Divorce Support Forums: need help, what will happen?

Hello, my name is Crystal and I am 22 years old. I have a 2 1/2 year old daughter whom I have custody of and the NCP has supervised visitation to my discretion. I have some questions, and I'm not sure where to start...
I'll start from the beginning. When I met my boyfriend, we had only been dating for a few months before I found out that I was pregnant. Before I found out I was living with my mother he was living with his. Well right before I found out- he was picked up on some weapon charges and other things. He called me from jail stating that he had asked a friend to give him a ride home, they got pulled over there were a ton of weapons and drugs in the car, BAM. He was in trouble. He clearly denied the weapon was his and claimed that he was wrongfully accused of his charges. He said he was in the wrong place at the wrong time. At that time I had no reason not to believe him. I was having his baby and I thought that you know we would be happy and raise our baby together and the charges would eventually be dropped or whatever. I moved in with him, supporting what he told me about his charges. His family did and so did his grandparents. They hired him a lawyer because everyone felt that it was a total misunderstanding and Ben (NCP) shouldn't have to pay for someone else's crime. While we awaited trial I moved in with him and his mother so that we could save as much money as we could while I was pregnant and have our own apartment by the time she was born. Things started off well at first, we were both working, saving money, etc. He was later convicted of his felony charge though and put on probation. It didn't take very long for things to turn sour. Shortly after I moved in and his conviction he became very abusive (not physically though), possessive and controlling over me. He was a very jealous person, I wasn't allowed to hang out with my friends, talk to any MALE people, anything. He was abusing drugs behind my back, wasn't going to work, drinking all the time, all the while I worked 2 jobs my whole pregnancy. This behavior progressed slowly and only escalated after giving birth to our daughter. Every time I tried to leave him he would threaten that he was going to kill himself. I knew I had to get away from him.

I moved out of his house when our daughter was 2 months old. I got so tired of what our relationship had become. Tired of the names, and the incredible jealousy, drinking, laziness, incredible anger. --- everything. I always hoped that if we were to split that things would be easy to deal with. He always said if we did he would help me out,& be there for her. After I split he made my life hell. Of course I know that he has the right to see her. I tried to be really cooperative with him about visitation, in fact I needed his help. I had to go work. He had no job. We would arrange times for him to baby-sit her, and he blow me off, just to do it...to be a jerk. We'd have arrangements, I would call him, he tell me that he couldn't take her because he had sh*t to do, or he had plans, there was always something, especially when he found out I was dating someone else. It got to a point that if I called in at work anymore, I was going to loose my job. Ben would continue to call me at work and harass me about when he got to see his daughter, just stupid things calling me names, pranking me. And when he did have her he wasn't visiting with her, he would have his mother watch her. Which I totally disagree with. His mother is disabled and constantly on medication- oxycotten, perkiset, codeine- things of that nature. She sits in her room all day in her bed and does nothing- hardly ever active and abuses cocaine as well. Almost 2 years ago she took her meds, and got so coked out she forgot and took them again. She literally died and was rushed to the hospital. Lucky the dr's were able to save her life. okay- NOT someone I want watching my daughter! Anyway it was almost like Ben didn't even care about having our daughter it was more of a way for him to keep track of my life. Since I did not have time to play childish games with him, and did have a daughter to raise. I made arrangements with his grandmother to be able to drop her off every other week for 2 days. Ben would pick her up at his grandmothers, and I would pick her up 2 days later from his grandmothers. Ben and I really never talked at all. I ignored him most of the time. I changed my number 3 or 4 times because he somehow always managed to get a hold of it. At this point I just hoped that Ben get over the fact that I left him the fact that he had no control over me anymore. I hoped he would stop his efforts to make things difficult for me and move on with his life. I thought it was the right thing to do for our daughter and figured it would pass. My grandmother always told me just ignore him , he's being childish it'll pass" I was wrong. Not only did Ben continue with the harassing and prank phone calls, but now his Mother was also harassing me threatening to take me to court and get custody of our daughter, or try get me fired from my job if they didn't get her when it was convenient for Ben (because I was dating someone that I worked with)My car was broken into stereo and amp stolen, constantly vandalized and eventually stolen; and eventually started leaving me death threats on my phone in a disguised voice saying he was going to kill me or I was a fu**in bitc* and I was going to die. Obviously I new it was him. At this point I had it. I have to move, buy a new car, and was looking for a new job that way he didn't where I worked or anything about me. I contacted Metro Volunteer Lawyers to help me obtain custody and arrange visitation through the court. I made Ben verbally aware of the action I was taking. At this point I told him that he could visit his daughter every Monday and Tuesday his grandmothers home until further arrangements were made by the judge. He could not take her anywhere. I told him I was sick of all the games. I truly believe that he has physiological issues that underline his personality. One minute he can be a civil