one hour, etc.) Any suggestions?? I would appreciate any help. Thanks
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Jada
Platinum
Reged: 06/02/07
Posts: 3316
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Have you told your ex that to get her on Thursdays?
That is his court ordered time. If you have to hire a babysitter (obviously one who can handle caring for a child with a severe handicap) while you get out, you can ask that he pays for it. If he doesn't want to exercise his time, that is his choice. But he's going to have to compensate you for any extra expense you incur as a result of his not exercising his parenting time.
Does he take his week-ends with her? If so, use that time to do something for yourself that you enjoy doing.
If not, refer to above about Thursday nights.
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chk
New
Reged: 05/29/08
Posts: 7
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Yes, We talked about it. Her wheelchair does not fit in our cars and if she does not have it, the school bus will not transport her to school on Fridays.
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Jada
Platinum
Reged: 06/02/07
Posts: 3316
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Can he come to your place while you step out for a few hours?
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jersey girl
Platinum
Reged: 08/07/06
Posts: 1574
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That is his issue, not yours. YOu need the break. Is there a caregivers group near you? Your ex needs to take the child and find a way to accomodate that. Otherwise, you need to go back to court, get more support to allow you get respite care.
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chk
New
Reged: 05/29/08
Posts: 7
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He does not even want to look at me. Our oldest, s17 has to deliver and pick her up when he does take her. I think he feels quilty, but he says it is because I do not accept his new wife (the friend he left me for).I am not allowed to go to my home for the past 10 yrs. (before the affair). Soon our son will be going to US Air Force, so it's really going to be more difficult.Thank you for advice about the babysitter. i never thought about that.
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chk
New
Reged: 05/29/08
Posts: 7
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What is the "caregiver group"? I live in a small city in NC, and I don't know of any. I need to check into that. Is that like a support group? Do you know if I take him to court, will it cost me any money. He did not pay any CS for over one year, and forced me into an agreement on his terms, and one of those was that I would not take him back to court. I had an expensive, but lousy atty.
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theanswerguy
Platinum
Reged: 04/12/07
Posts: 2179
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What is the "caregiver group"?
>>>>>>>>> try here :
http://www.fullcirclecare.org/nc/welcome.html
--------------------
Never let your sense of morals get in the way of doing what's right. Isaac Asimov
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Jada
Platinum
Reged: 06/02/07
Posts: 3316
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How did he force you into an agreement?
File for a modification. There's nothing he can do about that. Insist that child support is per guidelines and includes respite care for when he refuses to take his child. I would also insist on it being garnished from his wages.
There's nothing he can do to force you to take less the state guidelines child support. He doesn't get to dictate the terms of the support.
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Samsung
Platinum
Reged: 06/14/07
Posts: 2108
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Does your daughter have a social worker? There should be all kinds of services available to your daughter, that would greatly help you out. If you don't, call social services, and set up an appointment.
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