Wow! I am obviously new here and I am amazed at how similar many of your situations are. I am having a really hard time with my divorce. My wife has decided since April that she no longer wants to be married to me. It has been awful. We were in the midst of some very serious financial problems and initially it seemed like she was bailing do to discomfort. Ironically when she left I was the one suggesting we “go our separate ways”, because she refused to work or contribute to the household. She went to church 5 nights a week and was not very good at keeping our home clean. We have 4 children (4, 6, 7, and 14). The last three children were complete surprises to me but I love them dearly and have stuck by them and her even though my heart was not always in my marriage. Now she constantly tells me that she never really was in love with me and she has come to the conclusion that we should have never married after almost 15 years. I now realize how important she is to me and have come nothing short of harassing her with my begging. My self esteem is very low right now and I am extremely depressed. She has moved in with her cousin and sometimes spends the night at our home. Most of the time the kids are with me. She constantly tells me that she just wants to be “free” and will never have feelings for me again.
Roses - Thank you for the woman's POV. After 5 months of agonizing divorce lawyers etc - we went mediation route and a 12 month legal separation, signed last week. During this process I have learned a great deal about myself and have continually tried to tell my Ex how much I love her... But she have been an Express Train to a new life - never looking back.
Everyone is telling me to get over it and be strong and independent and move on. But with a 2.5 year old daughter, I want to use the next 12 months to try to repair the marriage. You are the first person I have heard to tell us what women really want. I did not really understand it while married - now I am getting it - yet being steamrolled over - I do not know that I can get the marriage back together - Ex tells me it is too little to late - I should have figured that out before she initiated divorce.
SingleDad: My wife threatens me with legal separation - I'll admit it terrifies me. Can you tell me about the terms of the separation? I just don't understand this stuff. I know in Illinois c/s is fixed - 2 kids is 28% of my gross paycheck. But what about the other terms of your separation?
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