mistake#2
Platinum
Reged: 07/19/06
Posts: 3136
Loc: Florida
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[quote]You said:
Physical abuse should be easy to prove.
My response:
Really? Physical abuse doesn't always leave marks.
You said:
Why have you letting this go on?
My response:
You may want to read some of her history before making remarks like the above. [/quote]
You'd think that it would be easier to prove, if the kids were believed and the marks were visible by the time I got them back, if there were marks in the first place. This is where the frustration comes in...if he has child for several weeks but only leaves scratches, bruises or marks during the first week and doesn't follow court order to bring child to daycare then by the time the child is back they are gone so the proof is gone. There have been several times that there hasn't been any marks left...doesn't mean the abuse didn't happen. There has also been at least one time where an officer refused to look at the scratches and bruises on my daughter and from 1300 miles away I could not do anything other than to make sure my daughter was safe at that very moment.
The children have disclosed the abuse to two family counselors, one who believed them and helped to document it and one who was ex's counselor who told the kids they were lying...the kids have also disclosed it to one police officer who then lectured dad and daughter about better communication and "behaving" without making a proper full report...and the kids have also disclosed it to a CPS worker, which has ended up being their word against his with no outcome as of yet.
He is ordered to continue counseling, whether he does it or not I really don't know. Even if he does, he obviously told a previous counselor that what the kids were stating was a lie...so that's pretty pointless anyhow.
His daughter confronted him and he stated that he would not discuss "discipline" with a child.
He's in denial.
I'm frustrated and just trying to keep the abuse at a minimum since I'm powerless to stop it entirely.
I'm debating between doing nothing in regards to his letter, or replying in the context that Gigi suggested on the other post...
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**2 1/2 weeks to go...should start counting down the days**
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movingon2
Platinum
Reged: 12/06/07
Posts: 209
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Mistake#2:
he is not worth the price of the certified postage. Ignore him.
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Jada
Platinum
Reged: 06/02/07
Posts: 3239
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I would go with Gigi's suggestion.
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EZmark
Platinum
Reged: 06/04/07
Posts: 292
Loc: Florida
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"ex's counselor who told the kids they were lying...the kids have also disclosed it to one police officer who then lectured dad and daughter about better communication and "behaving" without making a proper full report...and the kids have also disclosed it to a CPS worker, which has ended up being their word against his with no outcome"
And you wonder why I'm bitter about evil people being able to manipulate this system, the mental health workers and police? I have said it before, the only place you will find justice is in the dictionary. With certain types of people the mafia had better solutions. Your X would be pursuaded to keep his hands to himself if he knew what it felt like to be on the receiving end!
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mistake#2
Platinum
Reged: 07/19/06
Posts: 3136
Loc: Florida
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[quote] With certain types of people the mafia had better solutions. Your X would be pursuaded to keep his hands to himself if he knew what it felt like to be on the receiving end! [/quote]
He was abused as a child by his father...but he thinks that as long as he isn't punching the kids in the face with a closed fist that anything else he does isn't abuse. Sad isn't it.
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thesecondwife
Silver
Reged: 06/01/08
Posts: 53
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While no one would ever say I was physically abused, the verbal abuse was horrific. It has taken me years to get those tapes out of my head.
I agree abuse doesn't have to leave a physical mark. There are all types.
While I do not know your history, it seems to me unless, it is an official document from the court stating a change in visitation, the certified letter is useless. You could reply that when he gets a law degree and becomes a judge you might listen, lol.
You know what is best for your children. Sounds like he doesn't but wants to execute his rights without going through the proper channels.
I hope your children have a great summer whether they see Dad or not.
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taryn
Platinum
Reged: 05/31/07
Posts: 2126
Loc: Hell...but im coming back up, ...
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[quote], the verbal abuse was horrific. It has taken me years to get those tapes out of my head.
[/quote]
no KIDDING.
those tapes play loud and clear in my head no matter how much therapy, how many books i read, or how much i try and replace them.
they play and play and play.....
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taryn.
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