calfree
New
Reged: 11/03/07
Posts: 23
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Thanks. I had no idea this process could take so long. I fear my ex is pursueing a "scorched earth" policy. He doesn't seem to mind running up the lawyer bills and delaying everything as long it hurts me. Can you imagine this? We have no kids, no house, and this thing is far from being settled. He seems to have latched onto an idea that now that he is "disabled" I should support him the rest of his life. Even though this "disablement" occurred three years after our separation and had nothing to do with our separation. My most important piece of advice is this: if you separate-make it a legal separation!!!! And keep records of everything!!!
THere is much more happening now, but I will wait until the next hearing to share.
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allthumbs
Platinum
Reged: 07/12/07
Posts: 367
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In CA, you were "legally separated" the moment one of you moved out. Furthermore, since you were married for 15 yrs, in CA, you have a marriage of long duration and the courts typically allow spousal support for at least half the length of the marriage. But to order permanent support, the court needs to consider all the factors in CA. Family Code 4320. If you ex is disabled, then he does have the "right" to pursue spousal support. And BTW, it would not matter when he became disabled, nor when you separated or divorced. That is not a factor in 4320. Your attorney should be giving correct advice. If I were you, I would subpoena ALL his bank statements, insurance policies, wage statements, etc. ALL financial records. He is REQUIRED BY LAW to supply them. Then you will have a better picture of his finances and if he is telling the truth. IT IS ILLEGAL in family court to hide income or falsify financial info and doing so can result in sanctions and fines, and more. He needs to be threatened with these FACTS. Also, you can request the court order your ex to be examined by your own medical expert to determine if he is disabled to the point he cannot work at all (do any kind of work). They will probably comply with this and order it. You will need to decide how much you want to pay to fight it or reach an agreement for temporary support to end at a specified time. In the end, it IS all about money. So you'll need to decide whom to give it to; your attorney or your ex.
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calfree
New
Reged: 11/03/07
Posts: 23
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The problem I face right now is that the ex claims to keep no records. He files no tax returns, and keeps no tally of any income received from other sources other than his disability. I have had my attorney send 5 letters in the last 6 months, including interrogatories, etc, and his responses were next to nothing. He hasn't even filed a income and expense statement yet. He runs on a "cash" basis, underground, so to speak, and it is very diffilcult to gauge his true income. Of course, he hides everything. However, we did subpoena bank records and found some interesting stuff. Hopefully, the judge will see that he is hiding his true income. But we'll see. Based on what you said about legal separation, my new advice is this: if you decide to leave, then go ahead and file right away for divorce. I was always trying to play peacemaker, like a lot of women, and in the end it does no good. I waited too long, and his situation changed, from making much more than me each year, to making less, and now I have to fight this support issue. No matter what anyone says, I will go to my grave believing that it is manifestly unfair to be liable for support for something that happened years after we separated. THe fact that he got into a accident years after we separated is no fault of mine. When I left him, he was making 20,000 more a year than me, and never paid a dime to me to help. Knowing what I know now, I would have filed for divorce the day I left.
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calfree
New
Reged: 11/03/07
Posts: 23
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Just an update. The ex seems to have gone underground. Even his own lawyer admits he doesn't know what's going on. The hearing was postphoned again to DEcember (!), and we are all waiting for any sort of response. My lawyer has sent out several letters to the other side with no response. Looks like we are stalled, and we may have to appoint a special litigator to force things along.
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gigi
Platinum
Reged: 11/06/06
Posts: 4836
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I'm not familiar with Ca law, but I'd think it would be easier now that he's disappeared. You proceed as if it's a default decree, leaving everything at status quo, which is how you wanted it, right? I mean, if he wanted or needed ongoing support, he'd be there and open about showing his records and tax returns. If he's not around, it means he doesn't much need your support.
Let me make a guess at what happened that made the extreme litigation happen a few months ago... he shows up at a lawyer's office, gives half the story, hears that he may be able to get support from you and gives authorization to go after you with everything they can muster up... The laweyr gears up the war machine and goes at it. The more they find out, the worse it looks for their client. They yell at him for not telling them everything that was relevant to the situation, and tell him that he's not as likely to get anything unless he starts showing proof of what he has been claiming to them... They tell him to get moving on fixing his tax situation asap so they'll have something to show your lawyer to prove he's on the up & up... and in the meantime he'd better start paying for some of the excessive litigation that he got the ball rolling on. He disappears and their bill goes unpaid.
