malone
Platinum
Reged: 12/30/07
Posts: 2026
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I'm curious. How long was it before you all started dating? How long after separation or divorce for those of you who waited for divorce? Was it nerve-wracking or easy?
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abbysfv
Platinum
Reged: 02/13/08
Posts: 716
Loc: LA, CA
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I got tired of moping around and felt like I was ready to start dating four months after stbx moved out. I'm very honest about telling them that I'm in the process of divorce and that I'm not looking for a long term relationship. So far I've had one nice date and one really strange one. It's just nice to know that there are other men out there that are interested in me. Plus the fun date was nice, good conversation, not turning into a romance but he's becoming a friend.
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My subconscious is smarter.
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liberated
Platinum
Reged: 10/02/07
Posts: 561
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Well, my divorce was final the same day he moved out...took the court order to get him out  It has been just over 6 months.....I had no intention of dating for a year, BUT a friendship turned into a dating relationship within a very short time (a couple of months...he helped with aftermath of moveout...then first date on Valentine's Day). Would I have CHOSEN this? probably not, But it's too far now to go back 
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Kimberley
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Cindy B
Platinum
Reged: 12/17/06
Posts: 3152
Loc: TX
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I had my first date -- actually one of those look/see coffee shop meetings with an online match -- 5 months after my divorce was final, and 16 months after separation. But I'm not even sure you can count those things as REAL dates. My first date, where a man I knew actually called me and asked me to go out to dinner, happened 8 months after my divorce was final.
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"To love oneself is the beginning of a lifelong romance"
- Oscar Wilde
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julestn
Bronze
Reged: 06/14/08
Posts: 44
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Yes! I agree with you and I am sure you will get what you want.
Good luck!
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Dating Tips
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malone
Platinum
Reged: 12/30/07
Posts: 2026
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Hi Cindy. How'd your first real date go? Were you nervous? Or was it someone you knew well?
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Sarah1014
Platinum
Reged: 04/12/07
Posts: 2348
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I started dating 3 months afterward. When friends find out you're single again, they start setting you up.
This was the case. I dated him for 4 months. Found out he was another alcoholic like my X. ICK! We broke up.
Then I met a guy on eHarmony. He was ONLY separated. I thought I could handle it...NOT! He went back with his wife for one last shot. They were married 28 years.
Then I met my current boyfriend. This one through a friend as well. It's been the best. Third time lucky?
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malone
Platinum
Reged: 12/30/07
Posts: 2026
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Quote:
I dated him for 4 months. Found out he was another alcoholic like my X. ICK! We broke up.
Sarah, that was bad luck. I'd be a little like you. I'll have a lifetime sensitivity now to regular excessive drinking. I couldn't deal with it again either.
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Sarah1014
Platinum
Reged: 04/12/07
Posts: 2348
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It's SO nice to be able to leisurely have a couple glasses of wine with someone now. It never leads to babysitting. I hated that!
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desperate mommy
Bronze
Reged: 04/08/08
Posts: 25
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is dating someone considered cheating if you are only separated? i've been asked out a few times, but i think going out on a date would only complicate things....
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ssrachel
Platinum
Reged: 05/23/07
Posts: 2069
Loc: a better place :)
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my personal opinion is not dating until the divorce is finalized. depending on your situation, it could complicate things.
now if you live in my town, it won't matter when the divorce is final, there still won't be anybody worth dating around here.
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What you reap is what you sow and so it goes...
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Books29
Platinum
Reged: 02/20/08
Posts: 372
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I'm not dating until the divorce is final (another 8 months or so). Been separated for 4 months. Just don't want to do it until I'm ready and since I'm just separated, I can't get past the guilt. But, that's just my opinion.
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julestn
Bronze
Reged: 06/14/08
Posts: 44
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Well….there are many ways of getting to a solution…may be the one you say is not the most appropriate one….but whatever….;-)
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Dating Tips
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julestn
Bronze
Reged: 06/14/08
Posts: 44
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Hello, I certainly agree with you. Thank you very much for sharing your information. It was really very helpful for me.
Thanks for sharing your dating tips!
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Dating Tips
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numbnms
Platinum
Reged: 10/18/07
Posts: 708
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Can this guy be banned?
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Forget waiting for the storm to pass
Learn to dance in the rain
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