malone
Platinum
Reged: 12/30/07
Posts: 2027
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[quote]You didn't say anything inappropriate or even attacking. You just didn't say what he wanted you to say. Read his history here. I think you will find that he is on the wrong board. And that he's the one who is narcissistic.
He just likes to think of himself as the victim here, which he isn't. If anything, his wife belongs on the domestic violence board to help support her through the abuse that she is going through. [/quote]
Thanks Jada. I've just read his history here. I had no idea. Tiredofnagging shouldn't be here. His wife should. I'm stunned by the tirades about his wife and the abusive comments handed out to anyone on the forum who has a different point of view to his own, especially the women of the forum. It explains much about the subject of this thread. I hope others on the forum will go back and read his comments from earlier threads too.
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tiredofnagging
Gold
Reged: 05/09/08
Posts: 170
Loc: Las Vegas, NV USA
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OK, ladies. So you think I'm the sick one and my wife should be here because of the abuse I've heaped on her AND you hens have said nothing to be called out on. Yada yada yada.
Well the first useful thing I've heard from either of you was to bug out. That would be delightful. You see (and yes read my posts) criticism over a situation you have no intimate knowledge of is not only worthless, but not wanted or needed. Glad you have apparently figured it out. You remind me of 2 complaining wives in their backyards b*tching about their husbands.
So go away into the night or wherever it is you go. Have a nice trip. And don't let the door hit ya on the way out.
You see, some on this forum identify with my situation (the one you claim must not exist at all), and their input is both useful and appreciated.
Last thing, my intent was not to insult you arbitrarily. I just wanted you to go away and hope someone out there had something meaningful to say.
Can't beat honesty. Don't know your situations cause I don't have the time to analyze your posts, as if that makes me an expert. On the other hand, show me your professional credentials and maybe I'll listen.
And by the way, regarding my wife, everything I've said about her actions, what she's said, etc is true. Yet I've never cheated, lied or struck her. I'm sorry if that's been your experience.
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This Too Shall Pass
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tiredofnagging
Gold
Reged: 05/09/08
Posts: 170
Loc: Las Vegas, NV USA
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[quote]My boyfriend had those issues with the X. He never knew which personality would surface. I never thought of it that way.
Good luck to you. I was married 13 years to a alcoholic borderline personality disordered person. I know what you're going through.
Again, good luck! [/quote]
Thank you Sarah. Your caring is not only obvious but appreciated. I'm no expert but you have a friend and kindred spirit if you need someone to bounce off of. You will not be judged by this person.
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This Too Shall Pass
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stoltz
Platinum
Reged: 01/29/07
Posts: 1493
Loc: Texas
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Yeah, it's tough, but I know one day there will be some light at the end of the tunnel. With three young kids, the last thing on my list is a divorce right now. It would be destructive to the kids and with the court system the way it is, I'd probably be living in a cardboard box under a bridge for the next 15+ years (if not in jail). If I knew my wife would be civil with a divorce, I'd be in a lawyer's office today. But she has mentioned to me on several occasions that if we ever got a divorce, she would do absolutely EVERYTHING in her power to ruin me - including making sure I'd never see the kids again.
At first, I would only listen - obey - the best I could, while a full gambit of emotions ran through me. "This is the woman I loved so dearly just a few short years before?" But as time slowly crept on, I began to pick myself up and started taking a more assertive stance, because I knew IF things were to end between us and IF things would start developing her way afterwards, I would use every means possible to fight back. And, I let her know it.
So, I suck it all up and bide my time. As the last one leaves the nest, I know my NEW life will have just begun.
BTW, I could care less what people here think of me as a person. Honestly, I've never met any of them in person and I doubt I ever will. They can agree with what I say or disagree - it is their decision. Life has hardened me to the point where being PC to keep the water's calm is a fruitless struggle in a finite existence. Would people rather me be fake or be honest? It's funny, because I've gotten many PM's from people who would rather tell me privately than publicly they respect my honesty (although, they may disagree with what I said). And then I've gotten some other PM's ...
