Motor-Head
Platinum
Reged: 02/07/08
Posts: 701
Loc: 10,000 RPM
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Boy it sure is different. Kind of sucks.
Not sure what to think about it other then most relationships start with sex before love.
Guess I am not alone. LOL
At this point I am still trying define what love really is
At least I know what sex is. I like it but boy it sure is different.
So who else felt this way after being married for years and in love at one time ??
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germangirl631
Platinum
Reged: 04/04/08
Posts: 1338
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At this stage in my life, I couldn't do sex without love. When I was younger, what the heck. Anything went. But now, if I don't feel connected to a man, I would never consider sex. For me right now, sex without love would be a dirty deed. I need my sex to be making love, not just having sex. I think I would feel very empty afterwards if I didn't love the guy.
When I was younger, sex without love was just that, empty sex. All the unknowns of will he call me? I wonder if it was good for him. It was more of a conquest rather than true sexual fulfillment. These days, I'm holding out for the sexual fulfillment. To me, that's priceless.
As I think about it, the last 2 years of my marriage were basically sex without love. We really weren't in love any more, and I felt it more my duty than a desire for sex with my stbx. It was empty then, too. Yuk.
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HardKnox
Platinum
Reged: 06/13/07
Posts: 2764
Loc: Wisconsin
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A rather odd post from The Motor-Head, methinks.
Bad sexual encounter last night?
I already know what sex without love is like. I'm really not INTERESTED in sex without love at this point in my life (not specifically with YOU, Motor-Head, but with ANYBODY, so don't take it personally).
Unlike what some others have posted here, I really DID love my wife. Hopelessly. Totally. Unconditionally. And until such time as I can experience that again, I guess I'll just go fishing alot.
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Motor-Head
Platinum
Reged: 02/07/08
Posts: 701
Loc: 10,000 RPM
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Perhaps I should have given a little more background info as I did not just go out and get laid last night and think boy this is different.
I found out a ladie that works at the same company was divorced. I had know her for the last 8 yeas as a married person and so was I. We wear both on the Christmas committee and we had a budget to spend so we had a fun time coming up with ways to spend it. Etc etc etc . Basically always new she was fun person and liked her personality but never thought anything of it as we were both married. Then I found out she was D So we started talking and such for about the last month. Went out etc etc . Then it happened. So I do have feelings for her and like her a lot but to say I love her . Well I can’t say that because I can’t even define what love is at this point.
We do have a connection/ I think about her all the time and she does about me as well. She treats me with respect etc etc I guess at one time I would have defined this as love but after getting what I considered burned in my marriage I just don’t know.
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Sarah1014
Platinum
Reged: 04/12/07
Posts: 2354
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Well, love grows. If the feeling of love isn't there yet, that's ok. She sounds pretty nice and in time, you'll be in love with her....AND you'll say it. You're just not ready/feeling it yet.
Has she said "I love you?"
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numbnms
Platinum
Reged: 10/18/07
Posts: 708
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I have to let you know motor...that is of course assuming I ever have sex again. :-(
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Forget waiting for the storm to pass
Learn to dance in the rain
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justmejulia
Gold
Reged: 04/12/07
Posts: 186
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Well I totally get that the sex with love is better. But I am a firm believer in that old song. If you can't be with the one you love....love the one you are with. I really do not love with the depth I did before divorce. I cannot let anyone get that close. After my most recent heartbreak, I may just consider that sex without love is at least better than no sex at all!
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Motor-Head
Platinum
Reged: 02/07/08
Posts: 701
Loc: 10,000 RPM
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Quote:
Well, love grows. If the feeling of love isn't there yet, that's ok. She sounds pretty nice and in time, you'll be in love with her....AND you'll say it. You're just not ready/feeling it yet.
Has she said "I love you?"
No she has not said it out right but makes comments about how I have consumed her life and how good she feels since we started talking etc. I think part of the problem is both our x spouses cheated and we both wanted to try and save them relationship but failed. I think we are both afraid at this point LOL
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numbnms
Platinum
Reged: 10/18/07
Posts: 708
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Julia, call me
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Forget waiting for the storm to pass
Learn to dance in the rain
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justmejulia
Gold
Reged: 04/12/07
Posts: 186
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Quote:
Julia, call me
PM me your number!
Trust me this attitude has made me quite popular. I am not sure how I feel about the men I am attracting though!
I have been on POF and I have about 8 men chasing me presently. Two are just shameless! I am having fun with it though and at least I am not crying in my beer over the ex!
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