Divorce Support Forums: Need Help, and advice. Im tired!

I really dont know where to begin.
My son is 8, he wants to live with me. He is very mature for his age, and when I ask why, he says "it just feels like home daddy"
I've ventured in to this deeper, and talking with my son, he doesnt like it at his moms house. He loves his mom, but his mom has a very different way of raising him, and comes from a very different up-bringing. Of course there are more reasons... All he has ever known is me and his mom living seperatley. I have joint custody, and it has truley been a night mare with the mom! Especially as he gets older. The mom hates how close my son and I are. Absolutley despises it. Ive always been there for every school event, sporting event, P/T conference etc. He knows his dad will always be there. Of course things go deeper but we will nto get into that just yet.

My problem(s)
I have everything documentened. From her leaving him at school, and "forgetting" that she was supposed to pick him up, 2 TIMES! School had to call me..(same schedule for 7 years) to the recent (last 5 months) saying very mean things about me, and getting him in the middle of our disagreements.

She has and will refuse to listen to our son about his wishes. Every summer he asked if he could go to school where I live and live with me. I drive 45 minutes 1 way every day, for a week, every other week, to take him to school. She lives less than 1 mile from his school and he rides the buss... This is also aainst the decree, as she moved to another state, thats in the immediate tri-state area but still against the decree, and is much much farther than she claimed. She said it was closer, and used the schools and the fact that they needed to move on the house before it sold, so my son would have a nice house and a big yard to play in, yada yada.. Boy was I the Joke of the day!...

Im curious to know if a court would recognize his wishes. He is 8 going to be 9, and as I've said, I could probably get a custody reversal based on the evidence I have, that goes against the divorce decree. But I would rather not tap into that, as it will get very nasty for her, drawn out, and countless dollars.
As recent as yesterday, she is denying my fathers day visitation weekend, saying it does not start until saturday evening. In the decree it says fathers day weekend will start on the weekend of Fathers day. A weekend is defined as being Friday at 5pm. She never ever leaves me alone! Im so sick of the way she treats me, and now getting my son involved, while Im on the phone with him, her making him relay messages. He started crying just last night, saying make her stop this daddy. I couldnt even have a conversation with him, because she made him hang up the phone on me. She yells out what she wants to say to me while in the back ground, then makes him hang up, because she knows I will not hang up on my son.
Its sickening if you ask me! I need to do something. It is in his best interest to be with me and my wife. His behavior, his grades, school work, overall happiness, sporting events etc, is all held in place by my stability. I have been going through this for 8 years now, as his mom and me divorced when he was 14 months old. Im not sure If I need to shoot for a custody reversal hearing, or a hearing for the Judge to listen to my sons wishes. The examples above are just scratching the surface of what I have documented. I have some pretty shocking eveidence against her.

Any help would be great! I really need it. Im struggling to keep it all together. Ive done nothing but be a dad to my son. Raise him right, and love him every second I have him!.

Thanks
Kingdaddy