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malone
Platinum
Reged: 12/30/07
Posts: 2027
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[quote]You remind me of 2 complaining wives in their backyards b*tching about their husbands. [/quote]
How interesting that you are concerned with how other people come across. It would seem that when it comes to yourself, you have no absolutely self-awarenesss at all. Like I said before, your comments speak VOLUMES.
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tiredofnagging
Gold
Reged: 05/09/08
Posts: 170
Loc: Las Vegas, NV USA
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[quote] I couldn't tell you if that's the case so I'll butt out. [/quote]
So what happened to that notion? I have said repeatedly that your judgmental comments were not needed. So I was under the impression that we agreed to disagree, but yet you both are still here. Which part don't you understand? Even others have stated they don't care for your holier than thou bullsh*t. Can't you read?
I could go on and on but even this must come to an end. I will post about my personal and spousal issues because I can. And there are people out there who are genuinely caring and offer sincerity. However I can't stop either of you from wasting time with your drivel. I guess to you and others like you it must be like watching a car wreck. Guess you can't take your eyes off it. So that makes you rubberneckers in cyberspace.
Again and for the last time, I ask you to try to be helpful to those of us who are looking for help. If you find that impossible and you can't say anything good, don't say anything. And try to remember the golden rule. Somewhere along the line I'm sure someone told you about it.
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This Too Shall Pass
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tiredofnagging
Gold
Reged: 05/09/08
Posts: 170
Loc: Las Vegas, NV USA
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[quote] Yeah, it's tough, but I know one day there will be some light at the end of the tunnel. [/quote]
You hang in there, be strong and remember that no matter what she's done, she cannot take away your identity and self respect.
I got your back, my friend.
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This Too Shall Pass
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stoltz
Platinum
Reged: 01/29/07
Posts: 1493
Loc: Texas
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You didn't say anything inappropriate or even attacking. You just didn't say what he wanted you to say. Read his history here. I think you will find that he is on the wrong board. And that he's the one who is narcissistic.
He just likes to think of himself as the victim here, which he isn't. If anything, his wife belongs on the domestic violence board to help support her through the abuse that she is going through.
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ROFLMFAO! Jada to the rescue for the woman (yet again)!
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stoltz
Platinum
Reged: 01/29/07
Posts: 1493
Loc: Texas
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Many people cannot understand the situation such as ours. It's frustrating to reason (and even communicate) to a spouse who flip-flops their stance and emotions virtually on a minute-to-minute basis. It comes to a point where instead of even trying to communicate, you deal with situations the best you can. If it results in the spouse having a verbal assault at your expense later, then you cross that bridge when it comes. It may further strain the relationship, but - at least in my case - the relationship had long ago stretched itself beyond repair by her actions, so it makes no difference now, anyway.
If you haven't tried counseling, it may be an avenue worth persuing. For me, I had two prior marriages before this one in which *I* did everything possible to salvage the relationship in which the woman cheated - including counseling - but nothing helped in the end. I should have learned after the first one, but I was brought up (read: brainwashed) to respect, admire, and even worship the opposite sex (what man isn't?), but it has taken me three marriages to finally understand that it was all a complete and utter lie. I'm not saying there aren't women out there who are appreciative to this type of man, but life's too short and finding the proverbial needle just ain't worth it, IMHO. Add to that an obviously biased court system (and a society that supports it) and that only adds to the dilemma.
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malone
Platinum
Reged: 12/30/07
Posts: 2027
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[quote] Constructive advise is not only appreciated but necessary. Otherwise I feel like pounding some sense into her. [/quote]
Well Stolz, I'm not sure what you think there is to laugh about. I tend to see both sides and have certainly stood up for 'the guys' in my time here.
But I won't take up the side of someone who says the kind of thing that was said above. I didn't think you were the kind of person who would do that either.
If you're going to, I sure hope for his wife's sake that you have some constructive advice.
The alternative isn't all that great is it?
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