needadviceMS
New
Reged: 06/26/08
Posts: 18
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Father has sole physical custody and paramount care or minor children.
Mother and Father have full joint legal custody of minor children.
Mother does not follow visitation or give required three day notice for visitation. Maternal grandmother has regular schedule for watching children and mother visits at her house when in town. Mother missed the first 48 child support payments, but has made 6 consecutive payments in the past six months. She also attended parenting classes at the request of the father.
Question: What responsibilities does the father have in regards to informing the mother of medical and educational information? She has not in the past requested to attend any meetings, but feels she has been left out of the loop. She has never requested records from the school or the doctors - even though she has all the names/addresses. And if the parties cannot agree - what should happen? Who has the final say? Specifically we are talking about children's medication, therapies, tutoring, and holding a child back a grade.
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eiram
Gold
Reged: 06/23/08
Posts: 102
Loc: Indiana
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[quote]Father has sole physical custody and paramount care or minor children.
Mother and Father have full joint legal custody of minor children.
Mother does not follow visitation or give required three day notice for visitation. Maternal grandmother has regular schedule for watching children and mother visits at her house when in town. Mother missed the first 48 child support payments, but has made 6 consecutive payments in the past six months.
******48 missed payments? is this due to no job or laziness? i would definately not put up with that and would have found her in contempt of court.
She also attended parenting classes at the request of the father.
Question: What responsibilities does the father have in regards to informing the mother of medical and educational information? She has not in the past requested to attend any meetings, but feels she has been left out of the loop.
******i send the information to my X regardless, so he can not say he didn't receive it.
She has never requested records from the school or the doctors - even though she has all the names/addresses. And if the parties cannot agree - what should happen?
******you have to make the best decision for the child. there were many things that my X didn't want to happen. I had to do what was best for my child at the time. (to medicate or not to medicate) and i decided if it will help him become a better student, then i have to try it and now he has been such a better student for it. X realizes that too now.
Who has the final say? Specifically we are talking about children's medication, therapies, tutoring, and holding a child back a grade. [/quote]
****** you do as sole physical custody parent. as long as you are doing what is in the best interest of the child. i would hope a judge would see that it was a decision made in the best interest of the child at the time. make sure you have documentation from his doctors recommendations and such.
i hope that helps! good luck!
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to my ex - what goes around, comes around. you'll get yours...
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numbnms
Platinum
Reged: 10/18/07
Posts: 677
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Very good answers but I have to take exception with one. Who has final vote aka veto power. As sole physical custodian you are in the position to force what you want and what you think is best for your children however she does have joint legal custody so she can take you to court if she disagrees with what you are doing. I think I just said essentially the same thing.
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Forget waiting for the storm to pass
Learn to dance in the rain
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needadviceMS
New
Reged: 06/26/08
Posts: 18
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48 missed payments due to she didn't think it was necessary or that it really applied to her. Originally, only $25 a month was asked for - but the judge increased it to $167. Even paying now, she says it is a strain. She is also supposed to contribute 50% to medical costs, but asks that we keep it to the absolute necessities.
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stoltz
Platinum
Reged: 01/29/07
Posts: 1489
Loc: Texas
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48 missed payments due to she didn't think it was necessary or that it really applied to her.
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LOL! Entitlement princess? I can only imagine what would happen to a father if he thought this way.
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Even paying now, she says it is a strain.
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OMG!!!! Poor dear.
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She is also supposed to contribute 50% to medical costs, but asks that we keep it to the absolute necessities.
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Again, poor dear. Be glad her ex doesn't drag her into court on every whim to bleed her absolutely dry (and put her in arrears by doing so).
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cheeps
Bronze
Reged: 09/30/07
Posts: 33
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Since she has joint, she is allowed access to school and medical records and she can do that herself legally and you won't get nailed...it really is on her to send the copy of the decree and ask about the kids.
As a decent parent, you should keep her informed of your decisions on Drs. and illnesses. When it comes to medications...if she is a decent parent you both should talk about it and help the kid but legally it's on you to make final decisions.
In my state you must have a huge change in circumstance to return to court for stuff and be taken seriously.
Is she someone who can co-parent with?
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needadviceMS
New
Reged: 06/26/08
Posts: 18
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Problem is that SHE really isn't that interested. She doesn't show up to any teacher's meetings or ask for anything. We provide a lot without being asked. But most of the time she is busy partying or looking for a new relationship.
The person who wants to be involved is her mother.
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chatter box
Platinum
Reged: 11/09/07
Posts: 1244
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I would keep her informed of bigger issues anyway. You can decide for all the things you think are right with the exception of visitations. It's up to her is she wants those. Theropy is expensive and could take years so keep that in mind when mom only wants to keep things to a minimum.
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jersey girl
Platinum
Reged: 08/07/06
Posts: 1579
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I am going to come down on the other side on this. Your responsibility is to make sure the school knows that she should have access when she asks for it. You should inform her on medical issues. But sending her stuff when she doesn't ask for it - nope - you are parenting her then, not your kids.
Let her know that the school is waiting for her to contact them with scheduling of conferences, etc.
What her mother wants is not your concern.
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