emsgirl
Platinum
Reged: 11/06/07
Posts: 251
Loc: Illinois
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Okay a little refresher for the oldies here and to let the newbies know some of what has happened to get me here.
My ex and I got married in 2000. He cheated on me once and I forgave him. He cheated again and I couldn't forgive him a second time. We seperated in November 2007 and our divorce was final on June 3rd.
Okay... so now he isn't with anyone and neither am I. He says he knows he f'd up and has been wanting me back since the end of January.
Well we have remained friends and get along fine. This past Tuesday I went to his apt to pick up our son. My ex had his other son from his other ex wife there so I decided to make him his favorite meal (tator tot casserole) before my son and I left. My son fell asleep on the floor, my ex-stepson fell asleep on the love seat and my ex fell asleep in the chair. I got done fixing the dinner and put it in the oven. There was no where to sit so I went to my ex's bedroom and layed on his bed. He woke up and came in there and started rubbing my back. It felt so good to have the gentle touch of a man again... well one thing led to another and well I guess you can figure out what happened next.
I feel so ashamed, I feel so bad that I let this happen. I just keep thinking how and why did I let that happen. It just makes me so upset with myself.
Okay... thanks for listening, I had to get that off my chest.
Am I a horrible person though??
Michelle
Edited by emsgirl (06/26/08 10:10 PM)
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abbysfv
Platinum
Reged: 02/13/08
Posts: 687
Loc: LA, CA
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I think it was just a moment of weakness, but try not to let it happen again.
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Recovering trusting dufus.
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numbnms
Platinum
Reged: 10/18/07
Posts: 677
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Yup your a horrible person, shame on you for being human and falling victim to a moment of weakness. Just be aware of what he will be thinking next time you are tired and lay down in his bed and unless it is something you want to happen remove yourself from the situation.
We still luvs ya M
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Forget waiting for the storm to pass
Learn to dance in the rain
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melanie14
Platinum
Reged: 03/11/06
Posts: 3058
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it happened because you are human and have feelings and needs...just like the rest of us. Don't beat yourself up over this..it was an oopsie! You didn't cheat on anyone, didn't mess up anyone's life...you're still a great mom and person. Let it go!
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emsgirl
Platinum
Reged: 11/06/07
Posts: 251
Loc: Illinois
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oh thank you all for understanding. It was a moment of weakness. I am the type of girl who LOVES sex and having not had any kind of male contact since October I was going nuts... then to feel the touch of a man, well I just melted. Having the real thing is a lot different then well...
I am not going to let it happen again though.
thanks agin for understanding. I was actually scared to post this here cause I was afraid of getting bashed. But, like always ya all are the BEST!
Michelle
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Do not make someone a priority when you are only an option to them!
www.myspace.com/emsgirl538
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NHTom
Platinum
Reged: 06/10/08
Posts: 405
Loc: New Hampshire
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Good for you for taking a sane approach to this.
Don't lie down on his bed again. (duh!) :) He may expect a repeat performance, though.
Would it help to find a male friend whom you can trust and get hugs from him?
I hugged an old friend for a few minutes last night and the smile still hasn't left my face. Just a hug!
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So much to forget...
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Nish
Platinum
Reged: 02/18/07
Posts: 1305
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Well not like you had sex with some total stranger. Just not the wisest choice...but yes, I do understand that when it has been awhile, and well...stuff happens.
Lesson learned here is, don't lay on the ex's bed, and if he decides you look like you need a massage, just tell him "Thanks, but no thanks."
What is done is done. Just stay on guard and avoid a repeat.
May be time to look to cultivate finding a nice guy you can date and spend time with. I agree the real thing is so much better than any substitutes out there.
This is nothing to beat yourself up about and hopefully it took the "edge" off for you.
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faith4two
Platinum
Reged: 11/11/07
Posts: 353
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I don't think you're a "horrible" person for letting it happen. But with him expressing a desire to reconcile, I wonder how he's going to interpret that?
I hope, for your sake, that HE sees it as a moment of weakness and not a door that you've left open. I might do a little damage control and let it be known quite clearly that you're not going there again.... EVER. And I'd probably deliver the message by handing him the recipe for tater tot casserole.
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faith4two
Platinum
Reged: 11/11/07
Posts: 353
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....standing on his doorstep, where you refuse to enter. ;)
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germangirl631
Platinum
Reged: 04/04/08
Posts: 1043
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I can't say I'll ever be in your situation. I hated sex with my stbx for the last 3 years, so I can't imagine even touching him again. It creeps me out. At least you have a decent, friendly relationship with your x. That's a bonus. You should definitely clear the air quickly on what happened if it's not something you want to happen again.
You're human. Don't beat yourself up over this!
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