HardKnox
Platinum
Reged: 06/13/07
Posts: 2760
Loc: Wisconsin
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I think I may be in love with juliacinaz.
I wonder if it just isn't a basic human sexual dimorphism that males display a greater propensity toward violence than females (don't we?). Within the context of sports (like football) controlled violence is a very enjoyable activity. Like say, for example, Ryno is the half-back and I am the linebacker. Ryno busts through the line and I lay the lumber to him, flatten him right out. As he's being carried off the field on a stretcher, he spits out his mouthpiece and some of his teeth and mumbles "good hit".
Then in the next quarter he runs rough-shod over me, leaving cleat-marks in my face. I slap his ass and say "good hit". It's the competition we enjoy, not the violence, per se. Now, hitting a woman or a child, there's no competition. It's not a sporting event, there's no competition. Then it's "abuse". And engaging in such activity would make us "bad men".
Defending your wife, girlfriend, or kids against a hostile, aggressive male is a form of competition. They are CHALLENGING YOU through their actions. The man is compelled to respond.
Or spend the rest of your life wearing a dress, crocheting doilies, and filing "restraining orders".
*gag*
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Ryno77
Platinum
Reged: 10/04/06
Posts: 642
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You hit the nail on the head, HK. Your example is even pretty appropriate for me specifically. I was a book nerd in high school, valedictorian, all that BS. I was humble and respected everyone. I also played sports, though, and on the field or on the court, I was a completely different person. I'd yell and I'd growl. I'd knock the crap out of someone or have the crap knocked outta me and I'd love it. I savored the competition and the physicality. My mom would say she didn't even recognize me out there, but my Dad would just smile and tell me, "good game, son".
Also, any man that acts like that and crosses over the line half-expects to have the crap beaten out of him anyway. In fact, it's even likely that when it's said and done and he's picked himself up off the ground, he'll understand and accept the reasoning behind getting his arse kicked and even chuckle over it. I know I would. Men know where the line is and know that if they cross over it, for whatever reason, an attempted ass-whooping is a real possibility. I gained a best friend in high school over a fight. He called me out, I responded, we threw punches, and afterwards we were all smiles and "that was a good hit". It's just how guys are.
But...if you want a guy that'll spend his "life wearing a dress, crocheting doilies, and filing restraining orders", you now know the behavioral patterns involved with that  .
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norcal
Platinum
Reged: 08/24/06
Posts: 991
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Trying to understand the male thinking here....
What if the original situation was a little different....
Ass grabber was someone she knew? Maybe an ex-boy friend or STBXH or co-worker ? Boyfriend resorting to violence still justified?
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life may not be the party we hoped for, but while we're here we should dance..
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cedc
Platinum
Reged: 03/02/07
Posts: 556
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Makes no difference. I know alot of my female employees and alot of them I am social with. Are you saying it's OK for me to go into the Employee lounge and start playing grab ass because I know them? An X is an X. Un wanted contact is what it it is. Some situations require that you beat the ever loving shit out of someone because they earned it.
The only talking this dude would be doing would be begging for mercy. I'm a nice guy, so of course I would remove my boot from his neck just long enough for him to get a wimper out.
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My X makes Peg Bundy look good.
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HardKnox
Platinum
Reged: 06/13/07
Posts: 2760
Loc: Wisconsin
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Quote:
Boyfriend resorting to violence still justified?
Still pretty much completely depends upon the woman's reaction.
I always told my X all she had to do was "give me the look". If she looked at me with "the look", it was time for me to intervene. I ALSO told her "don't GIVE me that look unless you are in REAL trouble", because at that point I'm not going to fart around with bein' nice and all....trying to "talk my way out of it".
Look, if you find male physical intervention undesirable, just avoid men like me and Ryno and cedc (who I am liking more by the day). Just remember that I am also the guy that cried when he found a baby bunny dead in his window-well.
It's all about controlling yourself. Pretty doubtful that you'd see any of US GUYS grabbing any womans ass (other than our wife's, of course).
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cedc
Platinum
Reged: 03/02/07
Posts: 556
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It's called respect. I know I was taught this lesson as a child. If I just grab some woman's ass ( at a book club? Sheesh,smooth move Johnny *wink* *wink*) I would EXPECT that woman to slap me in the face and I would take my beating like a man. Your crossing a line that has certain ramifications. It is also about self control. I'm not a homicidal maniac looking to bust open anybody who crosses me. 99.% of the time you just let it slide. It's that one percent if you are stupid enough,you will get hurt. God help you if you EVER mess with one of my children.
Have you ever seen that cruelty to animals commercial with Sarah Maclauclin?(sp) I cry like a schoolgirl who just dropped her lollipop in the sandbox. Every blessed time that comes on I'm a crying fool.
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My X makes Peg Bundy look good.
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HardKnox
Platinum
Reged: 06/13/07
Posts: 2760
Loc: Wisconsin
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Quote:
Have you ever seen that cruelty to animals commercial with Sarah Maclauclin?(sp) I cry like a schoolgirl who just dropped her lollipop in the sandbox. Every blessed time that comes on I'm a crying fool.
BWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!
No, I ain't seen that one.
You got a way with words cedc.
And you graphically illustrate the point. Those of us who don't shy away from physical confrontations aren't all knuckle-dragging cavemen. Guys that cross the line of disrespect got it comin'. We're just willing to let 'em have it.
What kind of man would stare at the floor while another man is grabbing his GFs ASS? Even using the term "f*uck" in her presense?
We don't tolerate that kinda behavior in Wisconsin.
Not even in the tavern.
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cedc
Platinum
Reged: 03/02/07
Posts: 556
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We don't tolerate that in New Jersey either. Home of the cement shoes if you get lippy.
I like the thinking out of the box idea. I was thinking how am I going to get the remains IN the box without making a mess.
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My X makes Peg Bundy look good.
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taryn
Platinum
Reged: 05/31/07
Posts: 2450
Loc: standing on the mountaintop! :...
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Quote:
It's called respect. I know I was taught this lesson as a child. If I just grab some woman's ass ( at a book club? Sheesh,smooth move Johnny *wink* *wink*) I would EXPECT that woman to slap me in the face and I would take my beating like a man. Your crossing a line that has certain ramifications. It is also about self control. I'm not a homicidal maniac looking to bust open anybody who crosses me. 99.% of the time you just let it slide. It's that one percent if you are stupid enough,you will get hurt. God help you if you EVER mess with one of my children.
ive had a lot of conversaions with my friends over this very kind of attitude from guys.
(NOT the ass grabbing thing...the OTHER guy's handling of it)
and
hands down women would rather a guy be a 'man'
and not pusy foot around.
NOT that it should happen much, i mean really,
how often can a woman Not defend herself,
BUT when the situation calls for it...
....Yeah...lay him FLAT!
(and your woman will thank you for it)
ps.
i could be off...
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taryn.
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malone
Platinum
Reged: 12/30/07
Posts: 2026
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Mostly I'm a pacifist. But I'd be pretty embarassed if the man I was with didn't take action over some guy grabbing my @ss, and telling me I looked like I wanted a [censored word].
In the end it's the difference that's as old as time itself. I can protect myself, but only so far. There aretimes when a man can protect you best and that would be one of them. Even if it's just to THREATEN a mashing vs actually giving one.
I couldn't condone a true mashing. I don't like violence and most of all, I wouldn't want the man I was with to end up in jail. But physical intimidation of a loser has it's place. This would be one of them.
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