lostlogics
New
Reged: 06/01/08
Posts: 20
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I was wondering how this works out, my ex walked out on me, took our son, and I had our daughter. One month later he has a new house, and a new woman living with him who has two children of her own (going through a divorce as well apparently.) through out her divorce, she was deemed as an unfit mother currently battling over that with her ex. 5 months later I end up pregnant, by a different man. SO how does this exactly work out ? My daughter stayed with my ex for 3 months while i didn't have a job, and had no way of supporting myself or my daughter, and he works in the oilfield. I get her back and make a police report seeing that she had two bald spots on her head, and lice (said for 3 months) and a bruise as big as my thumb on her ear. I don't have 3500$ to hire a lawyer. So again, how does that all work out ??
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chatter box
Platinum
Reged: 11/09/07
Posts: 1304
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I think under Texas law if you are married then you stbx can claim your baby that is due as his even if it isn't. His choice I think. The lice isn't an issue at all. First lice live better in clean her then dirty and it can be very hard to get rid of them. It can take months. The bruise is always questionable but unless you have someone to give a statement as to what happened it isn't even worth bringing up. It is one small bruise. Bald spots can be caused my lots of things including stress. As for the other woman being an unfit mother, that is something most lawers will claim to try and get more in court. It doesn't really mean anything at this point. Adultrery doesn't really mean anything in Texas courts either.
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lostlogics
New
Reged: 06/01/08
Posts: 20
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Yes, I read all of that in a different thread, what I'm wanting to know more about is that, how does the court justify it ? Technically he was the one to commit adultery by moving this new woman into his house at the second month of separation.. and I'm the one that is pregnant now, and no it's not the stbx's. Thx..
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katiebear22
Silver
Reged: 11/04/06
Posts: 62
Loc: Texas
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It doesn't matter... none of it does. Because Texas is a "no-fault" state, the divorce will be granted regardless, and "community" property will be split. Most stuff would be retro to the date of separation... Your baby is the responsibility of whoever the father is. Do not try to pin that one on your husband because I guarantee you will look like a fool when the paternity test proves it's not his.
Child custody and support are not at all related to whose "fault" it is, and it really won't help your case to talk about him being with someone else now, when you're carrying another man's child.
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"Success is not final, failure is not fatal: it is the courage to continue that counts."
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faith4two
Platinum
Reged: 11/11/07
Posts: 353
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lost, I can address paternity issues. Been there, doing that.
STBX is "presumed" father as you are either pregnant during the marriage, or 301 days post divorce. You have two options to take him OUT of that role - litigation to adjudicate the father, or, if he's willing to sign a denial of paternity form, and the bio dad willing to sign an Acknowledgement of Paternity form, you can then submit these to the Bureau of Vital Statistics at the hospital when filling out the birth certificate application, or send with a birth certificate amendment after the child is born.
Denial/Acknowledgement of Paternity forms must be signed in person at a "certified" location. The child support office is an example. They will not send you the form as part of the certification is that you are notified of your options to undo the action, and the timelines for such, as well as what your legal rights and responsibilities are for signing the forms.
Be aware, even if bio dad and you did DNA testing either in-utero (with amnioscentesis), or after the child is born, it's NOT enough to prove paternity without the presumed father's involvement according to the family law code. You either adjudicate, or do the paperwork. In fact, adjudication may require DNA testing if you didn't do it beforehand. Further, there is a list of requirements for a facility that does DNA testing.
Do a google search on Texas Family Law Code and/or the Texas Uniform Parentage Act. The process requirements and certified locations for Denial/Acknowledgement forms is part of the Texas Administrative Code.
It's all there, spelled out in black and white.
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lostlogics
New
Reged: 06/01/08
Posts: 20
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[quote] Do not try to pin that one on your husband because I guarantee you will look like a fool when the paternity test proves it's not his. [/quote]
Okay I was wondering because he's the one saying he's basically going to use it against ME in court thank you. I'm certainly NOT trying to pin this baby on him I want him to sign the denial of paternity asap, but I haven't told him yet, he just ASSUMES, as to why he assumes I don't know and he hasn't seen me nor any of his family since before i got pregnant I'm 7 months now thanks. I just wanted to know since he thinks it's his ammunition on "adultery" where it would stand if he tried. But it looks as if you are still saying I'm the piece of crap just because i got pregnant 5 months after he walked out on me and my daughter provided, he takes our son. When he had someone else living with him ONE month after. I don't intent on going to court blabbing about what is none of the courts business unless ultimately needed, and I will keep it calm and smooth when if I must answer to it. If something is said about me pregnant 5 months after separation, I will be saying "your honor i was a house wife for 6 years, the man walked out on me, I didn't have a job, I didn't have any support at that point." and leave it at that. Every freaking lawyer I've talked to says I have a strong case and quite of few them say I'm an open book, and I certainly don't offer more information than is needed, IMPO... that is a fact, not "information." so...
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lostlogics
New
Reged: 06/01/08
Posts: 20
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Thanks faith4two, it was your post I read in the first place, and you seem to be paying attention to what I'm saying beside thinking I'm a piece of crap.
