KLC
New
Reged: 06/17/08
Posts: 5
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I Have been married for sixteen years. My husbands job took him all over the world. Well he was in China had an affair with a woman. I found out after he came home and she called his cell. Called him her "American Husband" After many months of therapy, the marrage is over!! We live in PA I work for a DR. have zero benifits and make little money. I took care of him and the house and kids. What can I expect? He makes over 100+ and feels I should get nothing.
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theanswerguy
Platinum
Reged: 04/12/07
Posts: 2312
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Indefinite alimony may be likely depending on your future earning capacity and age . If not , it would seem that term maintenance for 5-8 years to assist you in becoming self-supportive would be appropriate .
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Never let your sense of morals get in the way of doing what's right. Isaac Asimov
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KGrow
Platinum
Reged: 01/27/06
Posts: 3153
Loc: Colorado
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Also half the marital assets and child support if the kids are still minors.
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Jada
Platinum
Reged: 06/02/07
Posts: 3501
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He's wrong. He's looking at long-term alimony if not indefinite. And if the children are minors, he's also looking at child support.
PA is an equitable distribution state, which means that you will be getting at least half, if not more, of the marital assets. And he may be looking at taking on half, if not more, of the marital debt since he is the one making more money.
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KLC
New
Reged: 06/17/08
Posts: 5
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Just spoke with him, said that if I take him to court he will sell the house from under me. The only debt we have is the house. Everthing else is paid for. I am a very good manager. He has taken his pay check and opened a new account. Told me it is his money and completly leagal. I see a lawyer on Friday. The alimony answer give me hope, I'll be 45 next week, and spent the last 16 years cooking five course meals, redesigning his home, throwing parties, and working full time. My friends say he controls my life.
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Jada
Platinum
Reged: 06/02/07
Posts: 3501
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[quote]Just spoke with him, said that if I take him to court he will sell the house from under me. The only debt we have is the house. Everthing else is paid for. I am a very good manager. He has taken his pay check and opened a new account. Told me it is his money and completly leagal. I see a lawyer on Friday. The alimony answer give me hope, I'll be 45 next week, and spent the last 16 years cooking five course meals, redesigning his home, throwing parties, and working full time. My friends say he controls my life. [/quote]
He's trying to intimidate you. Is your name on the deed? If so, he can't sell it without your signature.
And even if it is just in his name, if it was purchased during the marriage, it is a marital property. And he will have to give you your share (which may be higher than half depending on what a judge orders or the two of you agree to), he doesn't get to determine all by himself how the assets are going to be divided.
And when you talk to the attorney, make it clear that you want to file for temporary support and you want it garnished from his wages.
However; that will only take care of the current situation. You will need to start looking into ways to support yourself as I don't think spousal support will be indefinite given that you are 45. It will probably be long-term, but not lifetime. I could be wrong, the attorney should be able to answer better.
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taryn
Platinum
Reged: 05/31/07
Posts: 2509
Loc: standing on the mountaintop! :...
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you need to move exactly HALF of all money from all accounts to a separate account.
do not spend it, but move it so he can not take it all and it vanishes.
you MUST do this.
if he's already holding his paycheck,
he's smart enough to move ALL the money.
do not be unfair.
but be smart.
dont spend it .... just move it...and just half...
and do this NOW....log off the computer, start your car, drive to the bank...FAST....
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taryn.
Edited by taryn (06/19/08 01:55 AM)
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justme1961
Gold
Reged: 03/11/08
Posts: 197
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OMG-
Almost exactly the same thing happened to me!
My ex-husband's job also took him all over the world (we worked at the same company). Back in 1996 (married 8 years then) he was send on a business trip which was supposed to be 3 weeks long. China was one of the stops on the trip. The trip wound up being 9 weeks long. About halfway through he called me and told me he wanted a divorce. I asked if there was someone else-he said no.
About 2 weeks after he came home he suddenly quit his job. A few days later someone at work handed me letters addressed to him (obviously personal-sealed with lipstick kisses). My friend at work read them for me. It turns out she was married also-in the process of divorcing her husband to be with him.
I took the letters and drove 40 miles to our house. He finally confessed. At the time he had no job and no license. Even though I had told him one more affair and our marriage was over, I could not in my heart throw him out with nowhere to go. While I was working, he would call her in China-$900 phone bill one month. I made him end it with her. Reluctantly he did. Or so I thought.
She married another American and moved over here-on the other side of the country though. Apparently they kept in touch. In 2001 his grandmother was dying-she lived near this woman-same state anyway, so he met up with her after his grandmother died. I found this out after we divorced. When I confronted him he said "my grandmother died in my arms, I needed consolation".
He got another job in international sales (making big bucks as well). He had 2 more affairs (I found out about them in the same week)before I kicked him out in 2003. The funny thing is, after we divorced, the woman from China stalked him (because now he was available-in her mind anyway). She even called my house one night.
I am so sorry you are going through this. It totally sucks! My ex also tried to screw me over-it didn't work.
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KLC
New
Reged: 06/17/08
Posts: 5
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To late he has already taken the money. Almost 100K I found that out the same time I found out about his check. I would have done that. Thats for the advice. I was just to late
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Jada
Platinum
Reged: 06/02/07
Posts: 3501
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[quote]To late he has already taken the money. Almost 100K I found that out the same time I found out about his check. I would have done that. Thats for the advice. I was just to late [/quote]
Make sure that you get a bank statement from the bank about how much he took out. He really did just screw himself by taking out all of it.
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