Ryno77
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Reged: 10/04/06
Posts: 642
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Hypothetical here. You're girlfriend is part of some kind of club...let's say a book club. There's a guy that goes there that's made inappropriate sexual comments to her on a couple occasions. He's even grabbed her ass without consent and laughed about it. She's told him to stop, but he hasn't. You decide to visit the book club with your gal and this fella mouths off and says something inappropriate...something like, "You look like you're ready to be f*cked", while you're within ear shot. You confront the guy. You get in close, as guys do, and tell him in such a way that there's no misunderstanding, "One more comment like that and you and I are going to have a problem". Ten minutes later he slaps your girlfriend's ass as she walks by him.
My Opinion, in GuyWorld, this is a clear pass to whip some ass. Not only is it a pass, but where I was raised, you're obligated to do something to cease the behavior immediately. Shove said fella into a wall. Deck him and lay him out, maybe. Whichever, but a verbal warning didn't work and this guy's a repeat offender. Clearly a physical response is appropriate, right?
Is it the pacifist thing to do? No. It might not even be the adult thing to do. I'm pretty damned convinced it's the manly thing to do, though. Am I just thinking like an immature kid or is this just one of those direct challenges to a guy's manhood that simply cannot be ignored?
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Jada
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Reged: 06/02/07
Posts: 3458
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Who says you have to ignore it? You don't have to assault a person to get the point across.
You can just have that person who just assaulted your girlfriend arrested for breaking the law. AND a restraining order slapped against him. If you go after the guy, you will be the one in jail and a restraining order.
Not only will that get the point across that he's behaving like an a$$, it will stop future assaults as he will no longer be able to attend the book club if your girlfriend is there. And if he is convicted, he will have a record that will follow him everywhere he goes.
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Nish
Platinum
Reged: 02/18/07
Posts: 1365
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Ryno,
He didn't assault the bf's manhood, he committed a crime that the lady who was assaulted, should have reported first time he touched her without her permission or consent.
He is an a##hole who clearly needs a lesson that being arrested and convicted of assault would teach him. That his type of bulliness and crudeness will not be tolerated and there are consequences for his inappropriate behavoir.
In otherwords....what Jada already said, the cops called and charges filed. The bf, may feel he is defending his lady, if he were to deck the guy. What he would be doing is, defending himself, in a court of law for assault.
Don't doubt for a minute that he would be placing a call to the cops if someone laid a hand on him. The bf and him might both end up cooling their butts in jail. Trust me, the lowlife isn't worth it.
The lady or the bf calls the cops and let's the legal system slap him on his "hypothectical" butt.
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juliacinaz
Platinum
Reged: 02/03/08
Posts: 907
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Kick his A$$! It will be worth the night in jail. Let him hit you first then knock his lights out! Then have her file charges against him! JMHO!
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abbysfv
Platinum
Reged: 02/13/08
Posts: 716
Loc: LA, CA
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That's sexual assault I would call the police and have that guy arrested.
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My subconscious is smarter.
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mfergel
Platinum
Reged: 02/11/08
Posts: 1467
Loc: Richmond, VA
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Also, if this is a club, I'd bring it to the attention of the person in charge of the club. He should be kicked out of the club.
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Damn it's good to laugh again.
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HardKnox
Platinum
Reged: 06/13/07
Posts: 2760
Loc: Wisconsin
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Quote:
Am I just thinking like an immature kid or is this just one of those direct challenges to a guy's manhood that simply cannot be ignored?
You already know what I'm going to say.
And I'll tell you this, there is a whole new species of man out there that hides behind the possibility of litigation to act out in any manner they choose. I'm sorry, if this unacceptable action is directed at my wife, or my daughter (if I had one), or my sister, or my girlfriend, I'm going to take an awful lot of pleasure watching the guy crawl around on his hands and knees crying looking for his teeth I just knocked out. If I spend a night or two in the slammer, fine. I really don't care anymore.
Grabbing the girlfriends ass, huh?
I guess rather than the "teeth thing", I'd stomp his fingers until they were all broken, then. Let the punishment fit the crime.
Violently yours,
HK
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mrpat
Platinum
Reged: 09/12/07
Posts: 2726
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DITTO
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norcal
Platinum
Reged: 08/24/06
Posts: 992
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My opinion in Girl's-World is violence is never a solution and only appropriate if she felt physically threatened...... did she?
