Is it right for a man to walk away from his children w/ o any regards that they completely adore him. 3 MONTHS go by and they don't even see him, he phones when he feels time to do so, they aren't comfortable w/ calling him because GF stepped in on 1 phone call as he was talking on the speaker phone w/ the kids and told our 9 yr old, " don't call him and you don't need to bother him w/your stuff, then she hung up." he didn't respond to that at all. So, now the kids don't phone him and neither do they pick up the phone when he calls (whenever that happens) He made a comment one afternoon when he phoned and our 11 yr old answered "IF YOUR MOM DOESN'T WANT YOU TALKING TO ME THEN FINE." hE FAILED TO ACCEPT HIS ACCOUNTABILITY IN WHAT HAd OCCURRED with his GF. I told him the kids aren't getting any negative feedback from me at all, I leave it up to him to build up his relationship w/ them from this point. tHIS MAN HELD THESE KIDS AS TIGHT AS HE COULD FOR MANY YEARS ( MARRIED 20YRS..OLDEST CHILD 16 YOUNGEST 9)and he decided to walk into another relationship w/ a woman , her 2 kids, and her Mother all living in the same house now. But, when I found he had been w/ her I asked him to leave and soon filed for a divorce. I have been very amicable throughout the entire ordeal. I don't intend to allow him to change my mentality for any reason. I have moved on, leaving the negativity behind.
Part of my and my stbx wife's problem is that her father did not protect her from the new stepmom. Stepmom wanted dad all to herself and let it be known. This lead my wife to withdraw and she survived the life. She learned to keep her feelings to herself. Combine that with me who never had boundries growing up. I stepped all over her and she held it in until she could not any longer.
My point is that the kids need to be loved by both parents and any new folks. If you can't love a child you really need to look at who you are, is this the person you want to be? Do you want to be with someone who can't love your children? The children are hurting enough... grow up. I expect my stbx and I will have others in our lives, at least mine better at least respect my kids. I have no use for a woman who's mean to any kid... I don't care now hot she may be.
If you want to stop the cycle of divorce in your family you need to pay attention to the kids and educate they to your mistakes. I will have no secrets with my kids. I want them to marry once and for life.
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