The bio father is all willing to sign the paper for his baby, and I really have no doubts that the stbx will sign the denial. Thanks for the inner information, and processes. Like i said last time i talked to the stbx (and haven't since then because he cussed me out like a dog which is recorded on a micro recorder) accused me of being pregnant when he had no ideas. Like it was some sort of ammunition for him in court. So trying to find out where I was standing in that situation if it was brought up, because I'm not a lawyer I don't know how it looks in the eyes of a judge when it's blurted out "she got pregnant by another man!!!" when he had another woman moved in with him a month after the separation. If it all came down to it, the stbx's sister in law at one point out right told me if I needed to bring her into court, she would be on my side, but I don't plan on anything like that going down, she also is the one who contacted ME due to my babies teling me " you need to get your daughter at the very least she's had lice for 3 months he hasn't taken her to the dr. and she's always dirty never has clean clothes on." I told her about the bruise on my daughters ear, and she outright told me, that my son has been having them on his ear as well (3 as a matter of fact to her recollection) CPS was also called on my son on the behalf of the school he was enrolled into, because he kept "having accidents" on himself, and my son was fully potty trained at 3 yrs old knew how to say potty and the works, and apparently, if after 9 months of being in school the school then decides to call CPS on the stbx then what happened? They don't just outright call CPS for nothing in those cases, the childs parents are notifies first, I know and the sister in law knows BECAUSE her son had the same problem, and she was contacted more than just ONCE for the incident, and they never called CPS on her for it either,I'm told to leave this all at the door, but this isn't anger, this is plain and simple fact. if anyone starts with the "he said she said, he did she did" it will be my stbx. Not me, my whole state of mind is " go in get it done we argued enough during the marriage, why keep prolonging it especially when this man thinks he's an innocent angel." Which IMHO, thats why he ran out and got a lawyer because he knows he would, and would be shot down in an instant, and I'm sure with everything he says, his lawyer is telling him to shut up, and let the lawyer handle it. I talk to his lawyer more than he does, I am the one who gives the lawyer the information, and I'm the one his lawyer contacts when he needs information about the children. Now, doesn't that just paint a lovely picture. My only concern about the whole thing is that, STBX's lawyer is an EX judge of a small town/county, who knows all the judges on the golf course.
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lostlogics
New
Reged: 06/01/08
Posts: 20
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a question about the community property since it has been brought up, He let his truck go back, I let my truck go back, I had a mustang prior to marriage, which was sold because i had no money, there was 2 boats and 3 motorcycles, the verbal agreement between me and him was i get the two boats he gets the 3 motorcycles. I had to sell a boat, for money, and I will most likely have to sell the other boat for money. the only thing there is now, is the house, and I get ALL the letters for it because they can't contact him even though I have given the loan company the address and phone number to the stbx I still get letters. It was foreclosed on, last letter I got stated that the house would be auctioned off last year during november. So what "community property" is there left ? I have a house now that I was lucky enough to run into the deal, and it isn't in my name on the sole fact that I was told he could reclaim it as "community property" but i find that to be completely absurd considering he has a new and better house than I do, and I could turn around and do it to him as well. SO what else would fall under the "community property" ? I already gave him the pictures that belong to his grandmother, I split all of our pictures of our children, and any pictures of him or his family within that picture, his grandmother gave me a ring when we first married because he didn't have any money to get me one, that was returned. His father broke into our house the night that my stbx left *thankfully I called family and they came and got me asap, basically demanded that I get out of the house* whom stole air looms of my mother who had passed away two months ago that was to go to my son and daughter, and completely trashed the house while robbing it. Seeing as all the credit cards were in his name and I was an addition to them, and I couldn't ever talk to anyone without his "permission" or knowing his ss#. That is a responsiblity on his part not mine, btw I shredded them all the second day after he walked out on me. and none of them had more of a credit line than 250 *deletes rant* ... so what other community property is there ? or would be considered ?
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chatter box
Platinum
Reged: 11/09/07
Posts: 1304
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I do not see any real community property wearth dealing with. When did he get the house he is in now and is it in his name? The stuff that you had before you married or you recieved from relatives is yours and always will be. Can you prove those things (pictures)? If so, you might be able to get those things back or at least some compinsation for them. My suggestion for the boat is to sell it. If you hold on to it another couple months the boat season will be over and the value will go way down. If you wait until next spring to list it then you will have to store it and prep it for winter (even in the south). Then you will have to spend more money to clean and get it running to sell it.
One thing that neither of you should have done was let the house go into auction. You both should have deeded the house back to the lender. You wouldn't get to keep the house but at least your credit score wouldn't be so bad.
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lostlogics
New
Reged: 06/01/08
Posts: 20
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He wasn't cooperative with the house, and I couldn't afford to pick up the 700 payments on it being a housewife and no job at that time, and it was already behind because he put the payment off to buy a lil "travel trailor" you put onto the back of a truck for when he was "out of town working" and they kept coming after me over it because they said they couldn't get a hold on him. Yes I have pictures of what was mine and what I didn't have pictures of my brother can vouch for me saying that it was mine before we married. He tried to get my car but I had already sold it and told his lawyer when he brought it up, "it was mine before the marriage." and the lawyer just said "oh okay what about the boat." and I told him that the verbal agreement was that he got the 3 motorcycles I got the boats, and it was left at that.
I don't know if the house he is in now is in his name, and he got it after he left me like maybe 2 weeks after. There was some other stuff that his dad stole that I didn't get back that was my mothers jewelery, and the new quarters collection that she had been saving for my son it was full to the year 2006, and the video camera that his dad stole from the house, even though he got it back for me, had the tape in it with his dad on it, saying " oh yeah it's good nothing wrong with it." etc.. but I don't know if I can have my stbx reimburse me for such things since it was his dad.
>>>edit<< as for the boat, I plan on keeping it, and it's still winterized, my parents used to own a boat business so I know about it. But if I could sell it for 4k or 5k I most likely would so I could get out of the money slump, I sold the car for "junk" just to pay a freaking light bill and have food.
Edited by lostlogics (06/04/08 03:32 PM)
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