Although your chivalry is honorable, she may be a little put off by your inability to see that she's capable of handling groping, loser on her own.
It would be completely different if she had asked you to help her with the situation, which I'm assuming she didn't?? It seems (to me) the way you described things, your reaction has more to do with defending your manhood than anything pertaining to her or her situation.
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life may not be the party we hoped for, but while we're here we should dance..
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Ryno77
Platinum
Reged: 10/04/06
Posts: 642
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OK, so I THINK mfergal and nish are girls (sorry if you're not!) and HK and mrpat are fellas. If that's the case, so far it's a clear split based on what equipment you're sportin'.
Honestly, that's how I figured this would go. If you're a guy, something in you overrides the sense of right vs. wrong in the law's eyes and puts aside the practical repurcussions from doing what you SHOULD do and you instead do what your gut demands you to. This goes beyond logical thought and strikes a chord at the very core of what it is to be a man. It's an animalistic reaction. It's drawing on the part of you that's the alpha male in your tribe of two and forces you to protect your borders from trespassers.
Anyone remember the show Ally McBeal? Lawyer thing, Calista Flockhart(sp), whatever. There was a dood on there named "Biscuit" (I think...small guy, brilliant, very few muscles, picked on...etc...) and I clearly remember watching one episode where he was defending a guy that got into a bar brawl because someone insulted his gal.
He went on to defend by telling his own story of how he witnessed a bold insult in a bar. I don't recall if it was to him or to the person he was with. Nonetheless, he recounted how he hit the offending man, and laid him out on the floor. Then he said something close to, "As a citizen, as a civilized human being, and as a free-thinking member of society...I was deeply ashamed of my actions. <INSERT DRAMATIC PAUSE!!> But as a man, a living and breathing man, it was one of the proudest moments of my life".
Make logical sense. Nope! But I agreed with it then, and I agree with it now.
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germangirl631
Platinum
Reged: 04/04/08
Posts: 1270
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Ferg, I think someone just called you a GIRL! What are you gonna do about it???
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mrpat
Platinum
Reged: 09/12/07
Posts: 2726
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Ryno implied this happened more than once................She is not capable of handling this situation if it happens more than once.....................BEATIN' TIME!
I've been jailed and this is a situation worth it.
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norcal
Platinum
Reged: 08/24/06
Posts: 992
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Even if she didn't ask for help or even if she specifically asked for him not to swoop in and rescue her?
You still think it's reasonable behavior? Which was the original question..... 'reasonable'.
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life may not be the party we hoped for, but while we're here we should dance..
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cedc
Platinum
Reged: 03/02/07
Posts: 556
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Don't worry about him pressing charges. The brain damage he suffers won't allow him to remember anything. I have showed remarkable restraint against the other guy in relation to me. The ONLY reason I haven't stomped this dude into the dirt is because he is pu$$y enough to take it out on my kids when they are at their mother's house. I'm a formidable sized man and I know how to "make things right" and he knows this. I can actually hear a little squirt of shit hit this mans tighty whities when I come over to pick up my kids.
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My X makes Peg Bundy look good.
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numbnms
Platinum
Reged: 10/18/07
Posts: 708
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Womans view ... talk talk talk, file charges, get someone else to handle your problem.
Man's view kick his a$$ and dont look back.
Are we really this black and white? Sheesh there is a really simple answer. Call his bluff, next time he grabs her a$$ ask him in a loud voice that everyone can hear "Look a$$hole she asked you not to grab her a$$ again would you please leave her alone, she obviously doesnt like you are you really that stupid?" He will of course respond in kind, you will respond again, he will gt mad take a swing at you......Then WAIL on his a$$ till the cops get there, claim self defense because he started the fight, he goes to jail, you don't look bad because you were defending yourself.
Outside the box people, outside the box, learn to think there.
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Forget waiting for the storm to pass
Learn to dance in the rain
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HardKnox
Platinum
Reged: 06/13/07
Posts: 2760
Loc: Wisconsin
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Quote:
Outside the box people, outside the box, learn to think there.
[censored] thinking.
One good solid punch in the bowel.
Done.
I hear they got good bologna and American cheese on white bread sandwiches in prison.
*drool*
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norcal
Platinum
Reged: 08/24/06
Posts: 992
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I think the black and white comes from having to respond on an open forum. Pretty sure if a guy thought that he would handle it without violence he isn't gonna step-up and say so now...
after pushing, shoving, flailing fists and flying teeth!
