8562
Gold
Reged: 02/23/08
Posts: 100
Loc: Hicksville,IL
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Here's a question for you guys. You seem interested, say that you want to meet again, want to make me dinner, yada, yada...And then a couple of more e-mails/phone conversations then...No further contact. What gives? I'm not out for a long term relationship or one night stands and I make that clear at the very beginning, just looking for someone to hang out with. They all know that I'm separated and going through a divorce. I make that known also. Am I doing something wrong or are those just standard things that guys say to women? I'm just confused by this stuff.
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Deb
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Waiting to start another chapter in my life.
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heartbrokenguy
Bronze
Reged: 05/01/08
Posts: 42
Loc: Ohio
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I think those are standard things some people say to people. Long ago, before I started dating my stbx, I remember a few women doing this sort of thing to me. After the first date with one, she called to tell me it was the best date she had ever been on. Then, after one more date...no contact!
Hang in there...not everyone is like this!
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She looks like the real thing
She tastes like the real thing
My fake plastic love
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juliacinaz
Platinum
Reged: 02/03/08
Posts: 796
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Quote:
Hang in there...not everyone is like this!
Not everyone but many I am sorry to say. I hear the word NEXT all the time when talking to other single people. No one wants to take the time to get to know another person. If you say one thing they misinterpret or do not agree with you are out. Unfortunately as we get older our list of what we won't accept gets longer and longer. Leaving most at a loss to even get into the running.
Again...just my 2 cents of dating after divorce for 4 years.
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norcal
Platinum
Reged: 08/24/06
Posts: 964
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Just my take, and I’m not a guy…
I think most men, in the beginning stages, are schmoozing and romancing women with what they assume a woman wants to hear. In other words, what he was saying isn’t necessarily what he was thinking or feeling, but was said in attempt to win you over. Therefore, the lack of communication now probably wasn’t a result of something you may have done wrong. Odds are something else caught his attention and since he wasn’t emotionally invested with you, yet, he moved on.
Next, I say….
Plenty more where he came from!
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life may not be the party we hoped for, but while we're here we should dance..
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Kingssman
Gold
Reged: 05/09/08
Posts: 122
Loc: Peoria Illinois
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meh, men are horrible.
I though I'm no dating expert, I can't believe how some don't take the time to actually try to know someone.
Hell, I've came close to doing one of those "non contact" things, mostly because I was scared of how fast things went and I wasn't sure if I should be dating so soon into the divorce. But she texted me a sweet message, so I said "what the heck, one more date" did that date, was fun, and so far every date after has been nothing but fun fun fun.
cool thing is, with this date, i've been nothing but 100% honest, just as she's been 100% honest. so there's been no "telling what they want to hear" kind of stuff.
I did admit to her that I do enjoy making her smile and romancing is one of my favorite things to do.
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stoltz
Platinum
Reged: 01/29/07
Posts: 1478
Loc: Texas
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In other words, what he was saying isn’t necessarily what he was thinking or feeling, but was said in attempt to win you over.
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I think the sword cuts both ways here as women are just a susceptible to false/mixed meanings. Of course judging ones overall character in the first couple of dates is just about useless as EVERYONE tries to put on a faux front.
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taryn
Platinum
Reged: 05/31/07
Posts: 2125
Loc: Hell...but im coming back up, ...
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it's a 'testing' kind of deal.
after testing the waters, a person on EITHER side may choose not to do further exploring and call it a day.
someone once told me that being married for a long time makes people forget that dating is just that...dating...NOT a relationship for a very long time.
i dont think its personal.
a week or so ago someone crossed a 'line' have drawn in the sand that i didnt even know existed.
it was a simple text...not rude or anything that most people would even think about.
but for ME...it was no good.
so....DROP...that person wont hear from me again,
nor will i respond. it's not necessary it wasnt a 'relationhip' and the person didnt do anything 'wrong'.
im going to call this 'the summer of solo' LOL.
and im Proud to do so (IF i can last....LOL)
good luck with further 'exploration' (aka..dating!)
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taryn.
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julestn
Bronze
Reged: 06/14/08
Posts: 44
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If someone giving dating advice/link/opinion etc
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Dating Tips
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