jersey girl
Platinum
Reged: 08/07/06
Posts: 1629
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He may have forced you into an agreement, but the state will not uphold it when he is violating it and not taking his time with his daughter. You need to find out the minimum number the state will give you and then understand that you don't have "normal" and the state will give you more to help offset care issues.
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chk
New
Reged: 05/29/08
Posts: 7
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Many thanks to everyone for suggestions. Since we do not have a Social Worker, I need to go to DSS and start there. Maybe someone there can help me get more help and especially see to it that XH pulls his share of taking care of d12. Will DSS help me to get more Child Support even though I agreed not to request more. He only pays $1000 a month for 3 children--His salary is $80K per yr. I now realize he really got off way too easy. I was under stress and depressed when I agreed to everything. do you think I can modify that now?
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Jada
Platinum
Reged: 06/02/07
Posts: 3463
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All you need to do is file for a modificatin requesting that child support is set at the state guidelines and that he is ordered to pay a portion of medical expenses for the kids.
Are the kids in daycare? If so and your state is one that adds childcare onto child support, you will want to provide proof of childcare costs.
Have you looked into how much you would get if the state guidelines were followed?
He will probably fight this. But there's not much he can do to stop child support from being set at guidelines. Unless you let him.
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orbitlynn
Bronze
Reged: 02/22/08
Posts: 25
Loc: wisconsin
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check into respite care in your area. most states have it it is free and does not go by income. respite care is babysitters especially trained to care for children with disbilities so the parents can have a break.
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stacylynn
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ttina
Platinum
Reged: 02/28/08
Posts: 398
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It is summertime... there are kids out of school/college. What town in NC (I live there too and there are resources through the major universities) You should be able to get a regular day "off" I would definately talk to the CSE office and see about modification for child support... and you may even be able to get it life long for your daughter because she is not going to magically be independant at age 18. If school isn;t out, talk to your child's assistant in her class, s/he may be looking for a little supplimental income over the summer, this would give you time to yourself.
Good luck
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chk
New
Reged: 05/29/08
Posts: 7
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I live in Greenville, home of East Carolina University. The problem is paying for the assistant. Today, I asked XH to take d12 for the summer so I can work. He got PO and said that either I keep her 100% of the time --ALL the time OR He and Korean wife would do that but I would never ever see d12 again nor would I get CS anymore. I love my d12, but I need time to work, build my career because unlike "other woman" I DID NOT STEAL a husband/ father with a good job. I have NO ONE who can support me. I must start over and that is what I am trying to do. It is very hard and sometimes depressing, like tonight. Any suggestions? Many thanks.
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Jada
Platinum
Reged: 06/02/07
Posts: 3463
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Get a job. But before you do that, hire someone who is qualified to care for your special needs child. File for a modification of child support to have this childcare added on. Your ex may be pissed, but he's the father and he's not stepping up to the plate. As a result of his actions, your expenses will increase. He should pay for that.
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ttina
Platinum
Reged: 02/28/08
Posts: 398
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Do you have support through the state? Because CS includes child care.... and at 12 most kids wouldn't need it, but with your situation, you can enforce his support to allow you to work.
Don'r listen to his threats to never allow you to see DD.... it is an empty threat and unless you beat the child you have nothing to worry about.
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chk
New
Reged: 05/29/08
Posts: 7
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I think he just wants to shift 100% of the burden on me. He knows that I would NEVER give her up! Totally!! I just need a break especially this Summer so I can focus on my career. She (d12) has a nurse that comes in for 4 hours per day for bathing, feeding, medications, diapering, etc. I am very grateful, sincerely love her nurses, but how can I work just 4 hours per day. Thank you for all the advice, especially the legalities. I need to do something differently. Perhaps I can get XH to pay for half of CC expenses.It definately won't be easy. But I must.
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