Be great if he did though! 
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life may not be the party we hoped for, but while we're here we should dance..
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mrpat
Platinum
Reged: 09/12/07
Posts: 2726
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There is nothing wrong with violence in certian situations.
This from a pacifist.
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Ryno77
Platinum
Reged: 10/04/06
Posts: 642
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Sorry mfergel! I couldn't tell by your name.
Brute force, or the threat thereof, has solved many a conflict throughout the ages. You threaten force, threat is ignored, and you DON'T back it up then you've just set a nasty little precedent that indicates you're full of sh*t. Same rule goes to threatening kids with punishment and never following through. You just don't do go that route.
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juliacinaz
Platinum
Reged: 02/03/08
Posts: 907
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Ryno...gotta love the bisquit! I remember that episode and I agree and I am a woman. Knock his teeth out and break his fingers. I have been treated like that and there is nothing you can say or litigate that helps. The guy needs to be taken out back.
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HardKnox
Platinum
Reged: 06/13/07
Posts: 2760
Loc: Wisconsin
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I think I may be in love with juliacinaz.
I wonder if it just isn't a basic human sexual dimorphism that males display a greater propensity toward violence than females (don't we?). Within the context of sports (like football) controlled violence is a very enjoyable activity. Like say, for example, Ryno is the half-back and I am the linebacker. Ryno busts through the line and I lay the lumber to him, flatten him right out. As he's being carried off the field on a stretcher, he spits out his mouthpiece and some of his teeth and mumbles "good hit".
Then in the next quarter he runs rough-shod over me, leaving cleat-marks in my face. I slap his ass and say "good hit". It's the competition we enjoy, not the violence, per se. Now, hitting a woman or a child, there's no competition. It's not a sporting event, there's no competition. Then it's "abuse". And engaging in such activity would make us "bad men".
Defending your wife, girlfriend, or kids against a hostile, aggressive male is a form of competition. They are CHALLENGING YOU through their actions. The man is compelled to respond.
Or spend the rest of your life wearing a dress, crocheting doilies, and filing "restraining orders".
*gag*
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Ryno77
Platinum
Reged: 10/04/06
Posts: 642
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You hit the nail on the head, HK. Your example is even pretty appropriate for me specifically. I was a book nerd in high school, valedictorian, all that BS. I was humble and respected everyone. I also played sports, though, and on the field or on the court, I was a completely different person. I'd yell and I'd growl. I'd knock the crap out of someone or have the crap knocked outta me and I'd love it. I savored the competition and the physicality. My mom would say she didn't even recognize me out there, but my Dad would just smile and tell me, "good game, son".
Also, any man that acts like that and crosses over the line half-expects to have the crap beaten out of him anyway. In fact, it's even likely that when it's said and done and he's picked himself up off the ground, he'll understand and accept the reasoning behind getting his arse kicked and even chuckle over it. I know I would. Men know where the line is and know that if they cross over it, for whatever reason, an attempted ass-whooping is a real possibility. I gained a best friend in high school over a fight. He called me out, I responded, we threw punches, and afterwards we were all smiles and "that was a good hit". It's just how guys are.
But...if you want a guy that'll spend his "life wearing a dress, crocheting doilies, and filing restraining orders", you now know the behavioral patterns involved with that  .
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norcal
Platinum
Reged: 08/24/06
Posts: 992
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Trying to understand the male thinking here....
What if the original situation was a little different....
Ass grabber was someone she knew? Maybe an ex-boy friend or STBXH or co-worker ? Boyfriend resorting to violence still justified?
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life may not be the party we hoped for, but while we're here we should dance..
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cedc
Platinum
Reged: 03/02/07
Posts: 556
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Makes no difference. I know alot of my female employees and alot of them I am social with. Are you saying it's OK for me to go into the Employee lounge and start playing grab ass because I know them? An X is an X. Un wanted contact is what it it is. Some situations require that you beat the ever loving shit out of someone because they earned it.
The only talking this dude would be doing would be begging for mercy. I'm a nice guy, so of course I would remove my boot from his neck just long enough for him to get a wimper out.
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My X makes Peg Bundy look good.
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HardKnox
Platinum
Reged: 06/13/07
Posts: 2760
Loc: Wisconsin
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Quote:
Boyfriend resorting to violence still justified?
Still pretty much completely depends upon the woman's reaction.
