Divorce Support Forums: Abuse to my advantage?

You said:

What i meant by the abuse to my advantage was my husbands abuse not mine.

My response:

Both counts

You said:

Mine should not even be considered abuse because i didnt hit my husband

My response:

An attempt is still against the law. And you can end up with a criminal record because of an attempt.

You said:

and if i did it wasnt just because. I obviously was furious to have found him with some [censored] wich you probably understand because you as I can see don't see my point of view at all.

My response:

I do see your point of view. I don't agree with it.

Tell me, would you accept your excuse from one of your kids who just hit the other?

I tell my kids that there is no justification for hitting another person and that the only time they are to do so is in self-defense and then, only enough to get away.

You are trying to justify what you did. While what you did isn't as bad as what your stbx did, it's still abuse. And there is no justification for it.

You said:

You must have something in common with this homewrecking tramp I caught my husband with.

My response:

Something in common with someone who slept with a married man? No, married men are off limits. And have always been.

You said:

And why in the HELL would I want to stick around a peice of crap state that is not even my home where i have no friends and family to support me for me to raise my children.

My response:

The answer is simple:

To keep custody of your kids. Just because you want to move doesn't mean that a court will let the kids move.

You said:

Oh yeah that's real great influence and example for my children for them to continue to live in a home around there adulterer father and his [censored].

My response:

You do realize that if the kids are allowed to move with you, you will have to send them back for long periods of time with their father, don't you? Typically, the parenting plan for long distance parents gives the ncp (which could end up being you) most of the summer and school breaks. That is something you may want to consider.

You said:

About the anger management that crap dont even work my husband is goin on two years of anger management treatment and he still kicked my ass! in front of my children and pregnant.

My response:

I agree, anger management classes aren't going to work if the ones taking it aren't taking it seriously. But a court can still order it.

Edited to add:

I can understand the fear and pain that you must have gone through when he was beating you. My ex wasn't that bad, his thing was throwing things and twisting my arm.

When it comes to custody, it isn't going to matter that he was abusive to you, even in front of the kids. My ex's abuse was enough to get no overnight visits until he completed an anger management course, which took him almost a year to do. It wasn't enough for sole custody. Even with what he did to my youngest it was not enough. And my hands were clean.

You have an uphill battle and if you think the reaction here was bad (it wasn't, the reaction is realistic. You muddied your case with your attempted assault), just what do you think is going to happen in court with his attorney questioning you?

I know one of the questions that I would be asking is this:

If you are so scared of being beaten by your husband, why did you attempt to hit him? Weren't you afraid that he would beat you if you did? What about the kids? Weren't you afraid that they would get caught in the crossfire if he did beat you?

You need a good attorney.