Butterflychel26
New
Reged: 06/17/08
Posts: 2
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Hi,
I'm 26 years old and have been married for 8 years. My husband and I have been going through some issues (for the past 14 months) and we have finally decided to file for divorce. This couldn't come at a worse time because I am not doing so well with my photography business. It's obviously not recession proof..I'm currently looking for a more stable job, in addition to heading back to school this fall. My husband returned from Iraq last year, and around that time we began having serious issues. I have tried helping him, but he doesn't respond to anything. There is just so much I can do and although we talked about divorce in the past..he told me 2 days ago that he wants to file for divorce. I almost feel as though he is hiding something..as he is very secretive with his cellular phone and computer as of late. It seems as if he wants to move out NOW and he says he will be roommating with a friend. But how does he expect me to just walk away from 8 years of marriage and just go roommate with someone and my business isn't doing so well now? It seems as though he has been planning this, while I've been thinking we are just heading to counseling or we're having a hard time. He's currently a military recruiter (with the marines) which has also been kind of hard, but i have been sticking in there. He's gone from 6am to 9pm at night 6 days a week and off on Sunday. I never questioned his schedule as he works right up the street and says that everyone works hard like he does while recruiting, so I understood. I feel as though I have been very supportive and patient with his work schedule, his mental instability and everything else. Anyway, I won't vent any longer..
How does the military divorce process work? Would I be eligible for any kind of support during the separation process? I'm not looking for a hand out, but I really need to either build my business more or find a steady job, also i have school this fall. What about health benefits? Will all that immediately stop?
He's been in the military for 9 years and we have been married for 8 years. We have no children and we currently in the Northern VA area.
Any advice would be extremely extremely helpful
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Butterflychel26
New
Reged: 06/17/08
Posts: 2
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several views but no replies? :(
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beachgirl
Gold
Reged: 11/05/06
Posts: 111
Loc: FL
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You will need to file in a civilian court. As for medical and exchange, you will be covered up until the divorce is final. Then you will be given the option to pay for COBRA coverage for a year at your expense. It is very expensive. You will need to work out a separation agreement as to support before the divorce. He is required to help with support, but usually only the difference between married and single BAH is required. This is something you need to negotiate. Good luck.
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FrauGreen
New
Reged: 07/22/08
Posts: 1
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I've been going through similar circumstance. Your husbands secretive behavior on his cell and the computer is probably because he's communicating with someone else. Especially if they're not talking to you. My husband has been doing the same. I'm overseas so I'm not sure how different things are from here to there, but you might be able to get free legal advice from JAG on post. As long as your husband hasn't been seen by them. They should be able to help you with drawing up separation/divorce papers. They can't file them for you, but they can help you for free, which will save you $$ in a civilian office. Hopefully your husband is willing to cooperate in working out what he'll give you and what you feel you deserve. If not, go do all of the legal you need to on your end and those approved in a court will be enforceable by his command. You are entitled to be taken care of for as long as you are his wife. Find out how long a divorce takes to be finalized in your state. You'll be looking for spousal support if he's been the main breadwinner in the family. Google military divorces in N. Virginia and you'll get info in a few places. Here's one for example: http://www.srislawyer.com/
Good luck with your search and with your marriage/divorce.
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iwantout
New
Reged: 01/17/07
Posts: 3
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I've been there. And it's very difficult when someone you love won't share and don't see your marriage as you see it. If he won't go with you to seek help, you go for yourself. It will help you understand him and prepare for the future.
It's a good idea to go back to school.
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