What to do in this situation? Drag them into court on intermediate hearings ... like motions to compel him giving up his IRS documents and bank records to prove how he's been financing his lifestyle in the past 3 years... and when he fails to appear, ask the judge for a judgment in default in your favor since he's not pursuing the case... which there's probably a procedure in Ca civil law that allows lawsuits to be dismissed or judged in the petitioner's favor based upon the other side not showing up, and all you have to do is follow that procedure. something like providing notice and giving him time to show up and contest it...
Ask your lawyer, there's probably a way to get this to happen.
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calfree
New
Reged: 11/03/07
Posts: 23
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Wow. I think you hit it on the head. My lawyer has gone ahead with something called bifuracation, which, as she explained it, allows for the divorce to go through without these other issues like property to be settled. My lawyer had a talk with the other side and presented them with some of the financials we have gathered up and I think you are right. They cannot win. The only thing left is to divide the community property, which he has hidden away in storage and won't allow me access. The CP is worth over 70K (expensive collections of various collectables), and I suppose he'll leave the state with it now. My ex only wants to hurt me. He cannot forgive or forget that I left him, even though it has been 7 years. He carries a lot of hate around with him. Hopefully, this special master litagator can get through this BS and present his findings to the judge so he can make a final determination.
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gigi
Platinum
Reged: 11/06/06
Posts: 4836
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Do you know WHERE the storage unit is? As the current wife of a person who owns a storage unit, I'd bet they have to tell you whether or not there's a unit in his name. I'd call several close to his most recent home. If it's that valuable, he'd keep it in storage rather than dragging ti around with him if he's the unreliable type who has to keep moving.
But basically, unless you cna find it, you'll probably never get it back.
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calfree
New
Reged: 11/03/07
Posts: 23
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Actually, I did a bit of sleuthing and found out where the unit is three months ago. My lawyer has sent over six letters to the other side demanding access so I can inventory and inspect the contents, but they just ignore everything and have not responded. We subpoened the storage records, etc.. But so far so my ex refuses to allow me access to the unit. He is probably emptying out the contents as I write this. I have a feeling once the judge sees all the evidence in this case it will go very badly for my ex. He is not being open and honest about his financials or the community property, and we can prove it. People keep telling me to do this and do that, but there is nothing I can do until a judge orders it, and a judge will not see this case until some effort is made between the parties to "work it out." The problem is that the ex is doing everything he can to delay and obstruct, and he seems to be able to do this with impunity. The only good thing is that his own lawyer seems to be growing tired of this also.
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gigi
Platinum
Reged: 11/06/06
Posts: 4836
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OK, I'm thinking there may be a way to get the judge to order the storage unit's facility to put another lock on the unit and maintain it in limbo till you get a court order to cut off his lock and find the stuff. You mgith want to get an emergency hearing on that since he's disappeared.
Some kind of injunction... a temporary injunction prohibiting access ... or heck, maybe there's a process for this.
I know if a storage unit owner dies, every state has a procedure for handling it... same as if it were a safe deposit box... like it gets totally locked so NO ONE can enter till a judge orders it.
There's got to be a way for you to get this to happen. Ask your lawyer. I'm surprised your lawyer didn't suggest this, to tell the truth. Maybe you didn't explain how worried you are about this? Or maybe they've never done it before... it's not something I'd think was very common!
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calfree
New
Reged: 11/03/07
Posts: 23
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I appreciate the ideas. Believe me, my lawyer and I are looking at all possibilities. The problem is that everything moves at glacial speed. We have to give notice, then serve papers, then serve notice again, etc...My ex has also claimed in his declarations that I have the substantial part of the CP, which is a lie, but it puts me in the position of having to prove what I don't have! We are very close to creating a motion to compel and asking for sanctions, but even that process takes a long while. The other side (at least his lawyer) agreed to appoint a special master to examine the case. Then he'll make his recommendations to the court. So we'll see. But I appreciate your support! I will update as things happen.
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