Hi-I'm new here to this forum. My husband & I have been married almost 8 years, we have a 2 kids(1 1/2 & 5) and he has a son from a previous marriage that's 11. I love him immensely and am willing to do anything to make our marriage work. I've begged him to go to counseling but he refuses because I didn't want to go a year ago when he wanted to. At that time I was feeling frustrated in our marriage & we had been to one counselor that I didn't like & I really should have agreed to go & we should have found another counselor. But, over time, things seemed to get better & actually our intimacy level got better than it had been in a long time. We also went out togethter and were enjoying each others company again. Then he started acting weird about our finances and wanted to split our checking accounts up-he thought that would help-I didn't see how that would help & i got angry. Anyway, it spiraled down hill and he decided all of a sudden he was "DONE." He moved to his mom & dad's the end of April. I'm still not 100% convinced this is what he wants even though I got served papers this week. He said he did that because it's what I wanted. I have cried every day-sometimes I feel like I can't even get through the next minute!! I love him & cannot imagine life without him!! We have had a rough year due to our daughter being sick & in the hospital, as well as, me being sick and in the hospital. I think we both just got overly stressed out. I can't imagine why he would just want to walk away from our marriage. Anyone that knows us will say the same thing. I'm having a very hard time coping!! Please help! How do you start to move on? How do I get through the pain of missing him? I can't even get angry because it just hurts so bad!!
I guess you just have to live minute by minute at this stage and try to take care of yourself. I think that you would benefit from individual counseling also.
I am not the person to give much advice about that aspect of it. Just wanted to welcome you and wish you the best.
Thanks for the reply-yep-minute by minute-it sucks-I had a break down tonight & didn't feel like I could even get to the next minute! I miss him so freakin much!!I hate this overwhelming feeling of hurt!! This forum seems to help some-it helps to read what other people are feeling-to know I'm not alone-however I wouldn't wish this on my worst enemy!! Thanks again!!
Your husband seems to have trouble with committments - Always believing that the Grass is greener on the other side.
You need to go through your anguish and pain - don't suppress it when you are in private. But keep it hidden from your kids. And if Expressing your anguish or your desparation for your husband is pushing him away, then you need to hide those emotions from him too. Each person is different - if one method isn't working to bring your husband closer then try something else. Just avoid being demanding or nagging - all men hate that.
Just like the rest of us, you need to find strength in yourself - and most importantly, focus on your children - they need you.
Have hope that your marriage can be saved. Do all that you can - so you can know 5 years from know that you did everything you could to save your marriage.
You have two fights on your hands - a fight to save your marriage and a fight to get fair divorce terms on the other. You have to work on them both.
Be sure you get fair legal terms - H walking out on you and the kids is in your favor for custody.
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