I always told my X all she had to do was "give me the look". If she looked at me with "the look", it was time for me to intervene. I ALSO told her "don't GIVE me that look unless you are in REAL trouble", because at that point I'm not going to fart around with bein' nice and all....trying to "talk my way out of it".
Look, if you find male physical intervention undesirable, just avoid men like me and Ryno and cedc (who I am liking more by the day). Just remember that I am also the guy that cried when he found a baby bunny dead in his window-well.
It's all about controlling yourself. Pretty doubtful that you'd see any of US GUYS grabbing any womans ass (other than our wife's, of course).
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cedc
Platinum
Reged: 03/02/07
Posts: 556
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It's called respect. I know I was taught this lesson as a child. If I just grab some woman's ass ( at a book club? Sheesh,smooth move Johnny *wink* *wink*) I would EXPECT that woman to slap me in the face and I would take my beating like a man. Your crossing a line that has certain ramifications. It is also about self control. I'm not a homicidal maniac looking to bust open anybody who crosses me. 99.% of the time you just let it slide. It's that one percent if you are stupid enough,you will get hurt. God help you if you EVER mess with one of my children.
Have you ever seen that cruelty to animals commercial with Sarah Maclauclin?(sp) I cry like a schoolgirl who just dropped her lollipop in the sandbox. Every blessed time that comes on I'm a crying fool.
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My X makes Peg Bundy look good.
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HardKnox
Platinum
Reged: 06/13/07
Posts: 2760
Loc: Wisconsin
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Quote:
Have you ever seen that cruelty to animals commercial with Sarah Maclauclin?(sp) I cry like a schoolgirl who just dropped her lollipop in the sandbox. Every blessed time that comes on I'm a crying fool.
BWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!
No, I ain't seen that one.
You got a way with words cedc.
And you graphically illustrate the point. Those of us who don't shy away from physical confrontations aren't all knuckle-dragging cavemen. Guys that cross the line of disrespect got it comin'. We're just willing to let 'em have it.
What kind of man would stare at the floor while another man is grabbing his GFs ASS? Even using the term "f*uck" in her presense?
We don't tolerate that kinda behavior in Wisconsin.
Not even in the tavern.
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cedc
Platinum
Reged: 03/02/07
Posts: 556
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We don't tolerate that in New Jersey either. Home of the cement shoes if you get lippy.
I like the thinking out of the box idea. I was thinking how am I going to get the remains IN the box without making a mess.
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My X makes Peg Bundy look good.
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taryn
Platinum
Reged: 05/31/07
Posts: 2456
Loc: standing on the mountaintop! :...
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Quote:
It's called respect. I know I was taught this lesson as a child. If I just grab some woman's ass ( at a book club? Sheesh,smooth move Johnny *wink* *wink*) I would EXPECT that woman to slap me in the face and I would take my beating like a man. Your crossing a line that has certain ramifications. It is also about self control. I'm not a homicidal maniac looking to bust open anybody who crosses me. 99.% of the time you just let it slide. It's that one percent if you are stupid enough,you will get hurt. God help you if you EVER mess with one of my children.
ive had a lot of conversaions with my friends over this very kind of attitude from guys.
(NOT the ass grabbing thing...the OTHER guy's handling of it)
and
hands down women would rather a guy be a 'man'
and not pusy foot around.
NOT that it should happen much, i mean really,
how often can a woman Not defend herself,
BUT when the situation calls for it...
....Yeah...lay him FLAT!
(and your woman will thank you for it)
ps.
i could be off...
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taryn.
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malone
Platinum
Reged: 12/30/07
Posts: 2026
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Mostly I'm a pacifist. But I'd be pretty embarassed if the man I was with didn't take action over some guy grabbing my @ss, and telling me I looked like I wanted a [censored word].
In the end it's the difference that's as old as time itself. I can protect myself, but only so far. There aretimes when a man can protect you best and that would be one of them. Even if it's just to THREATEN a mashing vs actually giving one.
I couldn't condone a true mashing. I don't like violence and most of all, I wouldn't want the man I was with to end up in jail. But physical intimidation of a loser has it's place. This would be one of them.
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mfergel
Platinum
Reged: 02/11/08
Posts: 1467
Loc: Richmond, VA
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hehehehe........I got called a girl. :-)
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Damn it's good to laugh again.
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cedc
Platinum
Reged: 03/02/07
Posts: 556
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