guy, but the next he's crazy. It was like an infatuation with me and now al he wanted was revenge. Of course Ben denied all of the things that were happening to me. I have no real hard evidence that he did all of these things to me. I have never had anyone do anything harmful or mean let alone prank me. It all started after leaving his home. I've tried tracing his calls back to him, my phone company sucked and wan no help. When my car got stolen, I was in the hospital when the sheriff called to tell me it was found right down the street from where he lived I tried explaining to the police office my situation, and was real jerk. He could care less, would not finger print my car, said it was already in the impound and told me to call him if I found anything in my car that wasn't mine. um okay. My mom and sisters have witnessed and heard his messages and death threats. I have witnesses to things just no hard proof that this is the way he is. Anyway to make long story short (well kinda)Ben was no where to be found after me making arrangement for supervised visitation until we went to court. He would come visit her while she was at his grandmothers, but then disappear, no phone number address nothing. So I called to speak with one of our city sheriffs to try and get some advice, oh and to report that my car was vandalized AGAIN!!. I explained him my situation, and he pretty much told me that everything I say is "here say." I couldn't really prove anything. I just him to leave me alone!!!! The sheriff ran his name, saw that he had a warrant for violation of probation. And went to prison for 6 months. From the very first day he went to jail NOT ONE out of the ordinary thing happened to me. It was only obvious it was him. He was finally served with his court papers 5 months later from filing- now that he was incarcerated. He received the status conference notice to appear, did not, and received notice to appear for the hearing and did not. I asked for supervised visitation and for full custody. Due to his substance abuse, abuse and the fact that all he did was drink. Also that he obtain a life insurance plan with our daughter named as the beneficiary. I was awarded everything. He did not show up. This is where I am now. Ben has just recently filed a motion for visitation claiming that he would like the court to review the case because he did not receive his paperwork until August and was incarcerated and was unable to attend. Our hearing was held in November and he was released the day before our hearing. He was well and able to attend this. Also he's trying to justify the fact that I lived with him before he obtained his weapon charge and lived with him until the baby was born. SO WHO CARES? For one I did not live with him when he received his charges, by the time was convicted yes I did. But hello he obviously lied to me and it's only clear he was convicted because he was guilty. How do I know he doesn't carry around a weapon now? He cannot be trusted. He didn't tell the truth then, why would he now. I honestly have no idea what he is capable of anymore. He also put in there that he and his parents had a good relationship with our daughter for the first year and that I just stopped letting him see her. NOT true. He has always been able to see his daughter, just to my discretion. He made things the way they are now whether he wants to admit it or not. I have given him every opportunity to comply & work with me instead of against me and he still refuses to do so. He had his chance to speak in front of the judge and did not show. Not my problem. Now 6 months after his release from prison and our hearing he has decided that now he feels that he should have the right to speak on behalf of this matter? He also claimed in his motion that I tell our daughter that he is not her dad. Our daughter is 2. She calls him and my fiancé "daddy." It's only natural for her to assume that my fiancé is her "daddy" He has been the only male constant in her life since she was 3 months old. He helps to support her and care for her when she is ill, plays with her, and comforts her. I have not "trained" her to do so but I don't feel I should correct her. When she is old enough she'll understand who her birth father is. "daddy" is a word. And she doesn't know any better. Just because she knows both of them as her "daddy" doesn't mean I tell her he's not her dad. I responded to his motion and said a lot of what I'm saying now. My question is what do you think the judge will have to say? I understand that Ben has the right to see his daughter and he does. I just can't trust him. Oh and since being released from prison, he has no job, had one for like a month, he is already due to have another baby here in about 4 months; And is in a much more abusive relationship with Ben than I ever was. They hit each other, constantly fighting like cats and dogs. Has given her at least 3 blacks eyes. He was recently asked to move out of his grand mothers home due to his abusive relationship and the fact that he doesn't want to do anything. NO work lazy. Along his dad, who is an alcoholic really bad. And now all 3 of them live in a small apartment, with his girlfriends 2 year old , a baby on the way, and the violence, alcohol. Not somewhere I want my daughter to be. Again I have no hard proof of his abusive relationship, but his family knows, his sister definitely, and one of my sisters. His family won’t testify, they’re his family and won’t get involved. It’s his word against mine. I just feel like he needs some help- medication, anger management, counseling, something before I even consider unsupervised visitation. What will they say about him not complying with his court order? And not showing up. Are they just going to slap him on the hand or what? I have to take time off of work again to deal with this crap. He needs to be responsible too. I’m not the only one that made this baby. I started off with nothing and have had to work really hard to get where I am. Does that not count for anything? He got to go play while I’ve had to grow up and take care of our daughter, why does he get the choice.